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Messaging women via Online dating.. what to say?


glegend

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So I've decided to give online dating a try again.

 

In the past, I've never really been able to get a response from a girl. I've sent and sent many many messages and they have either been read and deleted, or straight up deleted.

 

So now I've found this girl and I like what I read and saw on here profile. I want to send her and message. However, I don't want to sent a corny message and get no response. I want to send something clever so to say, something that will be like "this guy is cool, let me send a message back".

 

So if I could get some samples of what I could write, it would be nice.

 

 

To give you guys a bit of a laugh, coincidentally, as I was looking through everyone who has greek/grk in their username I ended up finding one of my buddies on POF.

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I met my boyfriend on a site. He was successful because he avoided the clever cliches. He mentioned that like me, he was looking for "friends first". He noticed that I lived in a town that was on the route of a trail he hiked and pointed that out. He knew I had a dog from my profile and asked if I was up for a walk someday. It took me awhile to respond to him because of reasons that had nothing to do with his message - I was sorting through some things. Anyway, when I wrote him back we did lunch instead. And the rest is history.

 

What impressed me most is that he didn't want to chat online, but just cut to the chase. We had already agreed to meet and gave eachother our numbers to call to confirm the day before. The plan in his mind is that it was "just lunch" and if it worked out, great. If not, then we just had lunch and it was no biggie. We have been together ever since. Having lunch (on the weekend so no one is rushed) or meeting for ice cream is kind of a good ice breaker. I think too many guys ask a gal out for a romantic dinner right off the bat and that may sound nice, but its a little intimidating/too much pressure. I think an email or two back or forth is fine but the whole livechat thing - too much room for misinterpretation.

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do you have a picture of yourself on your profile? 2 things that instantly put me off are 1 if there's no picture and 2 if there statement is badly written.

 

 

I actually have to update my picture. When I tend to disappear from the sites for a while, I put a crappy picture of me where you can barley see my face. However, when I start using the site more and more I load up a picture. So with that being said, yes I have a picture and I will have a better picture before I message.

 

You mention is there statement is badly written. What do you mean by statement being badly written? Would you be referring to the one that would be next to the user name?

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Its good to hear a true success story. I`m happy to hear that. When I message I don`t say things like hey sexy. I introduce myself, mention that I read her profile and I would like to get to know you better. That doesn`t seem to work. Sometimes I notice somehting in their profile, like something they don`t like that I don`t like and I will be mention that. Doesn`t work.

 

However, how we communicate I don`t care. I just want to get that respnse email. Then take it from there. I really don`t want to rush into things, but I could rush.

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I actually have to update my picture. When I tend to disappear from the sites for a while, I put a crappy picture of me where you can barley see my face. However, when I start using the site more and more I load up a picture. So with that being said, yes I have a picture and I will have a better picture before I message.

 

You mention is there statement is badly written. What do you mean by statement being badly written? Would you be referring to the one that would be next to the user name?

 

To be honest, the picture is very very important. I would love to say that it isn't and people care about your personality, but this is a very specific situation.

 

If you're friends with someone or know someone already through work or mutual friends or whatever then personality does play a huge part because it has a chance to manifest itself.

 

However online dating is different. You're basically 'shopping' for a partner, almost like the way you would scroll through different items on ebay. When people are 'shopping' the visual image is the most influential, so try and put up a good picture.

 

I believe that anyone can have a good picture if the lighting and angle is right. A tip is to angle the camera down, never up, and artificial light is much more flattering than natural light.

 

By statement I mean the 'about me' box or whatever they call it on your site. And by badly written, I mean that if the person can't spell and can't string together a legible sentence then I will assume that they are a moron.

 

Avoid mentioning anything sexual because it will instantly make you sound like a sleaze. Say something that sounds sweet and genuine like 'I am very loyal and although I haven't found her yet, I am hoping that this site will lead me to the right girl.' Or if you're naturally funny and witty then definitely use that! If you're not then don't try.

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I`ve uploaded a pretty good pic of me. A few other ones too.

 

In my header I have looking for that greek girl.

 

In my description box I have this I'm different then anyone else you will meet in the world. I work hard really hard, way more then the next guy. I'm me, and thats all that I can be. I'm the decent caring guy that every girl ask where he is. I'm a really cool guy when you get to know me. I'm also a really funny guy, and everyone who hangs around with me agrees so. Its always a blast with me.

 

I'm looking for a nice, sweet and caring girl, preferably a greek girl. At the end of the day I'm looking for someone that I cannot only have a blast with but someone that really appreciates me for being me me.

 

I really suck at writing these descriptions. The best thing to do is just ask me like T.I's it's whatever you like.

 

Its not the greatest but I try.

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Its good to hear a true success story. I`m happy to hear that. When I message I don`t say things like hey sexy. I introduce myself, mention that I read her profile and I would like to get to know you better. That doesn`t seem to work. Sometimes I notice somehting in their profile, like something they don`t like that I don`t like and I will be mention that. Doesn`t work.

 

However, how we communicate I don`t care. I just want to get that respnse email. Then take it from there. I really don`t want to rush into things, but I could rush.

 

"I'd like to get to know you better" would not make me jump. To some guys, they mean they want to get to know me in an intimate way better. You can't get to know someone "better" if you don't know them at all. So I would dump that line and say things that make them think you really read their profile and are not just giving them a canned response you give all the girls.

 

 

WHAT NOT TO DO:

Hi sally,

I think you are interesting and want to get to know you better

 

 

WHAT TO DO:

"Hi Sally,

 

I noticed that your favorite book is "Green Eggs and Ham". I would be curious to know what you think of "Oh the Place You'll Go" as that is my favorite Suess work from his "later period."

 

I enjoy sailing at Sprocketsville shark marina like you do. It seems to be an out of the way place that no one seems to know about, so it made me smile to see another person who appreciates it.

 

Have a great day,

 

Joe-Bob

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Your response was pretty helpful abitbroken. I appreciate it.

 

Any insight as what to say to a girl who has this posted in her about me description.?

I'm into the girly stuff like shopping and the spa. But I don't mind trying new things. I like all kinds of music, and yes country is one of my favs.

 

Apart from music and hobbies, I'm looking for someone who is family oriented and who is true to themselves. If you want to get to know me a little bit better, feel free to send me a msg.

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