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I think I might have Body dysmorphic disorder

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For a while I've been feeling ugly. I do know what event triggered this and no matter how hard I try, I just cannot get it out of my head and move on from it. Since then I’ve become more and more obsessive about my appearance. I am over weight due to a medical condition and am trying very hard to lose the weight now. But I have become obsessive about all areas of my appearance, for example:


I write lists of things that are wrong with me and how I’m going to try and correct them

I spend a small fortune on my skin care routine and follow it obsessively. I do already have blemish-free skin, but I want it to be even better.

I spend a lot of money on cosmetics and constantly watch make-over shows to give me hope.

I once took one of those online “beauty analysis” tests. My score was around 8/10, but since then I’ve been fixated on the few negative things it told me. It told me the distance between my eyes was slightly too large. I never even noticed this before, but since then I’ve been obsessed by it. I look at the distance between celebrities, models, and even other family members eyes to see how big it is, then compare it to my own. It makes me depressed and worried that even when I’ve finished losing the weight I may look like an alien. I am also fixated on the fact that I think my forehead is huge even though some people say it is perfectly normal-sized.

I look in the mirror constantly to see how I look. Even in furniture shops I will find a mirror to look in.

I compare the way I look to celebrities/models and get upset.

Even though some people tell me I’m pretty, it’s not good enough for me. I worry that I’ll never be as pretty as I want to be because of these flaws.

I measure the distance between my eyes regularly and try and use make-up to make the eyes look closer.

I touch my face all the time to feel how soft my skin is.

If someone laughs near me, I always think they're laughing at me.


Could this be BDD? I only read the symptoms recently and they struck a cord with me. Can an event cause someone to develop BDD? There are a few things about me that aren’t classical BDD. For example I don’t want plastic surgery, because it’s too risky, but I do want my teeth contouring and professionally lightening. I don’t hate everything about myself - I think I could be pretty without the flaws I have mentioned (large forehead, eye-distance and teeth.) I am obsessed by these things in particular. The rest of my face I’m okay with except for the fact I think my face is chubby. I hate my body so much. There’s nothing about that I like.


My parents just think I have low self-esteem. But this seems to be taking over my life.

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I think you are just very high maintenance.

I live in a country where women do all sorts of beauty routines whenever they have free time from chemical peeling, ultrasonic facial massage, put on contacts that make their eyes look BIGGER, eyelash extensions, hair extensions, lymphatic massage so their faces look SLIGHTY SMALLER etc.

I have never met a person who isn't on a diet. new cosmetics, lotions, massage creams, you name it.


I don't know how old you are, but if you are still young, it is something a lot of girls go through.

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Body Dysmorphic Disorder is a mental disorder that makes people see themselves as grotesquely deformed and repulsive when they are not.


It has nothing to do with feeling bad about your own actual looks. You sound like you are obsessed with your own appearance and feel the need to be universally and stunningly attractive to everybody else, which is completely unrealistic but not BDD.


You say you are overweight... so you are overweight. It doesn't mean you are ugly, but you already know that. You would have BDD if you were skinny as a stick but still thought of yourself as a beached whale.


I don't see how self-diagnosing oneself with achronyms helps anyone in any way. It's like the way suddenly everyone is bipolar.

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Well I'm glad to hear that. I can't say I know a huge amount about BDD. I read an article about it in the paper and a few of the "symptoms" struck a cord, but that was all.


I do get upset about my looks and my parents have said it's merely low-self esteem and low self-confidence. Which could well be the case. What can I do to try and imrprove this? I don't have any idea where to start building my self-esteem.

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