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My boyfriend broke up with me about five days and I'm devastated. We dated for 17 months and about 8 months ago he cheated on me. I took him back and things were great for about 5 months and then got a little rocky. I never was able to trust him completely and was bothered by small things he did. I really do love him and he tried to make me trust him. He disconnected himself from a lot of things he used to do, like being a camp counselor, talking to a lot of the girls he used to and playing a lot of tennis. I always wanted him to do these things because I didn't want him to feel like he's missing out just because he's with me. The last month has been hard on me as my parents are separating and my dad has a lot of health issues and money problems. I've been under a lot of stress and me and my ex started arguing a lot more than usual. I was set off by small things he said and couldn't stop fighting as much as he tried to get me to stop. He was very understanding of my situations and helped me out a lot. Last week when I was at his house we got into a fight and before I knew it he broke up with me. I was in shock as it happened so suddenly. He said that he couldn't handle the fights and wanted to be single. He missed being able to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. I guess I can understand that but I cant help but being heartbroken and wanting to just go back to the way things used to be.

 

please help.

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First off, welcome to ENA. I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Breakups are the hardest and most painful things. But, we're here for you! How are you doing? Where do you see things going from here? Is he disconnecting himself from you completely and moving on?

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Hey juju. Welcome to ENA.

 

First of all, I'm sorry about the breakup. I know it is really hard, especially right after it happens. It's natural for us girls to just want to take them back when they clearly don't want us anymore because we are more likely to be emotionally invested in the relationship. This is your grieving stage and you just need to work it out before you move on. Respect his wishes and try not to beg for him to be back in your life. All you need to do right now is to get the hurt out of your system.

 

Again, I'm sorry about the breakup and I'm wishing you all the best once you move on past this.

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When your boyfriend is telling you that he wants to be single and do whatever he wants and whenever he wants, this means that he wants to be single. He is not ready to commit in a relationship. This is why he cheated you on the first place. I am a guy and I've been there before. Even though I didn't cheat on my girlfriend, I wanted to be single and have fun. At that stage, your ex is not ready to be in a relationship. He wants to date around and meet new people. You should not try to get back with him because his mentality is not being in a relationship right now. You should definitely let him go for good before you hurts you even more. I hope this helps. If you need someone to talk to, let me know.

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Thank you all. Yes he is disconnecting himself from me. He hasn't tried to contact me on his own. His family never supported our relationship as we have different religions. I dont know if i even want to get back with him or if I am just so hurt and surprised right now and did not like how things ended. I have tried to surround myself with family friends work and school but I can't do anything. I have no desire to do anything and feel disconnected from everyone.

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Hey juju. Welcome to ENA.

 

First of all, I'm sorry about the breakup. I know it is really hard, especially right after it happens. It's natural for us girls to just want to take them back when they clearly don't want us anymore because we are more likely to be emotionally invested in the relationship. This is your grieving stage and you just need to work it out before you move on. Respect his wishes and try not to beg for him to be back in your life. All you need to do right now is to get the hurt out of your system.

 

Again, I'm sorry about the breakup and I'm wishing you all the best once you move on past this.

 

How do i get the hurt out of my system

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Getting "hurt" out of your system will take time juju, but what you can do to ease the pain is to go out and keep yourself busy. Go shopping and make yourself look good. It's the time to explore and do whatever you want. If you start missing him, just think of all the times that he has cause you pain and sorrow. Keep your head up, things can only get better from now on.

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