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Obsessively checking e-mail after breakup!


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Ever since I broke up with my ex girlfriend a few weeks ago, I can't stop myself checking my e-mails, facebook and my phone!

 

I don't know if obsessed is the right word, but whenever I have a free minute I have to check if she has got in contact. I keep telling myself all I need to do is just check my e-mails and facebook maybe once a week, but it's not working ](*,)

 

I do try and keep myself busy, but there's only so much you can do sometimes, it's impossible to be busy all the time.

 

Has anyone gone through something similar? Any advice would be appreciated.

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Yeah I was always checking my e-mail, facebook, myspace, phone, etc... after the split, hoping for that contact. The best u can do is keep active and cut down the time you're checking these. It also sounds like you're keeping up hope instead of moving on. It might help if you tried not to "expect" to get a message from the ex as much as possible...

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Yes- it becomes sort of an obsession. Because the minute they do contact you, it's a feeling of relief- whether it's good/bad/you want or not.... I think you're dealing with feelings of rejection. So anything to show her around- would deflate that feeling and

you would get a mini high. But I can promise you, it's only for an instant, and the vicious cycle will continue. Cut all contact now....if you're at that point of really letting go . You have the capability of blocking emails, phone numbers, etc. It's a matter of genuinely being able to want that. It took me forever, but blocking helps- then you can't be hurt by them not contacting you. Which is obviously what you are yearning for. good luck. Follow your gut- be true to you. It will keep you attached if you keep checking. It's a way to still feel somewhat connected (but in reality isn't connection at all).

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Thanks for all your advice! The weird thing is I don't expect anything from her, but I check anyway - madness.

 

You sound right star111. I hadn't thought of it as a connection. I must be checking as I refuse to admit it's over. Even if she did contact me I think it would just be something negative that would make me feel worse. Thanks for making me realise that it's not worth holding out hope. I need to stop checking, as I don't want to be hurt by her again, therefore I don't want to hear from her. Ahh logic really goes out the window when love is involved.

 

I really need to block her on facebook as well. I am thinking that it takes more effort to not check though, and if I can manage that then maybe I'll be doing better. I have loads of photos of her as well which I want to delete, but some of them are really nice pictures.

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I dont even bother to check if she's called, txt or sent any e-mails anymore. 5 weeks NC for me has helped me to get to this stage, but i too was obsessively checking all of those things when we first split up, right up until i decided to go NC in fact.

 

It gets easier, i dont really expect her to contact me now, but of course that is when she probably will!

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I have loads of photos of her as well which I want to delete, but some of them are really nice pictures.

 

I wouldn't delete all your pictures of her, just put them somewhere you wont look for a while, I think you would regret that. I never deleted any pictures of my ex g/f, i just dont look at them, i know for a fact I would definitely regret that. We were together 6 years and 90% of the relationship was great, in my opinion anyway, so I wouldn't want to forget those memories.

 

Just my opinion though, do whatever you feel is right.

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I also obsessively checked my e-mail after getting dumped. Don't worry, the compulsion will leave your body soon enough. It just takes time, unfortunately. Keeping busy is the best advice I can think of. But I know how it is, you can't be busy 24/7. You just have to realize that you will feel like dirt sometimes, and that's OK.

 

I'd also strongly recommend you to block the ex on facebook. Best thing I ever did for my healing process.

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