Jump to content

I have feelings for my best friend! i need some advice!


Recommended Posts

i have known her for about 5 years, and we are the absolute greatest of friends. we both have boyfriends whom we've been with for quite sometime. im 20 and she is roughly 6 years older than me. well, we've recently begun to hang out a lot more. we used to hang out like this, but i got a boyfriend, and we kind of drifted. but we've since reconnected. we hang out basically every night. we are very close. the BEST of friends.

 

now, i've had feelings for girls in the past, but never acted on them. and i dont really know about her experiences with girls, i really dont know if she has had any at all. but anyway, i've started to feel something lately. and it's quite strong. i'm not sure exactly what it is. i just know that its very different from how i normally feel about her. its beyond the way best friends feelings should be. it's not like i want to have some sort of exclusive relationship with her, i'm just curious to maybe, kiss her, or fool around.. or something. i dunno. i'm not into anything like "hardcore", i feel like i just want to have a small level of intimacy with her.

 

I dont know what to do about these feelings! they are so, so so strong though! i dont want to ignore them. but i also dont want to do anything to hurt our beautiful friendship. im so scared that if i tell her, it will ruin this amazing friendship we have, because our friendship is truly special to me. i mean, she is my best friend, and i am hers, and a part of me thinks that she won't push me away if i tell her, because we are such great friends. but there is just that little part that thinks, what if she does push me away. and im terrified of that! but i want to tell her sooo bad! i hate keeping this inside. i tell her everything, like, everything! and i feel like i should share this with her too!

 

i guess im looking for input, advice, anything really. tell me im crazy and to bury these feelings, tell me something, anything, because i'm completely lost!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I dunno, I tend to think that you are trying to minimize your feelings by saying you just want a small level of intimacy, mind you it always starts that way imo.

 

That being said, there is a lot of potential for hurt feelings by bi-curious people just wanting to experiment the only advice I can give you is not to enter into anything by making false promises, either explicitly or by omission. That mean's telling people your full intentions rather than assuming they are aware of them, yeah?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This happened with me and my BFF TOO! But we didn't have boyfriends and it started after we hooked up together while drunk. Anyway... I remember my friend randomly said to me "I think I might be a little bi" and we talked about being bi and bi-curious and of course our hook-up. But it started with her innocently mentioning that she thinks she might be a little attracted to girls... So maybe give that a go? If you play it off cool and confused, she might guts it up and admit she's curious.. or maybe she's not curious.

 

Out of curiosity... do you consider yourself bi, bi-curious, hetero-flexible? I only ask because I thought it might help if 1. you knew what you are and 2. you are out about whatever you are. If that makes sense!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Out of curiosity... do you consider yourself bi, bi-curious, hetero-flexible? I only ask because I thought it might help if 1. you knew what you are and 2. you are out about whatever you are. If that makes sense!

 

umm, i'm not really sure what to call it. i've never had a relationship with a girl before, i had a one time thing with a girl when i was younger, but thats pretty much the only experience i've ever had. however, i've always been strongly a attracted to girls. but i'm not out. no one really knows about it (i actually just recently told my boyfriend).

anyway... i like the idea of bringing it up in the way that your friend did. but i'm still terrified of what her reaction will be to me telling her that i think i'm bi. i feel like she won't be too weirded out by it, but i'm afraid to take that chance! then i think, if i tell her, what if she realizes that i'm feeling something for her and gets freaked out? i want to tell her so bad, but i'm scared.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Okay, well certainly i don't mean to imply at all that having these sorts of feelings are bad or unnatural or that you shouldn't explore them, BUT... you have a boyfriend! cheating is cheating whether it's with another guy or your bff.... at least in my opinion! i would highly advise that before you take any action on this you assess your current relationship and decide whether or not that's something you want to continue. if it is, then he has to be on board with you doing this, too! and if you don't, then i think it's only fair to break things off with things first... not to spoil your fun or anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...