Help asap

[ben2010]

This is my first time on here and I really need help. Believed or not I have no friends to talk to about my feeling. My ex an I were living g in a 1 bedroom apartment for almost a year. We have some fights back and forth but recently she took off and never come back. She only come back to pick up her stuff. Now I'm staying by myself and I really miss her. I tried everything I can think of to talk her back but she is not coming back. She said she want to find the right Guy to get married and I'm not the one.

 

Its been a week and everyday I just can't sleep at all. I have to work an I'm trying to slept but I just can't and its even hard for me because I don't have friends to talk about this.

 

Can anyone guide me what to do to heal? I didn't know h

ow important she is to me till now. I beg her (guys usually have a big eagle) her to come back but she says sorry.

 

Please help

[Sukichan]

I'm really sorry that you don't have anyone whom you could talk to. Do you know what caused the breakup?

 

Here is what I think. Initially, you're going to feel like you just tripped and fell flat on your face, and don't know how to get back up. You need to keep yourself occupied to prevent any thoughts of her to enter your mind. You also need to start no contact, which is for you to heal. Since she won't be anywhere near you, you can focus on you, which is extremely important.

[ben2010]

Everyday when I come home I can't stop thinking about her. This is our apartment and there is not way for me to get her. I also brought a dog when we move in together. I figure this is our little home, but now I come home on the dog is here and she is not.

 

You guys probably going to say I'm crazy but since you guys don't know me in person I guess you will be the only one that know how I really feel. When we move in the next month we got in a big agurement and she called police on me. Long story short, I have a police record me for life (I'm still fighting for the case) but I don't care about those anymore I just want her back

 

I can't go out because I don't have any friends to go out with. I don't know how to met new friends or anything. Everywhere I go I go by myself and that does not help me at all.

 

If anyone have any great advise, please help... I really don't know what to do. Life sucks and don't know why I'm still here. I don't care about my eagle anymore. I cry like little girl.

[HopefulDrew]

Pretty much all of us know how you feel. You are heartbroken and lonely.

 

To start you need to explain to yourself why the breakup occurred. What was your part of it? Then decide if you liked the person that you were during and before the breakup. If not, are you willing to change who you were?

 

What you might notice about the above is that your ex (yes she is your ex now) is not mentioned. For the immediate future this needs to be about you. If you want her back you will have to take care of yourself. You can't do anything to get her to change her mind that will work for the long term. You can only take care of yourself and let her decide if she wants to be with you.

 

So as tough as it is, think about yourself. Find something to work on about you. Don't hold back your emotions. Feel free to pour them out here. Don't contact your ex right now. You need your space from her to heal.

[No1]

Help us help you. Why were you two fighting about? Why did she leave and be honest, if you made a mistake, its okay, we can help you out, but what was it for, why did she just all of a sudden up and leave? Girls just dont give up on one argument..

[ben2010]

Well honestly I really don't know why she left. We fight in the past (small fights ex. Her boss always boss her around and I'm pissed but she gets mad at me). Recently these few monthes I treat her real nice but the customers that goes to her store is trying to date her (more than 3 people dating her) so she decided she want to see what's out there. Our apartment lease is almost up(May 4th) and she find a place at her place an just moved out.

 

I really don't think she left because of The fights in The past I'm thinking she have more choices because more people dating her. She said she went out with other guys to pick the rift one and get marry. I don't know what to do....

[jony1234]

talk to co worker if you can sometimes they can help... most will have experience breakups and may be able to help you

 

my brother aslways told me girls come and go but his dog is always there... take your dog out for walks and stuff enjoy the dog.. girls like dogs cvould be a icebreaker if your walking past a girl.. she might stop and pet the dog...

[ben2010]

I'm always at work an I don't want my coworker to know what's going on. I having hard time just to take care of my dog. My dog and I just eats once a day now cause I onto feel like eating and he (dog) know something is going on too she he is not happy too. I know I'm slipping and my health will be bad but I can careless for that

[jony1234]

i hear ya man .. i am having a hard job eating... so today i just went and bought alot of junk food.. stuff that is easy to eat... got to keep your strength up.... i am scared to weigh myself.. i probably lost 10 pnds .... play with tthe dog make the dog happy... all i got is cats and they just sleep most of the time...

[ben2010]

I hate to admit this but originally I was looking for someone to take care of my dog butnow I decided to keep my dog because that is the only hope to trick my mind thinking s she will be back.

[jony1234]

keep the dog it will keep you company... she may be back she may not but the dogs is yours

[ben2010]

The only problem with the dog is I have to go back after work. I can't stay outside but if I go home my mind is acting crazy again and start thinking about her. O really need to move out I this place but I can't terminate the contract (pay too much for 3monthes)

[ben2010]

I know I need to keep myself occupied but I don't have any friends everywhere I go or do is myself. I was thinking of going to a bar but that spend too much money and wont work.

[jony1234]

go to bar and buy one beer and sip on it... i know its hard meeting friends.. mos tof my friends moved away.. or got girlfriends..

[ben2010]

Even after dropping tons of cash in a bar but I still want to contract her even I know. Shouldnt

[jony1234]

it though dude.. i miss my ex so bad but talkin to her jsut makes it worse..

[PennyLane09]

hang in there. you're in shock. try to focus on you and functioning at work and doing the things you have to do. if it's meant to be, she'll be back.

[ben2010]

I guess I should say it feels like I'm still in a dream. I really want to wake up swing her next to me. My mind keep thinking she will be back. I guess I just can't face this all of suddenshe just left...

[jony1234]

it tough dude... hang in there ... some days will be better then others...

[ben2010]

I don't think I can ever get her back. She have multiple people dating her. I just don't know. I think I need to lock myself down since I onto have any friend around me. The only only friend I have I my dog and its not helping cause everyone I interact with my dog it remind me of her. I'm having a biggest pain of my life.

[jony1234]

try to keep your mind occupied... it hard to do.. but it will get easier eventually..

[ben2010]

My mine keep changing. Now I can't face the fact there is multiple guys dating here.

[HopefulDrew]

Ben,

 

Now more than ever you need to learn to take care of yourself. You are not in the right mind to think about what she is doing and why. You are too hurt to try to understand her behavior. Thinking about her right now will just lead to more hurt.

 

So pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start thinking about how you are going to get back on your feet. Your dog needs you, so take care of him. He will be there for you no matter what, so you do the same for him. This isn't a short or easy process. So what would you like to change in your life?

[ben2010]

I know but I can't control myself. My mind automatically swtich over. I know I need to take care of myself and dog but I just don't know how to pick up myself and moving forward.

[HopefulDrew]

I know but I can't control myself. My mind automatically swtich over. I know I need to take care of myself and dog but I just don't know how to pick up myself and moving forward.

 

Congrats man, you have already started. Is there anything about yourself that you aren't happy with? Now is the best time to start working on it. Insecure, anxious, needy, controlling? Lazy, out of shape? Distant, unavailable? Think about it. Pick something. It can be small and seemingly insignificant, but you need something to work on.

 

Stay strong and you will move forward.