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So confused! Good friend has gf but claims he wants to be w/ me?


luvalabeagle

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Ok, here's the situation. I usually don't do stuff like this but I don't know what to think anymore. My parents recently kicked me out of the house, and one of my best guy friends offered to let me stay w/ him until I got up on my feet. He's been in a relationship w/ his gf for over a year now. But when I moved in, we sat up and talked and it came out that we both had liked each other for a while but we were both always in relationships. I knew he had always liked me, I could feel it whenever we were around each other. So w/in the past month we've slept together a few times. And now I feel horrible. I feel like a home wrecker. And it breaks my heart to see him with his gf, hear him having sex with his gf. It's driving me nuts. Whenever she's around I have to act like everything's ok, like I don't have feelings for him, and it's getting harder and harder for me to keep on doing that.

I really have no where else to go, so moving out at this moment isn't exactly an option. He's told me that he's thought of breaking up w/ her but he's got a 6 yr old kid and his son and her have this "special bond" and so he's got to think about his son too. Which I completely understand. I just don't understand why he wants to continue messing around w/ me if he has no plans of breaking up w/ his gf anytime soon. I've already decided that we're through messing around. But it's hard for me to say no when he comes onto me b/c I really do like him.

He's told people that me moving in w/ him has been the best thing to happen to him in a really long time, and told some of our friends that he absolutely loves me to death. He hugs me and tells me he loves me every night before he goes to bed. And I know for a fact he'd never do anything to hurt me. I'm sure if I told him how all this did hurt me he would understand. I just have trouble expressing my feelings towards people for fear of criticism and rejection, I'm one of these people that keeps everything tucked away inside. So talking to him wouldn't be an easy task for me.

What on earth should I do ??

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Sweetie....you're the 'Other Woman' in this situation. The guy is getting the best of BOTH worlds while both of you are sharing half a man.Does that sound fair to you? Plus...he's cheating on his g/f with you...do you think this makes him a great catch???

Do you not think he will cheat on you the second he gets the chance to??

Please dump this loser. It has heartache written ALL over it.

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I just don't understand why he wants to continue messing around w/ me if he has no plans of breaking up w/ his gf anytime soon

 

Because he's a sleaze. Why have one woman you can have sex with in the house if you can have two?

 

You need to get everything sorted and get out.

 

If you know for a fact he'd never hurt you, why has he colluded in this situation? Why have sex with you, tell you he wants to be with you and then remind you why he's not going to be leaving his gf or disturbing his world for you?

He wanted to shag you, now he can. That's what you're worth to him. You think he doesn't know you can hear them having sex, see them being a couple?

 

If you stick around for this to be discovered things might end up being really really bad.

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This cannot and will not end well. He's telling you everything you want to hear to keep you as his side action. He's not a good guy despite what you think. He wouldn't be doing this if he cared about either of you.

 

You can hear him having sex with his GF? I mean, come on, that's just nasty and mean.

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I know for a fact he'd never do anything to hurt me.

 

And it breaks my heart to see him with his gf, hear him having sex with his gf.

 

Hmmmm

 

You need to leave that place. First, you are interferring with their relationship? What you are doing is wrong on so many levels. He has a girlfriend, and a son. That should have been enough to not engage.

 

Secondly, he is a sleaze as others have said. Hes going behind her back to sleep with you, telling friends that you moving in is the best thing to happen to him and then he bangs his girlfriend in front of you so you can hear?

 

This guy is selfish and if you really do want to stop things, the only thing you can do is move out, or at the very least, not hang around the apartment when its you and him. You also need to stand up for yourself and tell him that this cannot continue while he has a girlfriend. If he really likes you, he needs to make a decision on his relationship first. If he doesnt want to be there, he needs to leave that relationship before pursuing you.

Good luck

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I know this whole situation can't end well, no matter what I do. And I guess that's what's been driving me crazy. I don't know what it is w/ me, but I always put myself in these screwed up situations where the only outcome is pain for me. Vicious, never ending cycle. Reckon I'm doomed to live a miserable life.

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He does this because he can, and can get away with it, and he enjoys having a variety, otherwise known as "having his cake, and eating it too." He doesn't "love you", he loves having sex with you.

 

I can promise you that if his girlfriend gets wind of this, he'll blame you, and will lie til the cows come home. You'll be known as a troublemaker, and he will in no way, stand up for you. You need to get out of there ASAP!

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