What is it with all of these 'news' about infidelity?

[friendly_fairy]

Hey all,

 

It may sound strange, but I am suspecting a mass media conspiracy as far as the infidelity issue is concerned.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven't you noticed all of these articles, ads, heck, even 'news reports' promoting the idea that pretty much every man cheats, that our society is changing towards accepting polyamory (open relationships, mostly involving one guy and multiple girls) as the new norm and that monogamy is on its way out forever?

Sounds shocking - I know. But, seeing it everywhere, and quite frankly being really annoyed by it because it has caused me to even question my own relationship (I was never so easily influenced before), leads me to believe that there is a group of people out there that benefits financially from millions of fearsome women clicking on these links (just think of the sheer power of jealousy).

For the past year or two I've been bombarded with articles like '7 Signs He Cheats' where the seven signs are just common behavior that anyone can exhibit, even if they never cheat. And quite frankly, I'm sick of it.

What if all of those 'statistics' were fabricated for the sake of money?

 

Believe me, I have never been a conspiracy nut. But I am curious about what all of you think about this. Guys and girls.

 

Because if you think it's true, it's about high time to boycott those people.

[brett5673]

it is true. It seems like it could be. There are so many peole that can profit from divorces as well btw. sometimes its just ridiculous or far fetched thinking but you never know. The sad truth is people will do anything for money no matter how destructive it is. the fact of the matter is, there are great marriages all over the place.

[thejigsup]

It's nothing new. Cheating is very real. It has always been that way. People are just more open about it now. I have seldom met a man who doesn't cheat. It's almost part of most (not all) men's nature. Now women are doing the same thing. I don't cheat and I never will. I don't know if my bf cheats, I just kind of expect that my man either has or does. It doesn't bother me at my age, I accepted reality a long time ago. Now, if he hits me or insults me, I'm outta there! That I won't put up with!

[jenny_mcs]

Well, for one thing I think the media loves to make us fearful. Have you ever watched your local news? "The food you eat could be KILLING YOU!!!! More after the commercial break!!!!" The filmmaker Michael Moore talks about this in one of his movies- "Bowling for Columbine". It's an endless cycle of fear/consumption. Make the populace fearful about something, anything and then they will buy more things to protect themselves.

 

For example I live in LA. The government recently released a report saying we have the cleanest drinking water of any major city in the US. It was barely a blurb in the major newspapers. But the local news constantly runs reports about the hazards in water. Result? People buy expensive filtration systems, Brita filters, etc.

 

Of course a "woman's" magazine is going to have constant articles about cheating. Look at their revenue source---the "beauty" industry. They would love women to be in a constant state of panic about their man cheating on them- this will increase sales of every lotion, potion, make-up, lingerie article that advertises in them.

 

Some people are going to cheat on their partners- this has been going on forever. But stopping consuming mass media and concentrate on your relationship, and you will be a lot less paranoid, and a lot less fearful.

[thejigsup]

Why panic about it? It's just life. Even my brother (deacon in his church, leads all the Bible studies, loves the Lord) cheated. My dad cheated, all my best friends' husbands cheat, most of my boyfriends and my ex husband have cheated, my best friend's dad cheated, so did another friend's father. It's epidemic. Women cheat also. I'm not denying that. Just not as prevalent with the ladies.

[handsdown]

Why panic about it? It's just life. Even my brother (deacon in his church, leads all the Bible studies, loves the Lord) cheated. My dad cheated, all my best friends' husbands cheat, most of my boyfriends and my ex husband have cheated, my best friend's dad cheated, so did another friend's father. It's epidemic. Women cheat also. I'm not denying that. Just not as prevalent with the ladies.

 

I think that accusation is pretty unfair to men who have integrity and don't cheat. My parents have been married almost 40 years and my dad has never cheated on my mother. As far as I know, I've never been cheated on either. Many of my male friends have never cheated and I certainly don't notice a difference between women and men as far as cheating, I have known equally prolific 'cheaters' occupying both sexes!

 

I'm not sure if monogamy is on the way out, I think, like others have said, people are just more open in regards to talking about cheating so we hear about it more often.

 

It's up to the person in the relationship how they behave, I don't have any issues when it comes to monogamy vs. polyamoury, as long as everyone is honest. Cheating behind someone's back is just so disrespectful. If you have the need to sleep with someone else, you should have the backbone to first discuss it with your partner who is under the impression you are monogamous. BUT hardly anyone actually does that, because people like to have their cake and eat it too.

[DN]

Cheating is an equal opportunity option. It just appears that women are either less likely to admit it and/or better at covering their tracks. But the number of people whose DNA proves that the man they think is their father actually isn't shows that women do cheat and always have.

 

And there are plenty of both men and women who don't.

[friendly_fairy]

There really are many men and women who don't. And I firmly believe that there are a lot more of them than any 'statistic' would make you believe.

 

I know plenty of honest men and women - of any nationality. But I come from Europe and I never even heard of all of this cheating and polyamoury (is that how you spell it?) hype until I came to the US. Why is that?

 

And just for the record, my dad and mom are in their mid 50's and have been dating since age 18. Not once has one of them cheated or even tried to. But my Grandmother, who seems to be the only person to ever cheat in my family, used to drive my mom nuts by putting ideas in her head about my dad cheating. Maybe people who have been cheated on or done some cheating themselves are just too happy to generalize so that they are not the only ones feeling the pain. Sounds mean, but it seems like a natural human behavior (let me say for the record - I was cheated on once in the course of 4 relationships and once narrowly avoided cheating myself).

 

My boyfriend and his 3 best friends, all of which male and in their mid-20's have never cheated and find it disgusting. They are all American and two out of this group (including my boyfriend) were cheated on in a previous relationship - and, in the case of my bf, were so shocked and heartbroken, they didn't date for years.

 

Come on. There need to be more positive cases out there. Let's hear them.

[Tazmo]

You know, sooner or later, people are going to start viewing things from my perspective.

 

I view relationships (Marriage include) as worthless wastes of time with nothing but heartbreak waiting for you.

 

Think about it. As a man, what do I have to look forward to in a marriage? First off, I am not a cheater, and never will be. I know this because I am true to myself. I'm selfish, because the pain of hurting someone else isn't what stops me, it's the absolute failing I would view myself as a person that does.

 

So, now a guy like myself gets married. We are together for 5 years. I discover she is cheating and file for divorce (over 50% of Marriages end in divorce, 80% of relationships have a cheater) what happens?

 

I lose my home. I lose my kids. My income gets raped.

 

Now, what did I do wrong? What outlandish sin did I commit to be cursed with such a fate?

 

I got married.

 

 

 

The time of loyal, trustworthy women is over. Love takes a backseat to lust. Commitment and honor to sex. Ergo, marriage, or a long term relationship which has to be built upon Trust, Love, Commitment and Honor, is destined to fail these days.

 

My recourse? Treat women like they wish to be treated. As a warm, wet place for me to sate my hunger for flesh, then to be discarded as garbage afterward.

 

Always double wrap though. You're effectively sticking your phalli in a sewage dump.

 

God.. My mother would absolutely beat me to death if she read this.

 

Love ya, Ma! Don't make 'em like you anymore

[absinthe]

The media knows that a combination of drama and sex, draws viewers which draws higher ratings, which subsequently draws higher advertising revenues, so they sensationalize anything that elicits strong, negative emotions in people.

 

Also, people who cheat appear to need A LOT of external validation. What better way to get it, than to normalize their dysfunction.

[absinthe]

Don't know what this poll will look like, once more people have responded but as at this moment, the media appear to be misrepresenting the vast numbers of people who cheat, at least in comparison to the ENA members. Hope this poll helps you in some way.

 

 

[Planet Heart]

It's epidemic. Women cheat also. I'm not denying that. Just not as prevalent with the ladies.

That's not true. Actually in most recent link removed women tend to cheat more then men. Time to face the music

 

 

According to the statistical data:

40% of women cheat in comparison with 34% of men

[friendly_fairy]

34% of men...well, will you look at that? Now, why is everybody acting like it's 84% again? Someone enlighten me, please.

[friendly_fairy]

@absinthe: Excellent point, btw.

[Miss Firecracker]

Women are better liars. I think that's because they grown up lying to each other all the time. Oh, you look sooooo pretty in that dress. lol

 

I am not a good liar, I'll tell you that much. That is for sure.

 

The news media is completely obsessed with cheaters, but it's because it's in demand.

[vonsalome]

C'mon Tazmo...if you're that worried about losing your house/income, just get a prenup drawn up that says "if she cheats, she does not get the house/one single penny."

 

Cheating hurts like no other, but I have to believe that there are still good people out there who will be trustworthy and faithful, and that committing to marriage and family with someone could result in a very happy, fulfilling life together.

[G-Snap]

Women are better liars. I think that's because they grown up lying to each other all the time. Oh, you look sooooo pretty in that dress. lol

 

I am not a good liar, I'll tell you that much. That is for sure.

 

The news media is completely obsessed with cheaters, but it's because it's in demand.

 

You are right. The media is obsessed with it, because it is in demand, and happening all around us. It's a sad fact.

[lavenderdove]

The media is obsessed with (and has a skewed view towards) war, disasters, scandals, anything to do with sex (sex sells!!). they're selling their service, and nobody wants to read about all the happy people home scrapbooking and baking cookies. Just not exciting, and the media is selling excitement.

[Planet Heart]

Cheating hurts like no other, but I have to believe that there are still good people out there who will be trustworthy and faithful, and that committing to marriage and family with someone could result in a very happy, fulfilling life together.

 

You are right. I know that most of the women that I've dated were unfaithful, but I still have to believe that one day I will find someone that believes in being faithful to a relationship. It's hard because life has taught me that most women aren't faithful (also backed by statistics) but I also know that all I need is ONE good woman, and I have to have faith that she is out there and I just haven't met her yet.

[Planet Heart]

nobody wants to read about all the happy people home scrapbooking and baking cookies.

 

They're watching the Food Channel