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Gut feeling about new "fling"...she cancelled tonight.


furiouspsych

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Fling is a really bad word for it, but oh well. Things are feeling weird lately with the girl I've been "dating" for a couple weeks. She's probably the only gal I've dated that is more shy than me. We hang out when I initiate it, about twice a week. As I've said before, we work at the same agency and I've been trying to take it slow basically by not having sex w/ her...I'm sure it would happen if I tried. I'm thinking sex = making a decision as to whether we become "official" or not.

She stayed the night Saturday, we went out and had a lot of fun...but something is different when we're not together now. Her messages are shorter and not as flirty. She's still all about us hanging out and making out, we have plans for v-day, but something just feels different in our communication between times we see each other. We rarely talk on the phone, I don't have a cell yet and she prefers texting. I might b making something out of nothing, but my gut feeling is usually pretty accurate... yet I don't know what exactly it is that I'm feeling. I know that I'm putting too much of my happiness on what happens w/ her, but she doesn't know that.

 

She put her status as "lost, sad, confused, frustrated...I hate times like these." Now we haven't had any disagreements and we wrote each other nice, normal messages after she left yesterday, and tonight she may come over to watch a movie.

*Update* She just wrote to say she doesn't feel like going out tonight and just wants to go home and 'be a girl.' * * * Didn't I tell ya my gut is rarely wrong?? I wrote a message saying I hope I'm not causing her drama w/ this, and that she shouldn't feel pressured by me if she wants to date someone. Not sure if that was a good move or not and I'm very interested in her response, b/c this will be the first time we've discussed "us."

 

(i meant "canceled" in title btw)

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'Cancelled' is the right spelling if you're in the UK or other countries outside of the US - so don't worry about that!

 

Does sound like she's getting cold feet or confused. I doubt there's much you can do other than wait and see how she reacts/continues from here. I think your message was good.

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Cold feet, that's a good word for it. She still hasn't wrote back yet, but I'm thinking it's either: 1. She needs to know if we're serious.

2. There's another guy in the picture and she's not sure what "we" are.

3. It's something else... lol

 

Maybe ppl have been telling her it's a bad idea.. combined with me not showing any commitment..guess I'll see. I know there's nothing I can really do at this point but wait.

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I honestly never thought it'd be #3...that SHE wouldn't want a relationship. I'm glad I never asked! I'm so shocked tho, but we will hang out only as friends from here on out. I can't believe how fast this happened and then faded even faster. Someone must've talked her out of it, b/c she obviously likes me from the time we've spent together...she doesn't spend the night w/ random guys and I'm the first she's kissed since her ex 5 months ago. I'm disappointed tho...it was fun while it lasted.

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I honestly never thought it'd be #3...that SHE wouldn't want a relationship. I'm glad I never asked! I'm so shocked tho, but we will hang out only as friends from here on out. I can't believe how fast this happened and then faded even faster. Someone must've talked her out of it, b/c she obviously likes me from the time we've spent together...she doesn't spend the night w/ random guys and I'm the first she's kissed since her ex 5 months ago. I'm disappointed tho...it was fun while it lasted.

 

Sorry to hear that. I think she might still have feelings for her ex. I think she likes you but, she's just not ready to start a new "relationship."

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It's a good thing in the end, b/c I never would've been able to slow or stop our progress and I didn't want to be in a relationship either. She hasn't talked to her ex and whenever he was brought up, she had nothing good to say about him.

 

I'm glad we'll be able to hang out and it didn't end bad like it probably would've if we'd dated. The shock is wearing off...it was just unexpected, I thought I'd be making that decision, but again, I probably would've let it play out b/c I'm reckless w/ dating, so it worked out.

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