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Looking to mend a broken heart


athena3

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Hi all,

 

I'm not very good at this but I'm at a low moment right now and feel I need some advice/support.

 

My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago. In hindsight, our relationship was headed towards that path, though I hoped and wished it wouldn't. I'm the type of person who will always try if i love someone, even if it's no longer the right thing for us both.

 

We had a tumultuous year, the first half was great, as usual, but then he had to go far away for his phd for 5 months...and that is when things started to deteriorate. we got into more frequent fights, the fights revolved around issues of him not giving me enough time...and i think the more fights we got into, the less inclined he was to give me time. he also got more and more busy with work...he's a very ambitious guy.

 

so now he's returned from his trip and was back for a week.

 

anyway, the night before we broke up, he told me tenderly that he loved me. the next morning, we woke up, and...i'd have to admit, i was cold, and we got into another argument...at which point he got really silent and then told me he doesn't love me anymore and doesn't see a future. i'm trying to accept this, yet i'm bombarded by his contradictions. countless times he's told me i'm the one for him and he's never felt this way before, that we would get through our fights.

 

i'm hopelessly believing that we may have a future, that he thought what we had was worth it. we did love each other, and i know he felt stronger for me than he had for anyone before. yet, things have changed, he really would like to focus on his phd, he works long hours and is willign to put his life on hold for it.

 

...is there any..advice out there for me? what i should do? or if anyone out there has experienced something similar and would like to share.

 

thanks for reading up to this point...if you have, i couldn't help babbling!

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stay NC for starters.

 

if you dont have any plans, make some!

the last thing you want now is to be alone.

 

when your alone your mind will wander, and what will it wander into?

yep the past of course!

 

this forum will help you out so much. i spent the last 4 days reading posts and it inspired me to go NC and work on myself for myself ( and for my daughter )

 

make new friends. and what better place to start than here? when there is an abbundance of friendly people waiting to help you in every step you take!

 

but stick to NC infact go take a look at the NC challenge if not already!

 

good luck.

 

Leon!

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thanks for your kind words Leon.

 

I overanalyze all too often and I just need to get my mind to stop hashing and rehashing details of the breakup. I think I need to work on myself for myself too. and I'll check out this NC challenge you mentioned.

 

good luck to you too

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