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Bad anxiety and insecurity


Lucid

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I could really really do with some advice

 

I recently moved in with my boyfriend and for some reason my mind has just dont a flip and Im just not sure what to do.

 

I really really love him and care for him so much, I just dont think I can cope with the way my mind is working anymore.

 

I am constantly paranoid, over thinking and analyzing things about our relationship, worrying about the stupidest things like what he is saying does he really mean it or is he just saying what I want to hear, or is he doing something behind my back, cheating is the main worry in my mind and I just can not get all this crap out of my mind and its ruining things.

 

I want rid of them, I dont want to worry I dont want to over think things and I dont want this constant anxiety of what might happen but I cant seem to figure out a way to stop it.

 

He has NEVER given me a reason not to trust him, not once, but my mind just over thinks things and then worries me into oblivion where I wreck things and I cant do this to him, I just cant.

 

Ive talked myself into feeling happy, getting things sorted then something happens and I end up right back here I started.

 

Like a picture was posted on his facebook from a girl he knows of him cuddling her and it just freaked me, now its a totally innocent picture but why the heck cant my mind take it as totally innocent, am I just so bloody insecure to think he's going to break my heart so I have to ruin it at the start, seems like it and its the BEST thing Ive ever had.

 

Please if anyone has any advice Id like to hear about it.

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it sounds like you need to work on your trust with men in general.

 

I agree ^

 

But also, maybe talk to him about how weird you're feeling. Also, making yourself comfortable forcibly.. like purposely doing things you would normally do only by yourself. Sharing the perfunctory parts of your daily life is what the move in together is all about. And (sorry for being crass) but a big moment for a lot of couples is realizing that the everybody poops and farts and all that biological wonderful stuff we are taught to hide politely.

 

Hope it gets better! But if you really don't see it getting better, maybe you should consider moving out? Or atleast make sure you're getting alone "you" time.

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I have this problem VERY often.

 

I've found that these feelings stem from a lack of focus on my own life. The more your focus/think/plan/stress over your OWN stuff, the less you even have time to worry about him.

 

I'm sure you have a life of your own, but how much of it do you spend worrying/thinking about him instead of you?

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Thank you all for the replies..

 

Tonight has been a better night, felt more close relaxed, watched a movie and just tried to relax.

 

He moved into my spare room and has his own space for his stuff plus he snores really badly..

 

In a conversation before bed we were talking about the face we sleep apart and he said that he doesnt see it as a big deal and dont need to rush it as its a new bed he has so no need to rush, I felt like he doesnt want to really sleep together, he has said before he likes his own space and not to have to much disturbance to get a good sleep, Im taking it as he just doesnt want to which has now got me thinking which I was really hoping wouldnt happen but again it has..

 

I like the comfort and closeness of sleeping with someone and I feel like he's just not into it.

 

Should I be worrying?

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This is the kind of thinking that will get you into trouble. You're over-thinking things and it's just worrying you more.

 

I don't think this is something you should be too concerned about, but talk to him if you feel you need to.

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