Jump to content

Thinking about breaking up before Huge Valentine Trip, What Should I do?


gvision

Recommended Posts

We have this big valentine trip coming up and im thinking about breaking off my 2 year relationship tonight.

 

Its just gotten too stressful for me and the love has faded away. We just have different outlooks on life.

 

She has the whole weekend off from work so we can go on this trip and is really looking forward to it. Do you think i should hold off?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 60
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Go on the trip and see how things pan out.

 

If things are horrible, it's the nail in the coffin. Maybe this weekend will turn it around.

 

You're already breaking up with her, don't ruin her valentine's day and vacation. She won't even have work to distract her and will feel like a fool when all her friends ask "I thought you were going on a trip with your boyfriend?".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Go on the trip and see how things pan out.

 

If things are horrible, it's the nail in the coffin. Maybe this weekend will turn it around.

 

You're already breaking up with her, don't ruin her valentine's day and vacation. She won't even have work to distract her and will feel like a fool when all her friends ask "I thought you were going on a trip with your boyfriend?".

Yes, this is good advice. It would be unfair to spoil her weekend - and see if you can reignite things.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That would be devastating to break her heart before Valentine's Day all by itself...but when a trip was planned...oh my...I can't imagine the hurt that would cause.

 

I agree, go on the trip and see how it goes. Maybe you two can talk things over and work things out..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You should break up with her as soon as possible. Maybe cancel the Valentine's Trip, and go out with her on Valentine's Day just to dinner with her as a friend so she doesn't feel lonely on the day.

 

Or if there is somebody else you want to spend Valentine's Day with, then when you have a talk with her tonight, give your girlfriend her gifts before breaking up with her. That way she will know she is still special to you. Make sure you tell her how special she is to you as a friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You should break up with her as soon as possible. Maybe cancel the Valentine's Trip, and go out with her on Valentine's Day just to dinner with her as a friend so she doesn't feel lonely on the day.

 

Or if there is somebody else you want to spend Valentine's Day with, then when you have a talk with her tonight, give your girlfriend her gifts before breaking up with her. That way she will know she is still special to you. Make sure you tell her how special she is to you as a friend.

 

Don't bother with a pity date. It'll hurt worse.

 

And don't spend Valentine's day with another girl! ouch. salt in the wound. Make sure to spit in her eye while you're at it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the break up is due to religious and cultural outlooks that we don't share, i dont know if there is anything that can really be fixed, just maybe more under the rug which would elongate the pain

 

I'm really not interested in women right now so i don't care for another date. Id really just be single and hang with my guy friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Quote:

Originally Posted by useruser

You should break up with her as soon as possible. Maybe cancel the Valentine's Trip, and go out with her on Valentine's Day just to dinner with her as a friend so she doesn't feel lonely on the day.

 

Or if there is somebody else you want to spend Valentine's Day with, then when you have a talk with her tonight, give your girlfriend her gifts before breaking up with her. That way she will know she is still special to you. Make sure you tell her how special she is to you as a friend.

 

 

Cognitive Canine said: Don't bother with a pity date. It'll hurt worse.

 

And don't spend Valentine's day with another girl! ouch. salt in the wound. Make sure to spit in her eye while you're at it.

 

 

 

Haha it would be a pity date wouldn't it. I guess everyone is different. I would at least want a pity date than to spend the day alone if I was in the girlfriend's position. Someone mentioned that she might be embarrassed infront of her friends if they ask her why she wasn't going on the trip, so I suggested a pity date.

 

I have a feeling that gvision wants to spend Valentine's Day with someone else which is making him have second thoughts about his girlfriend. I could be wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ummmm i just said there is no one else in my life...

 

 

We have been through alot. I really do care for her. I just dont see it working and it breaks my heart, honestly.

 

I'm just not passionate about her anymore. I'm just leading her on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ummmm i just said there is no one else in my life...

 

 

We have been through alot. I really do care for her. I just dont see it working and it breaks my heart, honestly.

 

I'm just not passionate about her anymore. I'm just leading her on.

 

My bad. I didn't see that post.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

the break up is due to religious and cultural outlooks that we don't share, i dont know if there is anything that can really be fixed, just maybe more under the rug which would elongate the pain

 

I'm really not interested in women right now so i don't care for another date. Id really just be single and hang with my guy friends.

 

Some things you just can't change.

 

These are two things that are pretty difficult to compromise on. Have you talked about this and tried to make these things work?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ummmm i just said there is no one else in my life...

 

 

We have been through alot. I really do care for her. I just dont see it working and it breaks my heart, honestly.

 

I'm just not passionate about her anymore. I'm just leading her on.

 

Then you should do what is right for you and her in the long run.

 

Soon. Do you want to keep leading her on?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your replies, much appreciated.

 

I don't want to keep leading her on. I just feel so bad though.

She doesn't have any friends right now, like seriously 0. Her family and her don't get along.

And now the only person she does have in her life is about to abandon her

"Is she going to be okay?" , is all i keep thinking

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ummmm i just said there is no one else in my life...

 

 

We have been through alot. I really do care for her. I just dont see it working and it breaks my heart, honestly.

 

I'm just not passionate about her anymore. I'm just leading her on.

 

You will only be leading her on more if you go to the trip with her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would seriously hate it, if I was her, if you went on the trip and then you break up afterwards! If these kind of holidays are important to a person, they tend to interpret a trip together as a sign that 'all is well'. Finding out afterwards that you only put on a front would devastate me even more.

 

If you are sure about your decision then tell her as soon as possible, she then has a few days time to absorb the shock, maybe take time to talk things through with you and to compose herself somewhat before she has to go back to work.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your replies, much appreciated.

 

I don't want to keep leading her on. I just feel so bad though.

She doesn't have any friends right now, like seriously 0. Her family and her don't get along.

And now the only person she does have in her life is about to abandon her

"Is she going to be okay?" , is all i keep thinking

 

I know you feel like it is, but it isn't your responsibility to make her happy. You'll be doing much more good by her by being honest with her than living a lie.

 

Breaks up are always hard. Make them a little less hard by waiting until after this weekend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your replies, much appreciated.

 

I don't want to keep leading her on. I just feel so bad though.

She doesn't have any friends right now, like seriously 0. Her family and her don't get along.

And now the only person she does have in her life is about to abandon her

"Is she going to be okay?" , is all i keep thinking

 

Breaking up with her doesn't have to be abandoning her as a friend.

 

You can still be there for her as a friend.

 

You will only hurt her more by leading her on. She will thank your honesty eventually. If you are dishonest with her, she won't even consider you as a friend.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would seriously hate it, if I was her, if you went on the trip and then you break up afterwards! If these kind of holidays are important to a person, they tend to interpret a trip together as a sign that 'all is well'. Finding out afterwards that you only put on a front would devastate me even more.

 

If you are sure about your decision then tell her as soon as possible, she then has a few days time to absorb the shock, maybe take time to talk things through with you and to compose herself somewhat before she has to go back to work.

 

I absolutely agree with this person.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is the Friday of the weekend of the trip... a bit last minute to dump someone. If you were having that many doubts why did you not do it sooner. Are you sure you can't salvage this? The issues are rather vague...not quite sure what you mean by religious and cultural outlook...weren't those difference there right from the beginning? What has changed that they have suddenly now become insurmountable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Id go on the vacation, just enjoy your last weekend with her...It will be fine just have fun show her a good time, then if you have your heart set on breaking up with her then do it next weekend.

 

Being her friend at all will not help...that would lead me on if my ex wanted to be my friend...so thats not an option....Pitty date idea is ridiculous.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Breaking up with her doesn't have to be abandoning her as a friend.

 

You can still be there for her as a friend.

 

You will only hurt her more by leading her on. She will thank your honesty eventually. If you are dishonest with her, she won't even consider you as a friend.

 

How is this not miss leading??

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is the Friday of the weekend of the trip... a bit last minute to dump someone. If you were having that many doubts why did you not do it sooner. Are you sure you can't salvage this? The issues are rather vague...not quite sure what you mean by religious and cultural outlook...weren't those difference there right from the beginning? What has changed that they have suddenly now become insurmountable.

 

She thought she could adjust to my religious views and cultural perspectives. About 1 year ago i tried breaking it off, and she convinced me that she could adjust. But she has been just too rebellious to them.

 

I held on to the hope that I could accept her eventually and that she would change. but i have not accepted her fully for who she is.

 

Since that talk one year ago, its been nothing but trying to salvage it. The relationship is not really healthy anymore. I still love her. But i dont think i can give up on my belief system, im very much stubborn and in place with that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Pitty date idea is ridiculous

 

Not as bad as a pity trip!

 

But that's just me, I rather have the truth out as soon as possible, no matter if there was a trip planned, or it is a holiday.

 

There are so many threads where someone agonizes about the fact that just before the breakup the SO did something 'so sweet', 'so meaningful', was 'so romantic'...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...