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He asked me for my honesty and I lied.


jab788

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When my fiance and I were still in college (but not engaged yet), I found out from my friend Dan that he and my fiance were looking at topless photos of Dan's girlfriend. I wasn't extremely angry, but pretty bothered nonetheless. I asked my boyfriend "How would you like it if I flashed Dan?" And he replied with an attitude "Go ahead I don't care."

 

So, later when it was just me and Dan in the room I flashed him. I got my revenge. It was a pretty immature thing to do, but hey. I was immature. I immediately felt bad about it and asked Dan not to mention anything. I should also add that Dan is one of my best friends.

 

Later on Dan decided to text me saying "Hey remember when you flashed me?" and my boyfriend saw it. When he confronted me about it and asked me if it was true, I made up an elaborate lie. I told him it was an accident and I didn't purposefully flash him. I blamed it on a wardrobe malfunction. He even asked if it was on that specific night, noting that he knew I was mad at him for looking at topless pictures of Dan's g/f. I denied it all. So anyway, after I lied he kept saying things like "Well I know you'd never lie to me. I trust you completely." And that was the end of it. That was six months ago.

 

So what's bothering me isn't that I flashed Dan, that was stupid and he's a good friend of mine anyway. That's not the issue. What's bothering me is that I flat out lied when my fiance confronted me. I don't even know why I lied, I could have told the truth and I don't think he would have even been really mad. But I do think he'll be mad that I lied to him.

 

Should I come clean and risk losing his trust? That's the only lie I've ever told him and I would hate to ruin the trust he has for me because of one stupid lie. Plus, this whole conversation happened 6 months ago, so I feel like maybe it should just be water under the bridge. Still, the guilt. The guilt is killing me. But is coming clean in order to relieve guilt a good reason to fess up? It's only going to hurt him, and probably hurt our relationship. I learned a lot from this and I know I will not lie to him flat out like that again. What do you all think?

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I think you should tell him the truth. Im just worried that your fiance might mention the "accidental" flash to your friend and the truth will come out. He might not have a good reaction, but Id think/hope he'd appreciate your honesty down the road... after he's cooled off.

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There's more pride on going back on yourwords.

Sure telling the truth may rock the boat, but tell him your explanation.

 

The thing is whether your fiance was getting off, looking at topless pics of Dan's GF.

 

But whether you will get that out of him or not is just like when you lied.

Reason being is no one wants to upset each other.

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I told him tonight. He wasn't mad, he just feels betrayed.. by both me and Dan. He seemed fine before we hung up. He told me not to worry my little head and he just needed some time to get over it. I sent him the Fields of Europe arrangement from 1800 Flowers. So the good news is he's fine and still wants to marry me, the bad news is I'm out $50.

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