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Having lunch with the ex tomorrow


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A lot of you are probably aware of my situation, if not, feel free to read the threads I started.


Well, I did something out of the blue and unplanned today. I was out walking on my lunch break and I was like " I'm calling him, I'm sick of all these post break up rules I've been following" (although they've been helpful)


We had a nice quick chat, then I jumped right in and said "want to meet up for a quick lunch tomorrow?" and he happily agreed.


It was just such an impulse thing to do, at least it turned out well in the end.


I will be in a good mood because things have picked up for me lately and I'm feeling like I've made some progress with my own personal issues, hopefully he can see this. I just hope I'm not too nervous, need to keep it light and chatty...


Gee I hope I haven't made a mistake... it's been 6.5 weeks since we broke up and 6 weeks of me not contacting him (also with a little LC of him contacting me via facebook)


I'm not doing this in the hopes of us instantly reconciling, I guess I just want to be a small part of his life, be in a corner of his mind, showing him my progress without trying too hard.


Blah blah blah

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How exciting! 6 weeks is a long time not to see the one you still love. I would be so thrilled to be able to see mine. Good luck!


I've seen him twice though in large social circumstances. The first time went really well, seemed like "something was there".


Then the second time he was awkward and moody...


So who knows how this will go!

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So, it went well. We organized for it to only be half an hour, turned in to an hour without realizing. Mostly just friendly chat, catching up etc etc. He seems like he has a bit of a guard up though, if you know what I mean? I guess it's only natural.


Good thing though, we were talking about my new job and he said "you seem really happy". So it's great that he's taken in the fact that I'm living my life and that it shows.


He also kept going on about how he has no plans for the weekend. The first time he goes "I have like, nothing to do this weekend" so I said he was welcome to come to drinks and dinner with me and a few friends that very night (guy friends, wasn't a girl night) but he said no, it's ok, he will just have a quiet one.


Then later again he said "yeah..so I have nothing planned for Saturday" and I would have just loved to say, let's do something!! But I didn't, because I had plans already and also didn't want to appear too available. So I just left it at that and said something like, I'm sure you will find something to do. It seems like he was hinting or waiting for me to ask, but I feel like seeing I already called and asked him to lunch, it would be a bit too much for me to suggest meeting up again so soon.


So I will be seeing him again next Saturday at a mutual friend's birthday. I've been thinking, but please be honest if you think it's jumping the gun.....


But I've been thinking of taking him out next Friday night as a late birthday treat (his birthday was last month during a NC/LC where I just posted him a card). Just giving him a call and saying "I know your birthday was a month ago but I thought it would be fun to go and have some dinner and then play laser tag after, my treat?"


Is this too soon? I saw him yesterday for lunch. It would mean leaving it a week until seeing him again. I would otherwise wait until 2 weekends away, but he's going away on that weekend and am not sure I want to wait 3 weekends...

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Thanks for your advice. I'm in the 50/50 mindset as usual of yes, leave it up to him for now, or me showing him a good time (he seems a a little bit down, very busy with work and feeling distant from some of his friends)


If I did decide to invite him, it wouldn't be for another few days at least, so I don't have to decide just yet...

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argggh I still (and am currently) keep having urges to apologize for my behavior during our relationship. For being moody and angry at him for no good reason, for taking him for granted, for relying on him for happiness. I just want to call him and say this without gushing and getting emotional or making it seem like I'm begging...I simply want him to know.


*a few hours later, urge has decreased....sigh

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