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Unusual break-up


Kate40

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I had been dating my boyfriend for 4 and a half months when his mom died rather unexpectedly. He called me in a rage, and asked me not to attend the wake or funeral, and he even broke up with me. He claims the break-up has nothing to do with his mother's death, but I do not believe that based on the way things were between us. I have respected his wishes and stayed away, even though my heart tells me differently and I just want to be there for him. I do not want to upset him more, and realize that he may just need time alone to grieve. I am just not sure what to make out of all of this. I feel awful and just want to be there to love and support him. I have tried to reach out to other family members, but they will not respond to me either. It is awful.

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I realize people grieve in different ways, but that seems rather harsh and bizarre.

 

My bf's father passed away the day after he and I decided to be exclusive and he still says he was thankful that I was there to console him.

 

Were you not close to his family? I'm wondering why they won't reach out to you either.

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I would want my "SO" to be by my side if there were a death in the family. Maybe there is, or was someone else that would be there, that he doesn't want you to know about.

 

I realize that he may be grieving, but you don't push away a person that you care about. You're better off without him...something just doesn't add up here.

 

Take care...

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This is unusual.

 

But, you have to respect his wishes. It would be far worse to try and be there when he has told you not to be, than to just take what he has said at face value and step back.

 

If this really is some issue with his mum's death then he will probably realise at some point that he was behaving oddly with you. He may even regret breaking up with you.

 

At the most, I would send a supportive email outlining that you respect his decision but would like to express again how sorry you are for his loss and how if he ever decides he needs to talk, you'll be around.

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I cant imagine what hes going through. To be quite frank, I think the relationship thing is the last thing on his mind now. I would just give him time to grieve and he'll call you when hes ready. No need to push him into dealing with one more thing on top of the load he has going on now.

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