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A few questions about online lingo


lostandhurt

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This may have been asked a jillion times already but here it goes again.

 

I MAY try online dating soon but have some questions.

 

Descriptions. Please define what these terms REALLY mean.

Body type:

1.Thin=

2.Average=

3.Athletic=

4.A few extra pounds=

 

Looking for:

1.Activity partner=

2.Dating=

3.Long term=

4.Friendship=

 

I don't get the long term thing. I assume most everyone wants long term but you have to just date first right?

I also was wondering if there is a way to tell if they are six kinds of crazy very early on.

I would appreciate any experienced advice you guys and girls might have.

 

Lost

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1.Thin= Thin.

2.Average= Anything from thin to chunky, depending on the woman's self-image.

3.Athletic= Exercises regularly, and expects you do to.

4.A few extra pounds= Anything from normal to morbidly obese, depending on the woman's self-image and how much she's willing to lie.

 

Looking for:

1.Activity partner= Dating, no sex.

2.Dating= Dating, sex is a possibility.

3.Long term= Dating, but looking for a husband.

4.Friendship= Dating, no sex.

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Descriptions. Please define what these terms REALLY mean.

 

Assuming this is America

 

Body type:

1.Thin= anorexic

2.Average= husky

3.Athletic= butch

4.A few extra pounds= behemoth

 

Looking for:

1.Activity partner= i actually hate men but society and my mom keeps insisting I have something to do with your gender. you pay hopefully

2.Dating= im broke, but still want to go out

3.Long term= i might want to trap you into marrying me

4.Friendship= i might want to date you, im not sure, let's hang out for a little longer than you would want in order for me to make up my mind. You pay.

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1.Thin= Thin.

2.Average= Anything from thin to chunky, depending on the woman's self-image.

3.Athletic= Exercises regularly, and expects you do to.

4.A few extra pounds= Anything from normal to morbidly obese, depending on the woman's self-image and how much she's willing to lie.

 

Looking for:

1.Activity partner= Dating, no sex.

2.Dating= Dating, sex is a possibility.

3.Long term= Dating, but looking for a husband.

4.Friendship= Dating, no sex.

 

I thought this was a no strings attached kinda thing? In my experience online, this category often were looking for threesomes or a wham bam thank you ma'am kinda deal

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Body type:

1.Thin= Skinny, below average weight, not necessarily toned.

2.Average= Not too thin, not too fat.

3.Athletic= Toned, muscled.

4.A few extra pounds= Chubby, chunky. There is sometimes an extra category for people who are obviously over 'a few pounds' as well.

 

Looking for:

1.Activity partner= Someone to do things with, no romance necessary.

2.Dating= To go on dates with, undecided as to seriousness.

3.Long term= To go on dates with the aim to meeting someone for a serious relationship.

4.Friendship= A friend, no romance necessary.

 

I don't get the long term thing. I assume most everyone wants long term but you have to just date first right? Some people genuinely just want to date around a bit and not settle down. I put dating when I did this because I wasn't in a rush to settle down, but I was open to the possibility. I gather most people will probably search for 'dating'.

 

I also was wondering if there is a way to tell if they are six kinds of crazy very early on. Not unless you get the feeling from their profile. Same as with any other stranger you meet - sometimes you just can't tell.

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I thought this was a no strings attached kinda thing?

I'll admit to little experience with that category, since when I see "activity partner" or "friendship" I move on to the next profile. However, these tags are often accompanied by essays that indicate quite clearly she's just not interested in finding anyone for romantic reasons.

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2.Average= Not too thin, not too fat.

That's what would make sense, but a fair number of women in my experience think they're fat when they're thin. The same applies to the "few extra pounds" category, though usually the truly thin have enough sense not to describe themselves as heavier than "average."

 

On the other hand, you have both men and women who kid themselves that they're "average" or "a few extra pounds" when they have a serious weight problem.

 

Since deception in both directions is common, I don't think this category is all that useful. Photos usually tell enough of the real story that you can ignore the label. Certainly I always include "a few extra pounds" when searching because I know it's often a matter of personal bias.

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That's what would make sense, but a fair number of women in my experience think they're fat when they're thin. The same applies to the "few extra pounds" category, though usually the truly thin have enough sense not to describe themselves as heavier than "average."

 

On the other hand, you have both men and women who kid themselves that they're "average" or "a few extra pounds" when they have a serious weight problem.

 

Since deception in both directions is common, I don't think this category is all that useful. Photos usually tell enough of the real story that you can ignore the label. Certainly I always include "a few extra pounds" when searching because I know it's often a matter of personal bias.

 

Espcially since women who readily admit she has "a few extra pounds" is LESS likely to have hang ups and illusions about other things in life as well. ie: she is a more "balanced" person than the one who hasn't figured these things out yet (or is willing to mislead a potential partner)

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That's what would make sense, but a fair number of women in my experience think they're fat when they're thin. The same applies to the "few extra pounds" category, though usually the truly thin have enough sense not to describe themselves as heavier than "average."

 

On the other hand, you have both men and women who kid themselves that they're "average" or "a few extra pounds" when they have a serious weight problem.

 

Since deception in both directions is common, I don't think this category is all that useful. Photos usually tell enough of the real story that you can ignore the label. Certainly I always include "a few extra pounds" when searching because I know it's often a matter of personal bias.

 

I agree. Some of the categories are just pointless, because people deceive themselves about where they are (the 'a few extra pounds' is such a popular one for abuse), or they know what they are but figure they can just avoid posting full length pictures and snag someone with their personality, then hope they don't mind the lie once they grow to like them through written communication

 

I just put what should actually be in those categories, but people aren't always honest. Plus, if you know a certain category has connotations, maybe people are more reluctant to put themselves there. I know the 'few extra pounds' one sounds like 'I'm a chubster!' to some people, so if I ever went just a couple of pounds over my optimal weight I still wouldn't put it until I got proper fat.

 

And I've always thought 'thin' sounds awful, though I was probably in that category when I first started online dating. Some places give the option of slim instead, which sounds much less like you eat dry crackers and tap water for every meal.

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And I've always thought 'thin' sounds awful, though I was probably in that category when I first started online dating.

It's worse if you're a guy. I'm 5'10", and at one point my normal weight was about 150. Classic ectomorph. My weight came up over the phone once, and she said, "oh, you have a swimmer's build." I responded "uh, yeah," rather than saying "No, I'm just painfully thin, no muscle tone at all."

 

I probably should have, it would have saved time all around. On our date she told me I was too small for her, that she wouldn't feel like a "real woman" in my arms.

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Ok...I'll chime in...

 

If you are looking for a physically fit woman...steer clear of women who post pictures of only their head (face from the chin up).

 

If you are looking for a woman in a certain age bracket...make sure the pics she posts are "recent"...and I'm talking about within the last month or so...

 

If you are looking for women to date, with the least amount of issues....look for someone in your own financial bracket...you don't want a 'cling-on' who only wants to milk you for expensive dates, then leave ya hangin' in the breeze.

 

just my thoughts!

 

You are a "catch" Lost, a woman would be lucky to have you respond to her on-line ad...be picky...be very very picky.

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If you are looking for a physically fit woman...steer clear of women who post pictures of only their head (face from the chin up).

 

If you are looking for a woman in a certain age bracket...make sure the pics she posts are "recent"...and I'm talking about within the last month or so...

 

If you are looking for women to date, with the least amount of issues....look for someone in your own financial bracket...you don't want a 'cling-on' who only wants to milk you for expensive dates, then leave ya hangin' in the breeze.

 

Totally agree on all these points!!!

 

I know from experience. The above really are spot on.

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Totally agree on all these points!!!

 

I know from experience. The above really are spot on.

 

LOL! Thanks! Well, I have only been on one dating site, a few years ago and some of the stuff on there is down right scary. The embellished profiles are definitely abundant. I have several friends that have since told me horror stories about meeting up with someone they THOUGHT they had a lot in common with...turned out..."not so much".

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I havn't put up an online profile yet, but the idea has crossed my mind...

 

For women, is it better to put "dating" or "long term" if you know that you want marriage EVENTUALLY?

 

I know I want to get married, but I definitely would like to be with the person for at least 2 or 3 year before that happens and am not looking for anything "quick", but that is my ultimate goal. Not sure what category I would choose.

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[...] I also was wondering if there is a way to tell if they are six kinds of crazy very early on.

 

Spend an adequate amount of time on the phone. Most people either try to duck this by typing too much, or they skip past it by meeting too fast. Don't. The phone can spare you some seriously bad dates.

 

Invest in good conversation. Relax, take your time and draw out any potential demons while you remain safely out of reach. Pay Attention. If yellow flags go up, you might want to meet for coffee rather than a meal. If red flags go up--cut and run.

 

I would appreciate any experienced advice you guys and girls might have.

 

If someone tries to rush you to meet, you can decide whether that's a flag for you. I'm honest about looking for conversation chemistry before I'm willing to invest in a meeting. I ask prior to the call if we can take setting a date off the table until at least a second call. I once had a guy agree, then he phoned me and pulled one wire hanger short of a mommy-dearest meltdown because I wouldn't be bullied to meet. (Other than that, I'm sure he was a great guy...)

 

Fingers crossed for you!

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