Jump to content

someone stop me!


Recommended Posts

I feel like I want to talk to her, beg her, tell her how I feel. Tell her how much I miss her, remind her of everything we used to do together. I know I shouldn't talk to her right now.

 

I am starting to realize that it is over, she is never coming back. Everything I have done for her has been a waste. All the great times we have shared are over, never going to happen again.

 

I can't stand this feeling, I feel so lost. I feel like I can't go on without her. She makes me so happy and I love her more than anything. How can I get her off my mind!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like I want to talk to her, beg her, tell her how I feel. Tell her how much I miss her, remind her of everything we used to do together. I know I shouldn't talk to her right now.

 

I am starting to realize that it is over, she is never coming back. Everything I have done for her has been a waste. All the great times we have shared are over, never going to happen again.

 

I can't stand this feeling, I feel so lost. I feel like I can't go on without her. She makes me so happy and I love her more than anything. How can I get her off my mind!!

 

Heya mate,

 

I feel your pain. I wish there was something magical I can say but I know now that there isn't. I wished for the magic word for many days but I didn't find it.

 

One thing that I did tell myself that my feelings and my thought are mine to own. She does not own that experience either, it was shared experience. And one day, one day far from now I WILL look back and go...aw yeah..I remember her...I remember how we used to be. That was nice.

 

Another thing I have told myself is that IF I want her back then I have to be a better me. I have to improve and work on the areas of my life that I feel need improving. So...I picture us meeting up accidently years from now in some fairytale sort of scenario (that will no doubt never happen but does have every chance) and we meet again as two complete people. In that sense this is my walk abouts. This is my time to let go and find myself. Learn about me and become someone I enjoy spending time with. Be the whole me. Then she may come into my life. Or better still...I will meet someone who really does care about me and wants to be with me, not the fantasy.

 

oh I do ramble.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I hope I can look back at our relationship and not feel terrible one day. I would love more than anything to get her back but I don't see that ever happening. We have been through so much together it's so hard thinking about it.

 

I keep thinking about everything we used to do together and it is making me feel so sick

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There must be some sort of obscure emotion inducing radiation from the galaxy cluster 'Pain' hitting the planet these days.

 

I'm in the exact same state of sorrow. Again.

 

I can say nothing except that you have my most heartfelt compassion. Hope you find a way out of this hell soon. I'm resigned to stay here. Don't recommend doing that.

 

h.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There must be some sort of obscure emotion inducing radiation from the galaxy cluster 'Pain' hitting the planet these days.

 

I'm in the exact same state of sorrow. Again.

 

I can say nothing except that you have my most heartfelt compassion. Hope you find a way out of this hell soon. I'm resigned to stay here. Don't recommend doing that.

 

h.

 

I wish I could say this is the first time I felt such intense pain but unfortuntely it's not. I have stipudly dragged myself into 'hopeless' fantasy's with online loves - twice. Sickening. But yeah...lots of pain going around.

 

hope you too feel better soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just hold on buddy. Give it some time and the emotions will clear from your head and your rational mind will return. In the past, I had to delete her number from my phone to reduce temptation and have my email and facebook passwords changed (so that I didnt know what it was).

 

One of the geniuses on this site said, 'to do nothing, u can do no wrong.' Just keep telling yourself that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just hold on buddy. Give it some time and the emotions will clear from your head and your rational mind will return. In the past, I had to delete her number from my phone to reduce temptation and have my email and facebook passwords changed (so that I didnt know what it was).

 

One of the geniuses on this site said, 'to do nothing, u can do no wrong.' Just keep telling yourself that.

 

her number has been deleted as of a few hours ago, good thing because I think I would have already broken down and sent her a text. I think my main problem is going to be facebook. I already hid her updates so I will no longer see them but I can't bring myself to delete her from my friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am feeling all of you guys pain. Unfortunately, I am not as strong as you guys. I cannot push that delete button on my phone. I would like to share something with you guys. I found this anonymous advice very useful. PLEASE READ IT. IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

 

 

"I've been on this site for almost four months now. When I found it, I was sure that absolutely no one in the world had ever, or would ever, experience the pain that I was feeling after my break up. Funny. I found a virtual world full of folks who have gone through and experienced the same things and felt the same feelings that I did. That helped a lot.

 

So, for all you newbies who ask the questions, "Will the hurting ever stop," or "Will my ex come back," or "Why did he/she do this," this is how it typically goes down.

 

You two break up--doesn't matter who does it. You immediately panic and begin chasing, begging, pleading, harrassing, phoning, e-mailing, IMing, stalking (okay not all of them, just pick whichever one you did). Most of us will likely do some things during this stage that will make you cringe when you think back on it, say after about 3 months.

 

You lose weight. You neglect yourself, your house, your job (how many hours do we all log on this site while we are at work?). You drive your friends and family crazy talking about the break up. You cry at the drop of a dime. You can't even comprehend that your life might not again include that "special person." You begin putting them on a pedestal, forgetting all of the nagging things about them that used to drive you crazy. In your mind, they have become omnipotent, all encompasing, all everything.

 

You convince yourself that you are a loser who just screwed up a relationship with "the best person in the world." You KNOW without a doubt that you will never EVER love like that again. You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex (excuse me while I chuckle to myself here). You wear a sad face for the world to see (you should see my work ID taken 2 days after my breakup, it's just pitiful).

 

They (the ex's) remain steadfast in their denial to get back together. Many of them leapfrog into new relationships, immediately being exclusive with a new person. For those that do leapfrog, they appear to just "replace" you with a new model. All of the things you two used to do, they now do with someone else. Bowling, cuddling watching television, motorcycle riding, antiquing. Whatever you two did, likely they will just begin doing those things with someone new.

 

You hear about them and their new life. You are desperate for any crumbs of news about their life. Many of us make things worse here by trying to use manipulation to get them back--yet they stay away from us like we are the plague.

 

For those of us who do still have contact with our ex's we begin selling ourselves short. Doing stupid things like allowing them access to our bodies and then wanting to strangle them afterward when they remind us that "Sex does not imply hope."

 

You, in further panic mode, begin frantically searching the internet using phrases such as "break ups," "divorce stopper," whatever. You stumble upon this site, pay your money because your curious and lo and behold, you find all of us folks in various stages of this whole breakup bullsh*t.

 

You voraciously read the posts. You search for news of those who "got their mates back." You're on the site constantly. You'll read the books and think "Ah I can do this. I can get this person back." You begin your "no contact" and for some of us, this will get a reaction from our ex's. For the rest, no contact is and will continue to be what you'll get and receive.

 

Time goes by. You'll do some stupid things. You'll call your ex when you shouldn't. You'll call when you've had to much to drink. You'll call even after 50 people on this site tell you not to. You'll show up on their doorstep, hating yourself all the time. Then you'll come back to this site and ask everyone to tell you why you were so stupid as to do whatever it was you did.

 

Then you'll get serious about no contact. It'll hurt, but you try to stick to it. Here's the turning point for most. For those folks who have contact with their ex's, your no contact will either bring them sniffing curiously around or they'll be somewhere high fiving their friends thanking the God's that you haven't called.

 

Now's the tough time. Nothing but time works. Everday the ache in your heart grows a little less. It's only nanobits that it dies down by. But everyday it will get slowly better. You'll have setbacks. You'll run into your ex accidently. You'll run into mutual friends who'll tell you something about your ex that'll have you high-tailing it home for a good cry. You'll see your ex with their new "friend." You'll receive a phone call or an e-mail from your ex who "doesn't want to be in a relationship but still wants to be friends (with benefits if you allow).

 

Here's another important part. You need to truly sit down and truthfully look back at the relationship and understand what you did to help with it's demise. If you miss this part, you go through all the suffering for nothing because Buddy, you'll be back here again. This site is to teach you about you. To teach you how to be a better partner, a better person. Missing that lesson is detrimental to the whole process. It's the REASON that you're going through this. God (or whatever your higher power is) needed you to learn something about YOU. Don't miss out on the lesson.

 

Then one day you'll smile because you didn't immediately check your answering machine when you came in. And one day you'll decide to clean the muck that has accumulated in your house. And one day you'll go outside and admit to the universe that you surrender what control you thought you had.

 

And one day you'll decide to date again. And one day you'll go out on your first date and it will likely be a disaster. And then you'll either force yourself to continue dating or you'll decide that you aren't ready to date but you are ready to be out amongst people again. And many of you will have some quick reconcillations with your ex's. Many of us won't. But one day, it won't matter as much. Because time will allow you to catch yourself going minutes and then hours without thinking of the ex. And you'll begin to be able to think of life possibly without that person and not dissolve into a puddle of nothingness because of the thought.

 

And for most of us, sadly, life will go on without that mate. That's the truth, amigos. Don't want to dash your hopes but probably less than 3% of the people on this site get back with their mates. Sobering isn't it? But, as the site instructs, you must accept this before you can truly begin to heal or draw your ex back to you. For the lucky (maybe unlucky one's depending on how much work it will take to keep a mate that has wandered back) who get back with their ex's, many will find that the paradise they envisioned isn't reality and what they once thought was gold has a certain tarnish to it now. But they stay and try and make it work because it's comfortable or, if they are really lucky, it's meant to be.

 

But for most of us. Life goes on. And one day you'll find yourself having a gut busting laugh over something totally stupid and you'll think to yourself "I am getting better." And finally (thank God) you'll have sex with some new and find that a) if it wasn't good, at least you did it or b) it was so much better than with your ex you wonder why you waited so long to get back out there. And you'll know you're one the road to recovery.

 

I guess what I'm trying to convey here is, while each situation is unique, the characteristics of most of our situations are the same. Most of us will go through at least something that I've written here. So, when someone tells you on this site that time will help you get through it, believe them. When they tell you that "trust me, it will get better and you will stop hurting eventually," believe them. And when they give you good advice that your head understands but your heart rejects, take a moment to think before you react.

 

Don't beat yourself up if you do something that you wished you hadn't (calling, contacting, etc) WE ALL DID AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. Be kind to yourself. Be forgiving of yourself. And most of all remember that being happily single is an alternative. Even if society is beating it into your head that you MUST have a mate, take some time to heal before going back out there. There are plenty of good people to love, but don't go back out there broken, jaded about love, etc. Accept realty. Experience the pain. Learn the lesson. Actively try to heal. Remember the person you were when you first met your ex and get that person back.

 

And the universe will take care of the rest."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know the exact same thing has happened to me, but I am just hangin in here, TIme is deff Helping! Give it time, It will help you become stronger..Almost 3 months here and I feel better each day....What I did was erace his# and everything from mind..If will help... each time you feel Like calling her BE STRONG!!! Good Luck!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Valentines day is around the corner so the constant reminders are everywhere

 

ha don't even get me started thinking about v-day. I think I just might try to sleep all day on vday.

 

You KNOW without a doubt that you will never EVER love like that again. You know no one else will come along who even comes close to being as marvelous as your ex

 

This is the part I'm trying to get past...I'm sure that feeling will go away but as of right now I just can't possibly imagine meeting anyone who can come close to being as amazing as she was. This is definitely one of the hardest things for me

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You know the exact same thing has happened to me, but I am just hangin in here, TIme is deff Helping! Give it time, It will help you become stronger..Almost 3 months here and I feel better each day....What I did was erace his# and everything from mind..If will help... each time you feel Like calling her BE STRONG!!! Good Luck!!

 

I really hope I feel stronger soon, I feel so weak right now and I would do anything to talk to her. it has been exactly 3 weeks since we've broken up. thanks and good luck to you too!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Go hang out with your friends! Make new friends! Walk around drive anywhere go to the mall if u have too. I'm sure if u look back there were things u must have wanted to do but didn't because of her.

Now is your chance to do that I realized this because my gf left me but I always wanted to do better and she somehow stopped me now I realize I can get through this and I have full control over what I do and feel... U need to analize things and look at all the bad things that she did or said because at one point it was not all great or u woudlny be here.. My break uo sucks but there are things I need to change before I consider to even get back with her... And yes I begged I cried but after some reality I saw that things will still keep going the world will still turn and the only choice u have is to turn with it n get better as a person or sit there and stay behind n cry which will only make u feel worse because I was there!

 

Sometimes u gotta say what the f&ck and let them go!

Love is not easy to find let her go her way and see that!

 

I hope that helps

Link to comment
Share on other sites

im still in your position, and it has been 4 months. i still lie awake at night, thinking i could have done things differently, she gave me all the signs she wasnt happy, we talked about it. talked about how to fix things. i now realize how badly this has screwed me over. there was 3 things very wrong with me, that ruined the relationship.

 

-reading the book "Codependant no more".. this book was practically written about me. and she was guilty of lots of it as well. read it, it may help.

-i was suffering from Mayday's version of The Grass is Greener Syndrome.

-i suffer from depression.

 

now i realize i had a girl that was okay with all of this, who would have always stayed faithful, never stray, was so honest and compassionate. and the little things that bugged me were absolute non-sense. for some reason i kept looking at other girls, felt tied down and bored. now im not even interested in the girls i once wanted. i just want my ex back.

 

 

5 years wasted of something stupid, grew up with her from 19-24. its going be a long road ahead from here, and i have lots of work to do. and i would like to tell you it gets easier, but your on the right path. i kept having hope. kept coming to these boards for answers. there is no answer. like sucks, we make stupid decisions that can affect our lives in such a negative way that sometimes you feel like you can't go on.

 

 

knowing what i know now, i could make her the happiest girl, but shes moved on after 1 month and it made me feel sick. do everything you can to get her off your mind. the longer you hang on the longer the healing process will take. after 4 months i feel like i just started all over again after trying to reconcile and getting shot down.

 

and no matter what anyone says, no matter how many times your friends try to help you out, or whatever. nothing will make you feel better. follow the n\c rule and move on. im giving advice i can't follow myself, but i do know it is the best advice anyone can give.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If that's you on your avatar I'm pretty sure you won't be single for long .

 

The funny thing about that is that I don't want to date anyone else. I have a lot of offer, but I am in love with my ex. I really want to get over him, but I feel like he is the perfect one for me and no one else can compare to him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The funny thing about that is that I don't want to date anyone else. I have a lot of offer, but I am in love with my ex. I really want to get over him, but I feel like he is the perfect one for me and no one else can compare to him.

 

I suppose you've just got to give it time. "Times a healer" as they say.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

you never know what you have until you lose it i guess. I treated her great but there were always the stupid arguments and things that happened. Thanks for the book suggestion, i just may check it out.

 

The first week was hard, second week was fine, third week was strangely ok.

Now it is the first day of week four and I've already crashed which is my main reason for getting back on here. NC started today also, I have to do it and hopefully I can keep up with it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel like I want to talk to her, beg her, tell her how I feel. Tell her how much I miss her, remind her of everything we used to do together. I know I shouldn't talk to her right now.

 

I am starting to realize that it is over, she is never coming back. Everything I have done for her has been a waste. All the great times we have shared are over, never going to happen again.

 

I can't stand this feeling, I feel so lost. I feel like I can't go on without her. She makes me so happy and I love her more than anything. How can I get her off my mind!!

 

it won't matter. If she could empathize with your pain, she'd be talking to you and you wouldn't have to beg.

 

I know how you feel. Years of begging didn't matter and it also didn't stop him from the sex with me either. Nothing matters. Let's let go together.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...