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Has anyone come to the realization


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that they were Just With the Wrong Girl/Guy? Or maybe the right one to

help you through a particular stage in life ? My ex was/is soooooo

uptight....I am the opposite...She also structures her life in such a severe

way...that there's hardly any room for spontanaity...

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Its easy to criticize the ex now that its over,right? Do you remember a time where you would defend all of an ex's issues and personality flaws? LOL!

 

But yes I can see where you are coming from. Ive had that thought plenty of times. But it comes in the acceptance stage of a breakup. I think alot about my 1st serious girlfriend and how horribly different we were. I think our relationship was a result of me just not being able to be her friend with such an attraction to her. It got me through the stage in my life where I was head over heels for her.

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Part of the reason my ex and I broke up was we just weren't right for each other.

 

I'm not a party girl. I like to go out sometimes, but there was no compromise - if we went out, he'd always get very drunk, swear we could go home by 11:30 because we had work the next day, but come the time to go he'd be ignoring me and dancing drunkenly with his mates, or doing shots. I always, always got angry that he never thought about how tired I was sometimes or how bored - it was always about what he wanted to do, and he wanted to stay out.

 

At the time, I defended him. I knew I was angry, but I didn't want other people to think we didn't have a perfect relationship. But looking back, all the excuses I ever had to make to other people did show how unsuited we were.

 

But like you say about being 'the right one' for a certain stage, if I'd never met him I wouldn't be as confident as I am now. He's very self-confident to the point of arrogance, and as a result I had to stand up for myself sometimes.

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Yep, I believe that was the case with my recent ex. He is a great man in sooo many ways, we got along very well but we were clearly not meant for each other. The right woman for him will be very lucky!

 

The trick is to see what their contribution was in your life, appreciate it and move on.

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Yes im feeling that now! as i was married and now going through the process of divorce...in the end i think i will be a better person in the end after this and will some day love someone. with all my heart again..

 

The good thing for me. that i can get my life back on track and get on in my life..she is getting on in her life....and found out she is engaged!!!!! know but she dosent know that i know..probably as it would hurt my feelings..so perhaps part of her cares! she called me tonight and appoligised for being cold when she called. it was a nice and civil call...better than being angry and nasty!!! i wont get back with her as i feel things have moved on too far!

 

yeah! i do feel sad. that naturally will happen. im not crying anymore!!

 

said i will always say hello. as she did! probably change in the future if i meet someone special. out of respect for my new partner!! at least i will have control...it my choice at the end of the day!

 

but for me now i feel my life is going to get better!

 

someone once said it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all!!

 

i believe that now!!!

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I'm undecided.

Some aspects of our relationship were very stressful and I felt we were ill matched.

We sat in and played video games and watched TV, I felt fed up and as though it was all we did. (Although looking back, it wasn't. We had a lot of fun, even sitting in and playing games we had a lot of fun.)

Thing is doing this was his escape route from his problems, if he wasn't depressed I don't think he would do it to the extent he does. Also; I don't mind hanging out like that, I just thought we did it too much AND we were in a bit of a love-bubble and I rarely spent time with people other than him. When we did go out as a group I always enjoyed it. Also; playing video games and watching TV is what I do with most of my friends most of the time now. I think I had unrealistic expectations.

 

I guess I don't know, I'm too inexperienced to say for sure.

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Part of me feels that way about my current ex. We were like total opposites in a lot of different ways. I'm an introvert in every sense of the word and the ex a total social butterfly. She never quite understood why I never wanted to hang out with her friends...ummm they're loud, obnoxious, rude...and meaningless chit chat bores me to tears...

 

Then again we never did try to see things from each others point of view and that still bugs me to this day somehow...

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