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If someone doesn't want to be with you, why do you want to be with him/her?


hexaemeron

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because sometimes the dumpee hopes that the dumper just made a rash decision and will change their minds.

 

Sometimes it does work though. When my ex first broke up with me, he did it as a nervous reaction to something. I gave him his space and let him be. A week later, he came back to me and asked me to forgive him and that he was hasty in his decision.

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Sometimes people say things they don't mean, especially in the heat of the moment.

 

Sometimes people realize they were wrong, or change their minds.

 

If you've been dumped, you don't want someone who wants nothing to do with you. You want the other version of the someone who left you, the one who loved you to the moon and back and wanted nothing more than to be with you, and you're hoping that the person who left you, whom you don't recognize, turns back into that person you know and love.

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I agree with what you're saying, but sometimes people have that belief that they can possibly change their minds into wanting to come back or that the other person will eventually change and see what they missed out on.

 

Only in Jennifer Aniston movies. Hollywood has screwed with people's minds way too much.

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Only in Jennifer Aniston movies. Hollywood has screwed with people's minds way too much.

 

I agree, a majority of the time this isn't the case, but there has been rare occasions that it actually worked out in the end.

 

However, I still agree with your first statement - why bother to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? I've used this same motto when I've dealt with ex'es who didn't want to be with me.

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Only in Jennifer Aniston movies. Hollywood has screwed with people's minds way too much.

 

It happened to me.

 

My boyfriend broke up with me because of the distance. Then we got back together once he realized that he'd rather be in a long distance relationship with me than a regular distance relationship with anyone else.

 

I got to test out other guys too and to see what was up with the single crowd. It got rid of my grass is greener syndrome that was slowly developing.

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Sometimes you like traits about a person that are independent of whether or not they are interested in you. Maybe you want to be with them because you like being around them--they make you laugh, they amuse you with their wit and charm, they teach you things or learn things from you...

 

If we only liked people who liked us, that would make us re-active, not pro-active, right?

 

But no, I understand what you are saying, hex. I wouldn't like someone for very long who didn't like me (but missing them for what we once shared...yes).

 

I have to say, though, there have been people I didn't like at first (who liked me) who ended up winning me over in the end. They could have not liked me because I didn't like them, but they liked me anyway, and I came around! This has happened at least twice.

 

The first time, a co-worker liked me but I was snobby and didn't see anything about him I liked. As I got to know him though, I discovered that I completely stereoptyped him. He continued to be nice to me and I came around and realized who he really was. If he would have decided not to like me because I didn't like him, we would have never become friends and later, dated.

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Or this quote -

 

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."

 

That ones better...

 

YOU WIN!! HAHA..

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To the OP:

 

Things aren't always so black and white as to be that they either want to be with you or they do not. In most cases after a long term relationship, they still want to be with you but there are certain things that need to be different.

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I see people saying they want to use NC to manipulate a situation so someone will come back.

 

...but why would you want someone who wants nothing to do with you?

 

Wow, such wonderful answers in this thread.

 

Maybe being around the person makes you happy, even if it isn't mutual. Unfortunately, life is often like that.

 

And as other posters have said, you don't want to be with someone who wants nothing to do with you--rather, you want them to want something to do with you.

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What are your thoughts on the quote

 

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was."

 

One of my most hated sayings. Plenty of people love someone and get to keep them without having to go through that.

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