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I feel that she is disrespecting me. Advice needed.


Malakh

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hey guys,

 

I need some advice regarding a friend... She is actually a colleague.

 

2 weeks ago during an email exchange I asked if she is interested in going for lunch (we have been to lunches before). She said 'yes' and wanted to know if she can bring another colleague with her. I said sure no problem. Next day this girl emails me and says she can't make it to lunch because she has only 30 minutes. But she suggested we could probably do it next week. So next week I emailed her and her friend on thursday and asked if we can do lunch the next day (friday). This girl replied back and said "I'm not feeling very well (i have a cold), but I'll see how I'm feeling tomorrow". I didn't say anything... Then I went to the company cafeteria and I see this girl and her friend taking lunch to go. The next day I did not hear from her. She was in the office though. I felt disrespected...

 

After this I just kept quiet and today while taking some lunch to go from the company cafe I saw these 2 girls having lunch. This girl saw me and then called me and said "hey we are thinking this friday for lunch. does friday work for you?". I said "Hmm.. lemme see" and she said "ok let us know".

 

She has done a similar thing before. We both had planned to take a walk near the company at 3pm. The next day she was not to be seen in the office. At 3:45 she sent me an email and said "I worked from home today. May be we can go walking some other time". She did not even apologize.. I think she is doing the same thing now.

 

I really do not like the way she has behaved and I am planning to just keep quiet. I am sure that if I ask her one more time she will come up with some other excuse and make me look like an idiot.

 

What do you guys think?

 

Thanks

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To answer your question, yes I think she was being disrespectful.

 

"I am sure that if I ask her one more time she will come up with some other excuse and make me look like an idiot."

 

You already tried so many times to ask her out, and most of the time, it wasn't successful.

Why don't you take this as a sign? Obviously you have feelings for her, and there's a

big chance she knows that and is avoiding you.

Since you guys work together, it might be her way of gently saying no.

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To answer your question, yes I think she was being disrespectful.

 

"I am sure that if I ask her one more time she will come up with some other excuse and make me look like an idiot."

 

You already tried so many times to ask her out, and most of the time, it wasn't successful.

Why don't you take this as a sign? Obviously you have feelings for her, and there's a

big chance she knows that and is avoiding you.

Since you guys work together, it might be her way of gently saying no.

 

Thanks Coyote.

 

I actually gave up on her a while ago. I asked her out exactly 2 times - for the walk and for the movie. That was it.

 

We did continue to have good conversations every now and then. And the thing is she started complimenting me almost every time we met. She was also very supportive of me when I was preparing for a certification exam. It looked like it was a good friendship. Then she said her contract was getting over and I said I will take her out for a farewell lunch. We went for lunch and had a good time. But apparently the next week her contract got extended and she is still here in the company. Everything was fine until this whole lunch thing happened. I did not ask her out for lunch... I only meant it in a friendly way. Since we went for the farewell lunch I thought things are clear. And I was ok with her bringing another girl for lunch. After all this she is behaving this way....

 

Do you think I am right to just keep quiet instead of letting them know about friday?

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Agreeign with coyote on this one...

 

Thanks Hers.

 

I am not interested in dating her any more. I asked her for lunch in a friendly way. She asked if she could bring her friend (another colleague) and I was okay with that too. After all this she pulls this behavior. And today afternoon while I was minding my own business she calls me and asks if this friday is ok for lunch.

 

I think I just need to stop talking with this woman.

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Even still she may not realize it's friendly b/c the invitations are still coming. Keep your distance for a while and let her come to you if she wants to be your friend.

 

Thanks Hers.

 

This is really frustrating. I wish people were more straight-forward and just say "Sorry, but I am busy". There really is no need for her to agree, then ask if she can bring a friend, then come up with some excuse, then say how about next week, and next week come up with another excuse, and then ask for lunch this friday.... Wow!! She can go screw herself. Even if she comes to me some time in the future and asks me for her lunch I will just refuse.

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Thanks Hers.

 

This is really frustrating. I wish people were more straight-forward and just say "Sorry, but I am busy". There really is no need for her to agree, then ask if she can bring a friend, then come up with some excuse, then say how about next week, and next week come up with another excuse, and then ask for lunch this friday.... Wow!! She can go screw herself. Even if she comes to me some time in the future and asks me for her lunch I will just refuse.

 

I know, what's up with that? I wonder why people don't just say "no" or "I can't make it" from the get go. I've never understood the whole run around thing. If you ever figure out the reasoning behind it, let me know!

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