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Trying to improve the sex but can't!


inactivecash

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Guys and gals I have tried everything!

 

I'm a very sexual and experiamental person and I absalutley love to do everything in the bedroom, there is nothing I wouldn't do. My Ex was amazing in the bedroom and I miss it sooo badly!

 

I have been seeing this girl for a couple of months now and she claims she's the dirtiest I will ever see in the bedroom in my entire life! So I got all excited to found out it was mostly all talk!

 

She hardly ever does any forplay, it's just straight from kissing to sex... She has gone down there about twice and she once wispered in my ear "if you cum in my mouth, I'll kill you!" in a jokey way...

 

I have tried talking to her calmly about it but she just gets moody and i'm constantly hinting about what I like but she never does any of it... She never tells me what she likes either, even when I ask!

 

What the hell can I do to improve this? because I'm getting very frustrated, sometimes I don't even cum because It just is not good... I really like this person and I don't want to give up on her!

 

Thanks in advance!

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Honestly aside from talking to her there really isn't much you can do from what I can tell.

 

 

I understand the frustration a little. The last 2 years of my relationship my ex and I had sex MAYBE once every 2 weeks and did not foreplay and refused to try anything new. The more I tried to talk to him the more he claimed up or got moody. So I know how you feel.

 

 

Maybe she claimed to be 'the dirtiest' because she thought you would be more attracted to her when in reality she wasn't that experienced... and now doesn't want to deal with the fact that she isn't. It could be a number of reasons but the main thing is she has got to talk about it, otherwise unless you let your sex wants go, it's going to fester.

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The thing is though, she's really experienced as far as I can tell - She's had quite a few long term relationships and a few one off guys in the past, plus she's older than me.

 

On messenger she talks sexy all the time and it gets me really horny! I tried hinting about how much I loooove it when she blow jobs (which is a white lie) and I say somthing like "mmmm I love it wet wet wet!" then she'll reply somthing like "Night xxx" and either go away or change the subject!

 

The other day she started sucking me then stopped after like 5 mins and was like, lets get ready and go out - I was like HUH? and I was really tense and moody the whole day! I don't see what the problem is!!!

 

She's comfortable with her body, doesn't mind me seeing stuff - she never lets me go down on her - Iv'e done it once and loooved it and she seemed to aswell so I just can't see what the problem is. When ever I start to try and talk about it, she gets all defensive and complains that I think it's not good already! She has no intention of finding out what I like, which really bothers me and I'm not used to it compared to my ex.

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So when she messages and it's dirty, howl long does that last?

 

Is it just a comment here or there or does sex conversation last and then she changes the subject?

 

 

Well I'd be pretty moody to if somebody went down on me and stopped after 5 minutes... wait, I have had that before..... but never to stop having sex altogether and go out!

 

If it keeps going and you keep feeling like this it's going to have to come down to you living with this kind of sex life or not being able to deal with it.

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We talk for hours just about sex. I have pages and pages of it, she tells me her fantasies and has asked me mine.

 

I said somthing like I would love it somehow she got under my desk at work and started playing with me without anyone knowing! She really liked that idea, obviously not gonna happen but it was a good conversation. Hers was me being really rough with her, picking her up shoving against the wall etc.. And I have done this!

 

In sex, she does cum, only when I'm on top and when I'm doing a specific thing, so she does like it! She's always really wet as well. But she just doesnt foreplay and never likes to try anything different, she's been on top twice for a very short period of time!

 

It's always me on top, doing the same thing... I have to be real close to her so I can't see anything, which doesn't help me! There has been a fair few times where I just give up and she's all like "Whats wrong with YOU?". She thinks its me whos got the problem!

 

I think because my last relationship had an amazing sex life, I'm kind of expecting it again.. But half the stuff she say's, she just doesn't do. I can't stay with someone who isn't compatiable with me in bed, sorry if that sounds shallow but it's true!

 

Yesterday she was talking about how she would love to have a threesom with me! This would be great, but I know now that it's all talk just to impress me or somthing...

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She sounds like she trying to project herself as a dirty girl in bed, but can't come up with the goods.

 

Do you think she'll change? Do you want to be stuck with someone who will go down on you, and then stop and say"Let's get going?"

 

Dealbreaker for me. Mine doesn't stop till I'm satisfied.

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I agree with KG. I put up with the same kind of person for the last 2 years... never again.

 

 

I'll be the first to admit, i can talk dirty (the few times I have done it) through texts or email but in person the lights have got to be off or I'm going to burst into a fit of giggles at myself. I just can't look someone in the eye and say things like that.

 

that may be her case... you can be comfortable with your body all you want but that is another ball park.

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I'm gonna ask her outright tonight about why she doesnt like any forplay. If she gets in a mood about it then It's off!

 

Anyone got any tips on how to start this conversation without it ending in tears?

 

It's such a shame because she's gorgeous and soooo fun to be around, but she's built up the fact she's great in bed and is up for anything when really shes as good as a log! Ow I'm sad!

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Just sit her down calmly on the couch and tell her you guys need to talk, that this has been bugging you for a while and every time you bring it up she gets moody. You want her to just sit and listen to you. Once your done she can ignore you all she wants if thats what she wants to do but not to do it til you are done talking.

 

At least that way if you end things, you can say you got everything you wanted to say out.

 

communication is key in a relationship after all.

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Location...Location....Location!

 

Experiment and try different places! One of my favorite places, as weird as it sounds, was having sex at a construction site. It was dirty, raunchy, and the thrill of risking getting caught was amazing! There was also a little bit of an ego boost for me when I my partner was submissive and let me jokingly cover her mouth so the moans wouldnt echo throughout this building! Highly highly recommend going that route.

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