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Bottling up the tears


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Nearly four months on and I find that I do not cry nearly as much, I do not dream about her as much, think more logically about the break up and the days seem ever so slightly more manageable than they were before.

 

However, I find I now go through boughts of severe depression, during which times it feels like I should be able to cry to let out all of the emotions, but I no longer can. It's as if the free flowing tears have been switched off.

 

Anyone else have this problem?

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Elchup,

Unfortunately I went throught it (for long).

 

I stopped crying enormous amounts soon after the breakup (maybe a couple of months) but the feeling of sadness lingered long. I just felt that she didn't see my problems and didn't see how beautiful our relationship could have been and plus just feel angry, depressed and sad that she moved on so quickly (or maybe even left me for someone)...

 

This phase I think is more difficult than the crying phase

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It seems like a lot of us are experiencing the same stuff right now. I'm pretty much in the same spot right now. Things are better, but sadness still seeps back in once in a while and I've found I don't always cry either. Then i feel worse because with the way I feel and the fact I miss and do still care about my ex, I should be crying. It's a * * * * ed up feeling.

 

If you allow yourself to think about it long and hard enough you'll get the tears flowing I'm sure. Don't do it though. When you stop to think you're not crying, tell yourself to think about something else entirely.

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I would take your lack of tears as a good sign of healing. You may have come to a point where you are just physically exhausted from expending energy into feeling depressed. Your emotional state might still be behind, but it will catch up and be in sync with your physical feelings.

 

LOL! I dont know if that explanation has any logic to it. I would take the lack of crying as a good thing though. Convince yourself that you dont cry because you are getting over her. Take advantage of the fact that your days are getting easier and channel some of your newfound energy into something that can possibly help your emotional state. I think you are off to a good start on recovery.

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I think I'm healing in some ways and not in others. I find it difficult sometimes to come to terms with the fact that she's not there anymore, but I think logical acceptance is beginning to sink in. Pity that's not the case with the sexual attraction (see my other thread).

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Maybe it's your body's way of telling you that enough is enough? You are finally coming to terms that your relationship has ended, and you want to start healing?

 

I know it sounds cliche, but in time things will eventually get better. You just have to keep telling yourself this. You will come out so much stronger in the end.

 

Hang in there.

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