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just need some support


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My girlfriend broke up with me three weeks ago and it's just now hitting me pretty hard. We were together for a year and a half. She was everything to me, we did everything and had so much fun together. she was my best friend but it still had to end. Things just started getting hard again, so bad I ended up begging her to meet with me today, which has just made her not want to talk even more.

 

So beginning now I need to do everything I can to not talk to her and leave her alone. Hopefully everyone on here will help me through this hard time.

 

Thanks a lot!

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Hey mate,

 

It is going to be tough. My and my ex broke up just after new years and I seem to be getting worse right now. I am sure it will get better - because everyone says so.

 

Good luck mate You can do it.

 

Thanks for the support! I hope all is well with your situation also

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Thanks for the support! I hope all is well with your situation also

 

Cheers mate. It's not well, no and I seem to go into 'negative' thought cycles about it all. Self pity and all that - I just tell myself it is ok, because it is. Still a fresh wound.

 

Been listening to this all day

 

Not sure if it picks me up or makes me feel sad lol, I like it though.

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Cheers mate. It's not well, no and I seem to go into 'negative' thought cycles about it all. Self pity and all that - I just tell myself it is ok, because it is. Still a fresh wound.

 

We'll make it. it's going to be hard. I pretty much try to avoid all music at the moment. everything seems to make me think of her. We both listen to a lot of the same things so everything reminds me of her

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Hey, you are not alone in this, I know its hard. Letting go is one of the most difficult things you have to do.Its going to take all your strength for this. But if I may help you and if you want, you can do this and maybe others can agree, disagree or add to this.

Dont beat yourself up over the relationship. Dont think why or how, or what if, maybe I should of done this or that. You will only hurt yourself further in the end.

Cry if you have to, no need to be strong, you are hurt, let it out.

Put everything she gave you away, dont throw them out, just put them all in a box, letters, cards, lil toy animals, notes, everything, just put them in a box, tape it up and store it. Sometimes out of sight out of mind works.

Delete her number, texts, pictures from your phone. You can back them up on your computer, just get rid of them from your phone because you will be looking at your phone every few min to see if she has called or texted. (just eliminates temptation)

On your computer.. take any pictures you have, put them on a disk or just move all of them to a folder where you will not open. Make is hard for you to look at them because one day you are going to come accross a picture and its going to put you to tears. Delete all emails. Dont read them before you delete them. Just do it.

I know all that is easier said than done. I had tons of people here tell me the same thing and I didnt do it, I held out hope and in the long run, I should of just listened.

Im not saying eliminate her from your life, just putting them away so you are not reminded of her thats all.

Do not call her or text, dont email even if you really want to. If you have to say something, write them down or type your feelings out and then once you feel like you got your raw emotion out..

Call your friends, they will be your biggest support now. Lean on them, thats what friends are for.

Know you will be okay. You are probably saying Yeah right! but its true.

I know she was your ONE, your future, your love, your best friend, your partner, your everything and youll never find another or want another. Its okay, you are not alone. You will be okay, you are going to be alright. Do what you have to do to heal yourself okay? Accept that its over (for now) And right now the relationship is not about you, its about her, she needs time away from you so give her the time.

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We'll make it. it's going to be hard. I pretty much try to avoid all music at the moment. everything seems to make me think of her. We both listen to a lot of the same things so everything reminds me of her

 

Ahh yeah. I am a lot like that. We didn't listen to much music together so that hasn't been too hard. But there are many things I cannot do. Like play World of Warcraft because that was OUR hobby. This guy she has feelings for just so happens to play as well which just adds insult to injury. It just seems like he has replaced me in every single way. I feel like he has taken my entire life from me and I am powerless to stop it.

 

Argh sorry for digressing.

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Thanks for the advice No1 I will do my best to follow it. I have put away most of the things i have that remind me of her, still need to put away some pictures. Today is the beginning of my NC and luckily, she recently got a new number that I have yet to memorize so I will be deleting her number from my phone because I know I will end up doing something stupid

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I know she was your ONE, your future, your love, your best friend, your partner, your everything and youll never find another or want another.

 

I think thats the hardest part about this. She was the first girl i could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with. I thought she was the one and right now I can't imagine being with anyone else and being as happy as I am with her

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J, I know this takes a toll on you. But you are doing the right thing. And I dont mean to be mean, but you are only 20, I was 19 with my first real heartbreak and I can tell you with about 100% accuracy, you will recover from this. I would say you will meet someone else within 6months and right you are thinking No One.. you are CRAZY!!

You just do what you have to do to heal. Its over, you can go on from there, most people are still hanging on to the hope their X will come back and its a never ending battle of trying to decode text messages, phone calls, emails wondering what they mean by this or that, he/she looked at me didnt look at me, said Ill talk to you later, what does it all mean?

You can start fresh, today. You have to use your strength and its going to take a lot, to close the chapter from your life and start a new one. Again, cry when you are sad, smile when you are happy. There is no book on how to heal, just take from what other people suggest, your heart will know what is right. She is on her own, she started her new life and no reason why you cant do the same, dont think or try to think what she is doing or thinking, avoid her on facebook, myspace..etc..As long as you wonder and worry what she is doing in life, you cannot let go fully. Im with you in letting go. I am doing it also. You will have your good days and really bad days, but it will get better my friend.. If you need to vent, just email me on here.. Ill listen as everyone else here would.

Good luck on your journey my friend, I started mine last week..

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Alright home from work...

 

I understand I am still young, and I am completely ready to move on. It's just doing it is going to be very hard.

She called me tonight, and I answered (It seems i'm not very good at this NC thing...) I'm not sure why she called but I told her that we shouldn't talk and she shouldn't call me..

 

Things will get better, I know this. Being on here is going to be a major factor in whether I am able to do it or not. I really appreciate the advice from you No1 and from everyone else

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Why do I feel like i'm doing the wrong thing? She was willing to talk to me and I told her that we shouldn't. I mean I know the right thing is to stop talking but I want to talk to her so badly. I'm so confused by all of this

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The best advice my sister gave me is this: Everything you think you want to do right now is the wrong thing to do.

 

Delete, block, distract, distract, distract. It's the only way. I let myself "innocently" stay in touch with my ex, but I only ended up with my heart shattered in more pieces and a longer grieving process. This is a rough journey and I know exactly how you feel. You'll probably realize how important NC is after making a few mistakes... but please try and believe me when I say NC is pretty much the only way, for the heart broken.

 

Keep venting on here!!!

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She is must making sure that you are still there. If something happens, you are still there for her. I dont think she is meaning to confuse you. But you will get to that stage where I said you are going to decode, analyze, confuse, look at, wonder, think about every single word she says to you. In other words, you are beating yourself up.

You are her security blanket now. She is hurting much like you, but she wants love from you with nothing to give back.

I know you want her. But you said its done, you said this is what? The second time and no, you cant go back. What you have to do is give her time. Im not saying its over for good, just over for now.

She has to realize a life without J.. it has to hit her when she figures out you are not there in her life. Let her grow up a little. If it was ment to be, it was ment to be. But for now, let her know that you cannot be there for her as much as you like to. She will see. And either work hard to get you back, or not work hard at all.

Then you know.. but you said earlier, it was done. So dont let her hang on to you anymore. You dont even have to tell her, just ingnore her and she will figure it out. Next time she calls, dont freaking answer!! Its the best advice you will get tonight. LOL

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Well the thing is that we want to eventually be friends, we have been through so much together and neither of us want to lose each completely. She said she wants to talk a little so she doesn't lose me as a friend, so I'm kind of confused whether to stop talking altogether, or talk just a little? I really would love to have her as a friend but I know that would take a long time before that could happen.

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