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A note of hope to those who have lost a child...


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First I would like to say that my heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost two children. Had she lived, today would have been my daughter Ashley's 23rd birthday. She died suddenly, at just 10 1/2 months old. There was an initial time of shock, I felt like I was in my own "Twilight Zone", it was unreal. My marriage fell apart, as many do, we were completely divorced just 2 years later. I had to keep going and live as best I could because I still had my oldest daughter, and she still needed me the same as before. But there were many times I didn't feel like even going through the motions of daily living. Food had no taste, my mind had a fog of grief woven through it.

 

Some years later I remarried and in a couple of years was expecting a child when, suddenly and unexpectedly, he left me. Just a few days before our baby's due date I was informed that the marriage was over. When I went into labor, the baby died. He was stillborn at 9 months. Searching for clues, the hospital did an autopsy and concluded that he was a normal, healthy boy: cause of death "unknown". But I know what it was, it was stress and grief from me that went to him. It was overwhelming.

 

I remember lying awake at night when it felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I literally had to make myself breathe because the grief was so crushing. All I could do was pray and God heard my prayers. From the very beginning He sustained me all through these dark and lonely times. He showed Himself to me daily in innumerable ways, big and small. He sent me the right friend to talk to, birds to sing, flowers to smell, sleep when I needed it, and sunshine when darkness threatened to overtake me, peace to calm my anger, and trust to cover my fears.

 

I don't know WHY things are as they are, but I do know that I can get through ANYTHING with the help of God. And so can you. It is a fine line between life and death, and every moment of every day we have is a gift beyond our control. I don't know what the future holds, and frankly, I don't want to know. Today is enough. Take this moment to be thankful for life, no matter how painful, there will be joy for you again.

- sincerely, your friend

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God does help us through things, he truly does. So many people want to blame God whenever anything bad happens in their lives. I always tell them, this is earth, not Heavan. God shares this domain with an Evil One. Blame him for some of the bad things and turn to God to help you handle it.

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