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How has NC helped you?


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I'm creating this thread, not for myself really, but as something to read for the ones who are struggling with deciding to keep in contact with their ex's or to go NC.

 

How would you say NC has helped you to move on and begin to heal compared to having contact with your ex?

 

For me, it helped me regain control of my life. It helped me see the bigger picture and eventually after 4 months, I did start to feel better again. Being in contact just made it a lot worse. I would analyse what he would say, looking for hope constantly in his messages, but it would also drive me insane. I think being in contact keeps you glued to the spot.

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Well, I've only had limited amounts of NC so far, and as much as I hated the prospect of it, I could see it's benefits. It certainly does allow you to step back from the emotions and evaluate things from afar because not hearing the voice, or reading the emails or seeing the face helps the mind to reduce, for a little while, the feelings of nostalgia and attraction. But it is a cylical thing. After a while you have waves of depression as you realise you probably won't see your loved one again. That's hard.

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How has NC helped?

 

Just like ElChup, Ive only had spurts of NC. Longest I think I went was 12 days. It is usually during the NC periods that I get a chance to get myself together. I also get a chance to somehow 'forgive' the ex for leaving me, although she hasn't done anything she needs to apologize for. It is easier for me to tell myself 'Well, this is all a part of life' while I am in No Contact. Contact does soothe my anxiousness to hear from her, but because it is not very extensive, I stay longing for more contact and that is a huge setback.

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when i did keep in touch with my ex he kept me on the crazy train. i truly believe my ex is a sociopath.

 

i cut contact for my own peace of mind. even though it still took awhile to get over him, my mind was most at rest when i wasn't talking to him. he went crazy when he lost that control. i ended up having to block him from my phone and emails. i would have stayed in a really bad place emotionally had i not went NC. he was very manipulative and made a lot of empty promises that i held onto for a long time. when he wasn't promising his undying love, or that he was coming back, he was lying about something or telling me about his weekend rendevous. i feel for anyone who has the extreme misfortune of crossing his path.

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I am not sure how NC has helped me yet. I have been on NIC for 3 weeks (she called after a week for closure convo to say she agreed we need nc) so its been about 2 weeks NC...

 

I had some good days.. some bad days.. but the last few days I feel like I've been back sliding and am not doing that great. I feel like I am losing her and she is forgetting me (I already lost her actually) and that I am giving up. At the same time though, I know there is no chance for reconciliation right now. So I just gotta go along with it and do my best to get better. It sucks. I wonder if I gave up too soon. I wonder if she's already healed and not thinking about me anymore. We were together 2 and a half years and I was her first love... so i guess she hasn't forgotten me yet. She stressed wanting to heal properly so that we can go into the friendzone eventually... not sure how that's going to work.

 

I like the idea of NC but it's also a harsh reality of seeing that it is completely over and done and I'll never have her again.

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Hey there.

No conact made everything easier for me.

I was able to get on with my life. After a while I stopped wondering what he was doing and I stopped caring who he was with. In the end I just didn't want to know and I moved on focusing on myself. It helped me to move on. It is just the best way to end things. Stay far away, at least for a while.

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It made me stop missing him after a while. It was hard until I got to that point, but now I don't miss him desperately like before...time helped with that as well, but if I kept having contact I would still be missing him a LOT.

 

It helped see things from a different perspective, it helped think more clearly and allowed me to analyze the situation better. It was the right thing to do and I wouldn't have done it differently.

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