I am 9 weeks Pregnant and so upset at BF's behaviour...

[mca1975]

I know I thought that, I don't want to be feeling these bad vibes, this anger and frustration and uncertainty. It is time to be real.

[Applewhite]

I know I thought that, I don't want to be feeling these bad vibes, this anger and frustration and uncertainty. It is time to be real.

 

Also maybe you should point out the objective reality that you CAN'T afford this lifestlye. Explain to him that if he wants you to pitch in more so that he doesn't resent him and doesn't feel like he pays for everything, you need to change your conditions so that life is not so expensive. You need to do whatever changes needed - move, shop elsewhere, cut on phone bills, TV etc - to be able to make the money situation work. Because if as it is you are just getting by (and constantly arguing and bickering over what is fair and who paid what), you will soon face a disastrous situation when baby bills start piling up.

[lavenderdove]

Sometimes in relationships you need to call a time out and just refuse to bicker or fight. You've just had a major life change come to light with this baby, and need to try to have as peaceful a pregnancy as possible for your own health and the baby's.

 

Rather than dwelling on him and petty arguments, if he starts to pick on you or try to pick an argument, just table that and refuse to engage. Tell him you won't be mocked and get up and leave. If that means spending some time at your mothers for a while then do it.

 

And let him know that this is no longer about who does the most housework, it is about another life coming into this world, and you BOTH need to focus on what is right for the baby, and the two of you bickering and fighting isn't good for any of you.

 

So personally, I think a good solution might be to live at your mother's for awhile, while agreeing to go into counseling together and only discuss hot issues in front of the counselor.

 

He can't very well accuse you of sponging off him if you aren't living with him, and he might well miss you a lot if you're not around for him to bicker with. You need to call a timeout to re-assess what is important, and to go to a counselor to learn whether you both are willing to do what it takes to stop the bickering and name calling and set up a peaceful home for your child. If he won't work with you on this and you two can't find a common ground, then it probably is better off for you not to live with him as that is harmful to you and the baby.