Jump to content

I just don't get him =/


Recommended Posts

So I've been feeling ill on and off for weeks now, keep having days where I'm sick all day, then the next day I'll be fine. On and off all the time. So anyway My ex was due to pick our daughter up and I told him I was having a bad day again and kept being sick. When he arrived he'd bought me a magazine, big bottle of lucozade, some tablets and a big bag of malteasers and some tomato soup...all as a surprise...He did this last time aswell but actually made me food and brought it round. He has a girlfriend now and before he was seeing her I know he wasn't over us and it was all confusing. When he left he text me saying he still loves me and he hopes I feel ok and that I must get to the doctors in the morning etc. I was so grateful he'd done this earlier and he knows just how to melt my heart. I never contact him apart from things to do with our daughter and we don't speak much anymore. But now as the nights gone on...the happiness for what he did earlier has now turned to anger. Really bad anger. Where I'm just thinking...what's he playing at doing that. I know it was a nice gesture, but he clearly knows I still love him and its as if he doesn't want me to be able to move on. I wish he'd stop doing things like this its making it so hard. Has anyone else had a similar situation like this? It just makes me miss him more when he does this & makes me so mad that he got a new girlfriend so fast after everything. Don't know how to feel or what to do...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its is very confusing. I don't envy you. He probably thinks he's doing something compassionately, when in fact he's actually harming you without realising.

 

Can I suggest that maybe you sit him down next time he comes for your daughter and tell him that while you are grateful for his concern, you cannot receive gifts from him as it is making it hard for you to move on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes, I would sit down and talk to him about how you feel and that is actions are confusing. But most likely, he does still love you but not in the way that you want to be loved. You have a daughter together so it makes it even harder but you will get past it and eventually find someone that will return your love the way that you deserve.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm just so mad at him still for giving up on our family so easily. Fair enough if he'd stayed single but to just end up in another relationship. Its ridiculous after everything that went on after our break up too. I know hes not 100% over me, but the fact he can call someone else his girlfriend after all our memories and the fact we had a daughter together LESS THAN A YEAR AGO! Makes me want to bash his head off a wall I'm so angry tonight, I'm not usually like this. Whats he playing at!?! Grrr

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No not at all. A huge shock but when I found out it was too late for options. But we became delighted with everything and were so close and couldn't wait for her to be born blah blah. I've posted about all that many times though. How long was it since your break up?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dont think its a "Game" as you think it is. He has a girlfriend, without knowing too much more of the story, he still cares about you, but dont look too much into everything he does or says. Dont edit, cross examine, analyze, decode, dicipher, decrypt, or think twice of his moves or what he says.

Its someone caring for someone else who is sick. For now Accept the situation at hand and learn to accept "it is what it is" He came to help out the sick mother of his child" Thats all it was.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well he shouldn't. I know him well and he isn't that sort of person. There is always a motive behind what he does. He does and has played games from the start. I havn't analyzed any of it. I'm just angry. I don't want anything from him. He is generally a horrible person. To be honest I wish he'd just leave me alone. I don't talk to him ever unless its about our daughter and I don't want to be friends with him. He needs to just leave me alone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No not at all. A huge shock but when I found out it was too late for options. But we became delighted with everything and were so close and couldn't wait for her to be born blah blah. I've posted about all that many times though. How long was it since your break up?

 

Mine? 4 months.

 

Could it be that he was excited at the prospect of a kiddie, but then realised thereafter that perhaps you weren't the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with?

 

Not that I have personally experienced it, but I expect that it is tough when an unplanned child arrives and forces a person's hand in terms of their future.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No he was always more into me than the other way around. He was crazy in love with me. I get why we broke up...the arguments I just don't understand everything that happened since the break up and how he can be with someone else already. Its just so bizarre. But you're right I need to let go now. Its just so difficult to do when hes always around. How are you feeling with regards to your break up? Are you near enough healed yet? I feel like its taking me forever. Its been 5 month exactly since we broke up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you could tell him to stop speaking to you this way, and that you only want to discuss things about your daughter. i guess you could "help him" by not telling him about your physical problems as well, so he doesn't do anything extra for you.

 

i'm guessing that as the mother of his child he still has love for you, though it might not be the kind of love you want from him. i'm sure he's concerned that the mother of his child is in good health and able to take care of his daughter properly.

 

if it confuses and angers you, the only thing i can think of is that you tell him so. if he's a horrible person and a game player as you say, then you shouldn't put too much stock in what he says. it's action or lack thereof that truly matters. don't analyze everything he says. like i said, he's probably concerned about the health of the mother of his child. don't read too much into the words pouring out of his mouth - thank him for the soup...or don't, and continue on as usual.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No he was always more into me than the other way around. He was crazy in love with me. I get why we broke up...the arguments I just don't understand everything that happened since the break up and how he can be with someone else already. Its just so bizarre. But you're right I need to let go now. Its just so difficult to do when hes always around. How are you feeling with regards to your break up? Are you near enough healed yet? I feel like its taking me forever. Its been 5 month exactly since we broke up.

No. I'm not that healed. I have certainly moved on. I cry less and I don't dream about her nearly as much. But I still miss her and miss the life we shared.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...