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*So my joy ride finally ended.. Advice needed*


Lastchallenge

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Hello everyone I hope you are all doing well. I'm really goad I found this place It really helps and helped me in this time of need.

 

So me n my wife have been married 6 months and we have beeen together 4 years. I met her at a store and we hit it off I got her number and we talked and within a month became gf and bf I had a gf at the time and we were trying to get back together but I met this girl and well it worked.

 

We were inseperable and had a great time except I was having financial problems and family problems all at the same time. She saw this and went through this and even helped. The x had also called her and tried to scare her away but that didn't work I knew I loved her!

 

So flash forward I get my life in better shape I start working again and make more money and decide to build my 1970 dodge challenger and the wholetime I'm driving a beat up car just to keep things going. I work long hours which I notice start bugging her yet everytime she needed money I was the one bailing her out. As we progress we start fighting about little things she always had a sharp temper and I was ok with it because I knew how she was underneath. I was the first guy she ever slept with and first guy she did many things with like spend the night and even stayed with me in the car onc when my aunt kicked me out... Like I said we went through alot.

 

So about 6 months ago we get in a big fight and she says let's get married after the fight cause we had made up. I said no! She said I love u and I want to.... I told her no because if i do it's gonna be forever! I don't believe in divorce! She said ok I want to! So were driving to the place and we get there and I don't remember what happened but she got mad and it pist me off so I said "fck this!" and I u turn and said "this is a stupid I dea I'm taking u home and don't call me" I'm done!! As ik driving to her house she stops me askew me to calm down and convinces me to marry her after all I do love this girl I always have. I did not cheat o her or even thought of...

 

We get married and with the financial situation we plan to finish my car so we can save for a house... The car was supposed to be finished feb 11 her b day 

we spent new years together and everything was fine but after new years suddenly we fight n fight over anythng I start feeling like I'm second place and I'm gettng fed up! So on the second Sunday of the Monty I can't find her and she won't answer her phone... When I finally get ahold of her I realize she has the stupidest excuses for not picking up! 

 

Well we fight and we end up crying togetyer in the car witg her telling meits going to be alrught and we will get through this... I can't hug her because I can't trust her at this point!

 

I get out of the car and she speeds away!  the next day she wont answer my calls or texts! I finally get ahold of her and she hangs up on me and is completely out of line! I panic so I say hey we need to talk! She refuses to talk to me so I finally go see her and she keeps her distance and tells me she's working alot from 7am-9pm and she needs her space! I think this is just a game she's playing .... Well nope! She breaks up with me ! I beg iplead I cry I do every possible stupid thing I can do or say! And she let's me walk out and drive home alone! She stays at her moms house and says shell call me and never did! The nxt day I completely went into nc! I didn't call or text and she didn't either! I finally went crazy and 13 days later I called her and she hung up on me like I'm nothing! I went to her work and we talked for an hour. All she said was she thought she loved me, want to see other people, doesn't feel anythng for me, I'll always be her friend and we can talk or text only, that I'm not who she is supposed to be with. The whole time I'm felling her I love her, miss her but I notice I don't even believe it myself so I don't cry I don't get mad and I leave after she ran inside because she was working

 

since then I have had no contact and she only text me once to say she wouldn't callme like she said n promises she would the text me on the weekedn to say that the phone bill is over minutes. I only relied "k thanks"

never got anything back!

 

I do miss her and it's been a week since we talked But I realize that all the times I neglected her and the mean things I said I never meant. She said horrible things to me and I would keep my cool but things changed! I really do not want a divorce because I believe we could make it work but I am scared of this new side of her that is able to just walk away from me with no care.

 

I really am hurt and don't know what to do or wait for I almost lost my job over this but managed to feel better after I saw her.. I know I don't love her the same but I really miss her and wish she came back so I could show her what I'm willing to do for us! I work ridiculous hours and can see why she would get mad but when she worked long hours and I was alone I didn't fuss over it. I miss her family and I miss her! We have no kids and Noe it's just me my job and this muscle car that me n her were supposed to enjoy.

I had talked to her sister and she found out and called her asap and told her to ask me why I wasn't working?! But I was working I just had a rental cR because my car broke down. This was during the 13 days we didn't speak

then her sister said I should move on because she sounds like she is confident in her decision and that she is not cheating on me and knows for a fact 

i would live tojust give it one last try and see if itcan work or not so i can walk away and just be able to say that at least i tried. If I can save just one marriage and it's mine I can sleep better at night!

 

I've been working out and have set some goals but I really feel terrible knowing she's not there to share this with me and I don't have a family so it's in the back of my head and she always has someone with her so I thik it's easier for her to move on?! How can someone or anyone throw 4 years away?!

I want to know if she feels the terrible feelings I feel everyday since I left?

I want to know if she cares? I hate this and this is the toughest thing I've ever had to go through! I feel helpless like I'm in jail and she won't call or text!

 

I know I made some mistakes but I never went over the line and she has gone so far I don't think their is a line anymore!

 

I came up with all these crazy ideas like writing a diary about us and every event or thing we didn't together and give to her..

A macaroni necklace because when her b day was coming I always told her I was broke so I made her amacaroni necklace but I'd always get her some pricy gift.. I know I spent 2000-3000 a month on my car and it bugged her but she said in the end it would be worth it.

 

What should I do?! When will the pain stop! We still have phones, insurance and car title in her name. I feel so stupid! She told her family were done and told everyone at work she doesn't want to be with me 

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She sounds serious. I really feel for you. It's not a good idea to get married right after a big fight. I know how you feel about feeling like you're in jail when you want to make contact and they respond. So painful. So sorry you're hurting. You could always ask her to see a marriage counselor with you. There was enough there to get married in the first place. Maybe you could learn to communicate without fighting. Give it a couple of weeks and ask her if she would, for the sake of the good times. Then you could both look back and know you did the best you could. Good luck.

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I asked for counseling and she thinks all that is dumb everyone says it seems serious but she always said really mean things and did really mean things then apologized after it's like the person that I met would come back but this time Im so confused it's really messin with me.. I mean one day she's trying go kiss me the next she won't call me and hangs up on me. She has alot of pride but this nc doesn't seem to be working but again it's been 1 week since I saw her this past Monday 

thanks for reading

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I feel for you man! seriously,

im in the same boat.. 5 good years together, house & kids...

 

all to end in a instant pretty much. you feel helpless and alone and that lump in your throat wont budge!!

 

its only been a few days for me but i have made sure i starting seeking legal advice on access to my daughter. she is my world!

 

keep here buddy! post 1000 times a day if u need to man, but dont run after her.

she might never return but she might miss you alot!

 

4 years is a long time! she will certainly feel theres a void in her life!

 

if she returns, start all over from day 1. like a new relationship. be strong!

 

if she dosnt, well then your becoming the person she fell for! and if 1 person can, many more can!

 

take care buddy!

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4 years is a long time! she will certainly feel theres a void in her life!

 

if she returns, start all over from day 1. like a new relationship. be strong!

 

if she dosnt, well then your becoming the person she fell for! and if 1 person can, many more can!

 

take care buddy!

 

Exactly right.

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Thanks friends. I've decided to take therapy and seek help because at this state I'm really confused. I start thinking about all the work it takes to re connect and being how I am I might not be able to trust her so I've considered that being separate and going our ways is better in some way.

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