Jump to content

An update... Things appear to be going very well!


Recommended Posts

So... My story has been really crazy and I have other threads on background info... but I'll start last month.


- 4 year relationship, she broke up with me last August

- She came back in October (dumped her rebound) and we dated for October/November until I kind of called things off because it was so stressful and confusing. She wasn't totally committed to anything. She was still confused and said she was still hurt from the breakup... that it took her breaking up with me for me to change (I had developed some bad habits). In September, I started seeing a therapist (anxiety problem), working on gaining weight (personal goal, I'm super skinny, haha), being more responsible, and learning how to cook (personal goal).

- Went NC for most of December, until the end. She initiated most of the contact.


About a month ago, she asked me if I wanted to go to lunch in a few days out of the blue through text. The day before we went I asked if she wanted to go see a movie afterwards and she said yes. The morning that we went to lunch, she said that she wanted to take a nap after lunch with me and I agreed. So after our nap, we just laid there, cuddled, and talked about random stuff. Well, she did a lot of the talking. Not talking about our relationship, except for the fact that she said she obviously likes me, but volunteering lots of information about what is going on in her life. Basically, the gist of it was that she doesn't want to be in a relationship until she graduates which is in DECEMBER. She said she needs to just focus on graduating college for now.


The next two weeks, I was in a different state on business and her contact picked up. I never initiated anything. She texted me a lot and would call me every night and we'd talk a while. She wanted me to come back and asked me to come over and watch a movie with her when I got back. So, when I got back, it ended up that we were getting really bad snow on the night we planned to watch a movie. She told me to bring some clothes in case I got snowed in over at her place... Basically, wanting me to be snowed in with her. Well, I did get snowed in at her place and stayed there that Friday night through Sunday afternoon. It was really nice.


Still guarding myself, I still never initiated contact after that. We'd go little gaps of not talking until she texted me or something. A few days ago, she said that I never text her first anymore and so I initiated it some.


She'd text me here and there the next week after and then just recently, she texted that she missed me and wanted to see me. I told her I was really tired, but she doesn't live far away, so I went over and slept over there last night. She was really affectionate. When we went to sleep, we were really affectionate again. She then said that she loves me and she's said it a few times now. But I was really taken back by it because I didn't expect it at all. I had always not been saying it up until now, since I had said it when tried dating again in October and she was still confused then... and it probably didn't help things.


We were super affectionate and she says that she's in love with me. She wants to do all of this stuff with me now, suggesting things that we need to do. I had asked her to go to dinner with me on Valentine's Day when we were snowed in 2 weeks ago and she's excited about it (I won't tell her what we're doing or where we're going). I was going to make some chocolate covered strawberries because she liked those when we went on a cruise last year and was going to make her a card (nothing super gag-a-rific). She invited me to a concert a month ago that happens 3 months away. I also asked her to go to a concert which is next week (birthday present) that she is really excited about,


Really, I did not see this coming! I'm still going to be a little guarded this time, but I'm liking going slow and just seeing what happens... She saw her therapist after we grabbed some lunch yesterday (that she suggested) and she told me last night that her therapist told her that she was lucky to have me around. She said that she agreed. She told me twice yesterday that she was lucky. I know she said she didn't want a relationship now (said a few weeks ago), but with the way things are going, I don't see how they cannot develop into something? ... guarding myself until some time passes ...


Any opinions on this? I'm just going to still hold back a little and let her kind of be the lead for now... I put all the effort in before, but last night was totally unexpected! Long post! I hope someone made it this far.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just a little update about our Valentine's Day date...


I went into the Valentine's Day dinner kind of guarded still, but everything went really well. It's the evening on the 15th and I just dropped her off...


She's really acting like she is really into me again and it's so nice. She's getting excited about small things, suggesting things we need to do, making little jokes about me and other girls (a lot, which makes me wonder if she is concerned that she could lose me, possibly since I backed off a lot???), etc... We're acting like a couple, but she's just kind of walking the line right now... she wants to take things slow before she commits to "dating" or "in a relationship", although we will definitely keep seeing each other. She wants to see me a lot now, it seems, even with her busy semester.


I made her chocolate covered strawberries (with faces on them) and made her a card with two strawberries (smiling) it. She was really surprised and loved it. She also got me a gift -- some candy and a card. The card had a message written into it saying that I'm not only her best friend, but that I mean everything to her. That I'm amazing and have always been there through good/bad times with her, and that she loves me. I really liked her message. I surprised her by going to one of our fave restaurants that we haven't been to in a while. They even gave us free stuff to take home afterwards (a nice addition!).


She went to a chiropractor appt with me (one she introduced me to, who knew we broke up, so was probably extremely confused today, haha). She kind of said something about dating, and then I kind of asked, would you want to date me? And she said "maybeee..." smiling and I said "so, that's a yes?", jokingly and she said she just want to move slow for now and I said that's cool. Everything seems so great. I guess we'll just continue seeing each other and go on dates here and there, but not "dating"? Too many differentiations, I suppose?


We go to a concert on Wednesday.


This is the most affectionate I have seen her be in like the past 7-8 months (we broke up like 6 months ago).... With so much reassurance and her complimenting me so much, suggesting things in the future, making little hints about "us"... I don't worry so much about other guys and her anymore... but I guess have to be a little guarded until she commits to something. Will just go with the flow and see what happens.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't feel weird for keeping your guard up. Its natural. You'll know when to take it down... Trust me. Keep doing what you are doing. Your a model example for those who get back together. My advice is that she definitely sees something in you... DON'T MESS THAT UP! She is in to you. The hardest part is over my man. Just have patience and a good sense of awareness and you two will be together in no time.


On the contrary: If she starts backing off, Don't exhibit those behaviors that fizzled the relationship in the first place. She might do it to test the waters.... Be careful on how you handle things if this happens. Be confident but not cocky, getting worried is one thing, but don't obsess. (This probably won't happen and it looks like your on the road to success)


Treat her right my man and she will see you till the end!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...