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Is emotionally cheating morally okay?


jjkalai

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If you haven't read my posts before...

 

My ex girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me about a month ago over trust issues, and problems we already had (I was trying really hard to fix them). She said "It's over, it's done I'm completely over you. You need to move on." I've never cheated on her or hit her. I moved out here to Las Vegas to go to school with her. (I have family here so I'm staying at my father's house while she's at the dorms).

 

The final straw was when she was snooping through my emails and she saw that I replied to my ex girlfriends email that she sent me, which basically said "I heard you moved to Vegas, good luck and all that." I just sent a friendly email back saying that I hope she's doing good, and I'm sorry for what happened between us (our breakup was pretty sour and I never apologized for it) and I hope she's doing okay too. When my current ex saw this, she freaked out and broke up with me. She didn't even want to talk about it. I woke up that morning, checked my facebook and her status was "single". Me being confused... I gave her a call.

 

I then found out she hooked up with some guy at this new years party the very next day and they're on a "whatever happens, happens" relationship (since they both go to school in different states). This destroyed me. I felt like I was literally cheated on. Then I found out that she's dating guys here in Las Vegas... I've been feeling depressed for about a month now... I feel it getting a little bit better.

 

I did get a chance to talk with her and she told me that she thinks it's totally fine because she broke up with me first, before she started seeing anyone else. From a different perspective, I could kind of see why that would be alright. But I don't know if it's morally okay... Do you think it's alright for someone to do this to me? If someone says they are completely over you, you think they really mean it? Especially if they haven't gone through the whole break up process? I'm wondering if she will eventually realize the wrong she did to me, and ask for some sort of reconciliation...

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Wait, you want to willingly get back with someone who cut off all communication with you because you sent a civil e-mail to your ex?

 

I know it hurts, but I wouldn't get back with her or even try. What she did was an overreaction and I honestly think she'd already gotten over you and was looking for an excuse to end things. The e-mail was just the convenience she needed, no matter the content.

 

Just my personal opinion from the outside, take it or leave it.

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Wait, you want to willingly get back with someone who cut off all communication with you because you sent a civil e-mail to your ex?

 

I know it hurts, but I wouldn't get back with her or even try. What she did was an overreaction and I honestly think she'd already gotten over you and was looking for an excuse to end things. The e-mail was just the convenience she needed, no matter the content.

 

Just my personal opinion from the outside, take it or leave it.

 

I wouldn't want to get back with her now, not at the current state I'm in. I'm just wondering if you guys think that dumpers do eventually realize their overreactions and come crawling back? And her automatically throwing herself at some other guy is the wrong thing to do from a different perspective? Since I think that the way we broke up was so stupid and pointless.

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this was her excuse...and yes, you should have mentioned you've been in contact with your ex. that does matter. if it's transparant then it's transparant. but...she just wanted out. you sleep with someone that fast because you want to seal the deal and there's no turning back at that point.

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I wouldn't want to get back with her now, not at the current state I'm in. I'm just wondering if you guys think that dumpers do eventually realize their overreactions and come crawling back? And her automatically throwing herself at some other guy is the wrong thing to do from a different perspective? Since I think that the way we broke up was so stupid and pointless.

 

No, in this situation she will not come back.

 

As myself and others pointed out, she was looking for an excuse to end things with you. She had grown tired of the relationship for one reason or another and didn't want to end things up front with you in real breakup fashion. So, she saw you communicated with your ex and used that as an excuse to leave the relationship and do whatever she wanted with no guilt, which was obviously to go get some, apparently randomly.

 

Yes, what she did was wrong morally but not necessarily ethically/socially. She did all the socially correct things but she wasn't honest in handling the relationship through how she felt about it.

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Maybe you ignored her, like you just did me.

 

I just went and read the history, first time I've seen it. She didn't cheat at all, she broke up with you. Then she started dating. I think you should accept that.

 

 

Lol @ Ms. Firecracker. Firecracker is right ... perhaps a little blunt but right.

 

No, I don't think she cheated according to the sequence you give. It hurts though, and I can understand how you feel. She was definitely looking for a way out.

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Maybe you ignored her, like you just did me.

 

I just went and read the history, first time I've seen it. She didn't cheat at all, she broke up with you. Then she started dating. I think you should accept that.

 

It's not like this guy came out of the blue. She was hanging out with him before we broke up. She took a trip back to Hawaii and started hanging out with him (a lot) while we were still together. =/ I guess he was interested in her while we were still together, he found out that we broke up, and made his move (the day after we split).

 

Does that make a difference?

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It's not like this guy came out of the blue. She was hanging out with him before we broke up. She took a trip back to Hawaii and started hanging out with him (a lot) while we were still together. =/ I guess he was interested in her while we were still together, he found out that we broke up, and made his move (the day after we split).

 

Does that make a difference?

 

I don't believe so. Everyone keeps their opposite sex friends now, just in case. But anyway, she has to live with herself. I'm pretty sure she's not letting it keep her awake at night. So you shouldn't lose sleep over her either.

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