Husband not sexually attracted to me

[lavenderdove]

The most frequent cause of these types of sudden and surprising 'i'm not attracted to you' revelations is that he IS attracted to someone new, and is in the first flush of hormonal rush to do with that (whether that person he is attracted to is another woman or another man).

 

He is comparing the new love hormones (that last only a year or two) against the 'mature' love (less exciting) feeling he has for you after being together 6 years, and tells himself (and you) 'i'm not attracted to you and never have been'... he's essentially rewriting history in his own head to justify how he's feeling now and his desire to be with someone else.

 

I suspect if he is also nixing the idea of a child now, he is thinking about leaving the marriage, and hence doesn't want a child wtih you. So you may need to prepare yourself for his next declaration, which is that he's leaving or wants a divorce.

 

The best thing you can do right now is insist on marriage counseling with him, to try to get to the bottom of this and perhaps turn the train around... but i'd also check around a bit and see if you can find out if he's cheating... because these types of declarations when sex has been fine in the past are almost universally stimulated by an attraction to another person, or an affair with another person.