Jump to content

Have to go NC!! neeed your support and help!!!


pumpkin89

Recommended Posts

Well dunno if anyones familiar with my story but basically my EX has depression (or so she says). And sometimes she texts me and calls me sayin she missed me and cant wait to get back with me and stuff and others she just totally ignores me, shes got into the uni life and goes out partying and drinking pretty much every night.

 

The stress of her ignoring me sometimes has got to me and i told her i cant handle it anymore and i give up, she blamed the depression and said 'okay i'll lave you alone'. but i read up on depression and its not her fault if she gets like that sometimes (is she has it) so i apologised and said i'll stick by you but she INSISTS that i move on, anyway last night she went out and was her first night out in agges that she didnt call or text me in the middle of the night. I tried talking to her today and she basically just ingored me so i sent her a message saying if you have this depression i wanna help you and i understand but if not and you just want me to go away then you should tell me.

 

she basically said we've been through this a millon times and your not strong enough to wait for me, so move on. but of course i love her and dont want to move on, i sent her a last message that says i love you and youll always have a special place in my heart and i dont want to move on. she hasnt replied and wont give me any closure

 

anyones thoughts on this?

is she over me and just trying to get ridd? or could depression actually be the real problem?

 

anyway i have decided im not going to contact her from NOW, so i need all the support i can get from you guys! its going to be really hard the longest ive gone NC with her up till now is about 12 hours!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If she does contact you again, you can say what u need to say if you haven't already, then continue not contacting her. My ex has bi-polar and the moods were very dramatic, it was difficult for me so I understand how u feel. Just keep this in mind, if it's chronic depression, it's not going to change. Hopefully it's just a bout of feeling "depressed."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well here is an option.

 

Try and go a full 24 hours NC. If she contacts you during that time, do not respond. Do not answer the phone, text, IMs, or e-mails. Of course you are not allowed to initiate contact either. But, if she contacts you in the middle of those first 24 hours, you must start all over again and count 24 hours from the time you last received contact from her. When you go a FUL and COMPLETE 24 hours without contact, you are allowed to break it and contact her. Keep it simple with a 'Hey how are you?' Dont let the conversation go into too much detail. If you see it does, simply stop, and begin trying another 24 hours of No Contact. As soon as you have completed 3 different 24 hr periods of No Contact, begin doing the same but for a period of 36 hours. Complete 3 different 36 hour periods, and then begin the same thing but add another 12 hours (48 hrs) Keep going with the pattern until you find yourself going weeks without NC.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats quite a good idea! i liike it!

but its still gonna be verrry difficult

not sure if i should contact her after 24 hour, shes well aware that i miss her loads and want her back. i want to try and give her a taste of life without me at all. which wil lalso be difficult cause its her birthday this weekend and mine next week!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Even if she does text you, do not respond.

 

You said your piece about not being able to do this. Then she said she would leave you alone. Then you went back and said you would stand by her? Then she said move on?

 

It seems like you guys are playing some NC Tug of war.....

 

You said that you cant do it and have had enough - you just need to let her go and not worry about her depression. Sorry.

 

So stay here in this thread to keep busy and occupied

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There's another suggestion.

Keep doing NC tug of war until you are REALLY TIRED OF IT.

The day will come. Trust me. It might take 20years, but it will come.

 

 

Or you do the simple thing of NC now and never turn back.

Changing your phone # might be a good first step...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, i said i couldnt handle it cause i thought she was just ignoring me because she wanted to, i was doubtful it had anything to do with depression. but then i read up on depression and found it it could be that! which is why i said i wanted to stick with her, im not playing games, thats the last thing i want to do!

 

I just dont want her using this 'depression' as an excuse to do one over on me and take me for a fool. ive always been really close and supportive of her i dont deserve to be messed about

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Have to go NC!! neeed your support and help!!!"

 

^^I thought you wanted some suggestions, but I guess not.

 

 

I doooo lol! i am going NC! i'm just abit confused right now, going over everything in my mind, but i reaally appreciate all the suggestions and help your giving me thank you

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know, ive said my goodbyes and how much she meant to me and that i had a really amazing time with her and have loads of good memories and how she was my first love. there is literally nothing more i can say anyway. Now i have to just try live my life and get over her, i doubt she'll contact me, ive always told her we can never be friends after a breakup cause it just never works and my feelings woul dbe too strong. NC is the only thing left to do!

 

Someone hug me lol?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okaaay... NC may have been broken, but she contacted me, to come and pick up a dress she ordered online (the other week) thats being delivered to my place.

 

She hasnt come for it yet, but i'm going to use it as an opportunity to give her all her things back as well, that way i wont have to see her again later o and they wont be around to remind me of her, then i can properly begin to get over her and forget.

 

Theres also no reason for either of us to contact each other at all after this.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okaaaay, not been on this for a few days, een home from uni and kepping myself busy with friends ect.

 

She did come to pick up her package the other day, i took the opportunity to give her all of her things back, which was difficult (cried a few times sorting through it all). Anyway while she was here we talked a little bit and she asked if i would go for a meal with her sometime to celebrate our birthdays, I said im not sure if thats a good idea and we'll see.

 

That same night I got a phone call at about 3am, which as it woke me up and i was still half asleep i answered without really thinking about it. It was her. She was drunk.

She went off on one about how she misses me and 'loves me to bits' and has been feeling better the last 2 days (with her depression), and all shes been able to think about was me, and she wants to get back together with me soon, but wouldnt blame me for telling her to F off. Which of course i didnt...

 

So next day she texts me abit and i reply and things are ok, then suddenly she stops replying for the rest of the night, fair enough.

Today i go online and she says she stopped replying because i was 'harrasing' her, when all i was saying was trying to make conversaton 'how are you, what you up to' stuff like that.

 

So now shes in a mood with me and is ignoring me.... she somehow managed to swing this whole NC thing around...

 

Oh and when she came to pick her things up she wouldnt bring mine, plain refused. Said because 'Youve been trying to leave forever lately', which i clearly was.... despite that shes been telling me to move on!! She nearly wouldnt take her own things back, but i just put them in he car and left them.

 

SO now im left all confused again! and back to NC... day 1, take 2

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She went out tonite and posted loads of pics of her on facebook with the lad mentioned in some of my other posts, i doubt she is depressed at all, just an excuse to lead me on and keep me around while she worked on this lad, now SHE says its over for good and shes sick of me and im selfish...

 

I knew in my head when you all told me she was just leading me on, but my heart didnt want to believe it and made me trust her, i always seem to follow my heart to the slaughter rather than using my head

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...