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Should I just ignore this??


princess5

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Hi guys some of you will be annoyed to see me back again but just looking for any opinions on this.

 

My bf gave me his old Phone cos he was upgrading. He didn't delete all of his texts before he gave it to me and I just saw one from his sister ad I was deleting them. It said "I'm confused as to why you have X holiday skin lotion with your stuff...I don't think I know you at all". I think she was dropping off some of his belongings to him at his house. Now I've never used this brand of lotion ever so I dunno why it would be amongst his stuff. He lives with 4 girls in the city where he works.

 

Should I bring this up with him or just let it go??

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Hi guys some of you will be annoyed to see me back again but just looking for any opinions on this.

 

My bf gave me his old Phone cos he was upgrading. He didn't delete all of his texts before he gave it to me and I just saw one from his sister ad I was deleting them. It said "I'm confused as to why you have X holiday skin lotion with your stuff...I don't think I know you at all". I think she was dropping off some of his belongings to him at his house. Now I've never used this brand of lotion ever so I dunno why it would be amongst his stuff. He lives with 4 girls in the city where he works.

 

Should I bring this up with him or just let it go??

 

***breaks self-rule again***

 

I just have to ask... Why?

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He lives with 4 girls in the city where he works.

 

I dont care how faithful he may be, this is just too much temptation (unless they're all his family). There may be an off chance that the lotion is one of the girls, but still he lives with 4 women...that's an issue.

 

Have you actually ever READ her threads? Her bf has never once ever done anything to remotely warrant the crippling and terrifying jealousy and paranoia she illustrates.

 

It's LOTION. It's not a condom or lipstick or a dental dam. What's next? "I FOUND HIM WITH LEMON PLEDGE. HE MUST BE CHEATING"

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For all you know, his sister could have just been trying to give him a hard time. When I see my brother in a long t shirt I would text him "nice dress." Doesn't mean he actually has a dress. Anyway, its just lotion. He could have gotten it as a free with purchase sample for all you know. I would stop fixating on the text and look at the big picture. He didn't delete his texts, so he has nothing to hide. He is giving you his old phone out of consideration as well. If you confront him you are sending him a clear message that a) you are insecure or b) you don't trust him. I would just let this one go.

 

if there is a bigger issue here that you are not addressing with him, that's another story, but I would let the lotion comment go.

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Have you actually ever READ her threads? Her bf has never once ever done anything to remotely warrant the crippling and terrifying jealous and paranoid she illustrates.

 

Haha I don't stalk people's threads... but anyway I'm just saying that it's weird that the OP's bf lives with 4 other women. It doesn't matter if he does anything overtly to cause jealously, its just the opportunity for a scandal is too possible. Not everyone finds out about everything, but you need to minimize risk.

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Have you actually ever READ her threads? Her bf has never once ever done anything to remotely warrant the crippling and terrifying jealous and paranoid she illustrates.

 

Haha I don't stalk people's threads... but anyway I'm just saying that it's weird that the OP's bf lives with 4 other women. It doesn't matter if he does anything overtly to cause jealously, its just the opportunity for a scandal is too possible. Not everyone finds out about everything, but you need to minimize risk.

 

How frail you people are.

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I don't understand why living with four female roommates is any more suspicous than living with one. If anything, I would think the reverse is true.

 

DN, I completely agree. Her bf has lived with these women since before the OP even came into the picture. She has said in every thread she's ever written her about her situation that he's never done one thing wrong, ever.

 

It's HER issue. Not his.

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I completely disagree with the living with girls issue. My ex and I were long distance and he lived with two girls. I never once questioned it or had an issue with it and I know he was completely faithful. It just comes down to trust. Each person has complete control over themselves so if they give into temptation, they will do it in any situation. Not just a living situation.

 

And to the OP, it's just lotion. Maybe HE uses lotion...guys use it too. Or it could be one of his roommate's things that got mixed in with his stuff. It's just lotion.

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I think your boyfriend has been very open and honest with you the whole time. He's more transparent than a lot of other bfs and he seems to love you a lot. If you want my advice, I would say that it's best to let it go.

 

... And if you happen to see him with a new aftershave, post here before assuming that he's cheating, ok?

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Ugh, let me edit this... I just don't think it's a good idea to turn the blind eye on these things.

 

You know what though? He could work with four women! EEEK. He could cheat on her!!!!! Let's all freak out. He could have four friends who are girls. EEEK. He could cheat on her!!!!!! Let's all freak out.

 

Or, he could have no friends who are girls, no girl work associates and he could STILL cheat on her.

 

It doesn't matter. At all. If he's a standup guy, that's the end of the discussion. And by the OP's OWN admission TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN, he's a standup guy. HER issue.

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You know what though? He could work with four women! EEEK. He could cheat on her!!!!! Let's all freak out. He could have four friends who are girls. EEEK. He could cheat on her!!!!!! Let's all freak out.

 

Or, he could have no friends who are girls, no girl work associates and he could STILL cheat on her.

 

It doesn't matter. At all. If he's a standup guy, that's the end of the discussion. And by the OP's OWN admission TIME AND TIME AND TIME AGAIN, he's a standup guy. HER issue.

 

 

Guys and girls can be friends. It's possible. If the OP's ex is a trustworthy guy, then yes, she has no reason to worry about the lotion.

 

But, I have dealt with horrible consequences with dating a guy who had mostly female friends, and I'm just trying to look at the OP's side of this situation.

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Guys and girls can be friends. It's possible. If the OP's ex is a trustworthy guy, then yes, she has no reason to worry about the lotion.

 

But, I have dealt with horrible consequences with dating a guy who had mostly female friends, and I'm just trying to look at the OP's side of this situation.

 

Read her threads, vert. She's not right.

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Read her threads, vert. She's not right.

 

M'kay so I read some of her threads and... sigh, you're right. Her boyfriend is such a sweet guy and has not given any reasons to the OP to get jealous or insecure.

 

OP, you might want to go get some counseling about this. I would understand if your guy outright flirted with these girls, snuck around behind your back, or did or said anything that indicated that another girl is more important than you... But so far, he has done nothing but been straight up with you.

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Why couldn't it be one of his roommates that gave it to him? Perfectly possible & logical.

 

I haven't followed your threads OP but have read what others who have, have said on this one, and I agree. Address your insecurities or you will end up sabotaging this relationship & losing it.

 

Also, how awful it must be to always be questioning & worrying. Give yourself some inner peace as well.

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Have you actually ever READ her threads? Her bf has never once ever done anything to remotely warrant the crippling and terrifying jealousy and paranoia she illustrates.

 

It's LOTION. It's not a condom or lipstick or a dental dam. What's next? "I FOUND HIM WITH LEMON PLEDGE. HE MUST BE CHEATING"

 

LOL agreed..

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Hex, I feel your frustration! lol.

 

OP: To your question: "Should I bring this up with him or just let it go??"

 

Let it go. Seriously, it's no big deal and it was a funny message from his sister. There's no point in making a mountain out of a molehill and making a big deal out of nothing. If he was trying to hide something from you, he wouldn't have given you his old phone which still had messages on it. Stop blowing things out of proportion.

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Guys thanks... Hex I was doing well for a while but had a little relapse lately. ilnow I have to let this go. FYI hex Iu may be surprised tokniw that sesite my insecurities, I've never once talked to my bf about this and in all the time we've been together we've never fought once

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Ok I change my mind.

 

I think you should totally confront him. Really let it out, yell at him, accuse him outright. Give him an ultimatum. Cry a lot. Go nuts with it.

 

That should certainly put an end to your misery.

 

Then you can finally move on to post on the "Healing after Break-up or Divorce" forum and make lots of threads about how heartbroken you are, cannot move on, and how unfair and horrible guys are.

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