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Why men never take women serious.


Sadman84

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This is my opinion. Just mine, but I bet some guys would agree.

 

I spent 4 out of my 5 years in college with the same woman. Only to be dumped a few weeks after she graduated. So I spent my last year figuring out who I was without a girlfriend. This was the first time I realized that you really do not know a person as well as you ever think you do.

 

Since then I've had a few relationships, nothing ever official, just dating and kissing and all that comes with it.

 

My most recent relationship involved a girl that I talked to every day for a month. Long story short, she was attention needy and would text and call me all the time. I loved it. I thought some how maybe this was the girl for me.

 

I spent this weekend where she lives (where i went to college) I went to visit her. The first night I was there she was "too tired" to hang out with me. So i hung out with some friends. The second night I was there, she left a party with one of her ex's. When I asked a mutual friend about it she told me she'd been with her ex for the past two weeks.

 

Well....I was finally taking a girl serious and she did this to me. You see it is so much easier to have one night stands, and to use women for their bodies just to leave them after I get what I want then to actually take one serious and put emotions into her.

 

So why do men treat women so badly? Cause they are scared of getting hurt.

 

My one and only goal now is to meet as many women as I can, and to take none of them serious. I know this is rude, but I'm tired of becoming the victim, and I legitimately feel like the only way I can redeem myself is to take what I feel and make as many women as I can feel like this.

 

I apologize for my words, but I had to get it off my chest. I feel sorry for any women I meet in the next few years because my first impression will not live up to what I leave them with.

 

I'm really hurting right now. I just had to write how I felt and that is it.

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I think your number one goal right now should be to take time off from dating so that you can heal from the pain that you are going through. The thing about going about things the way that you thinking about dating is that that in the long run it won't make you feel better. It will actually just leave you feeling lonely whereas deep down what you probably really want is to treat someone well and be treated well in return and to have the sort of connection that you cannot have if you go about trying to make the people you date feel badly.

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You see it is so much easier to have one night stands, and to use women for their bodies just to leave them after I get what I want then to actually take one serious and put emotions into her.

 

So why do men treat women so badly?

 

Side topic, but it's not necessary to view all women as "victims" in that scenario. There are plenty of straight women who will go for meaningless sex, etc, and aren't looking for more.

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Why do you think there has been such success with Cougar cruises now a days?

 

Like yourself OP, my first and most longterm GF left me at the same time.

There was a World for her out there and she felt she could not *cough* "experience life" to it's fullest by being as she called it "Tied down".

 

The only way she could see the World as being her oyster was by being single.

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Sorry, but this is a foolish thing to say. What you just described happens to both men and women. In fact, I'm willing to bet there are more women out there hurting because of men that the other way around. It's not about gender but about someone's personality. Just read through these forums and see how many women are treated like crap by their bfs/husbands.

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If you didn't like what women did to you why would you do it to others? Do you really want people to feel the pain you feel right now? I'm depressed and mad for no reason all the time I would never want to take it out on innocent people on purpose. I'm sorry that you're in pain but you need a healthy way to release that sadness and anger. Eventually you'll just feel guilty about how many women you've purposely hurt and that'll just create more misery.

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OP, just for the fact that you're apologizing for feeling this way, I really feel like its just your anger talking and you need to get that out. Go ahead and do it, It's not a thing.

 

Hurting other women will also hurt you tho. It will take you longer to heal, it will make you dislike yourself and push good women away. It will make you paranoid and think you deserve anything bad that comes to you later...and you will.

 

So just take all the time you need to vent and get it off of your mind. And when you're done remember you're a good guy and you should devote your time to making more suitable choices ( with the first ex- although I wouldnt call a 4 year relationship a failure. It just ended thats all- dont look at that as a bad thing) and better choices ( with the second ex, she sounded like a dip, and you really didnt spend much time with her, so no sweat )

 

Best of Luck with that. ( My plan not yours )

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I think you've just had some bad apples. Having one (or a few) bad relationship experiences doesn't mean all wo/men are like that. I personally came out of a relationship when I found my ex cheating on me, leaving it hurt and losing all trust in men. It wasn't until I found another person who opened up to me and melted my frozen heart that I learned that not all people are horrible.

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While I can sympathize with your pain from rejection, are these two incidents going to honestly affect your perception of over 3 billion women? Even if this happened to you with 10 women, it's still a rate of less than 0.0000003%.

 

We've all been hurt, most probably many more times than you've been. So should we all hate the entire opposite gender, due to the actions of a few?

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I went through a man-hating phase after two bad breakups. I became callous and cruel in the way I treated those I dated.

 

In the long run it basically gave me a bad reputation and made me feel horrible, wothless, and petty.

 

There are crappy people out there of both genders. The way to deal with it is to try to weed them out, and be the better person, not by lowering yourself to their level.

 

I still feel guilt and pain from my past behavior...and worry that my current bad luck in the romance department is from bad karma.

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es the poor treatment from someone you love has a much greater impact emotionally.

Triggering a resentment.

 

I understand this.

Making you fear getting close to another when our hearts wants such comfort.

 

So when damaged, we get that comfort from another but we still have the remnants of anger and resentment from the past to pass on to another who may or may not have deserved it.

 

All said and done, when wounds are healed and then cuts are made in the same place by someone else, the scars become more prominent causing the same behavior from the person hurt.

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As much as we say "it's women, no it's the men"..it's just personalities.

 

I can understand how you're feeling.. completely. I personally couldn't get myself to have meaningless sex. My lame a*s would get stuck to THAT girl if I did lol. Anywho, because one scumbag is lost and doesn't know how to be in healthy relationships..don't make that situation create a clone of that same person. It'll just create an on going cycle of people being used, to getting hurt, and then using other people. Then you'll have more and more people logging into sites like this due the probs we created yannow.

 

ALSO..EVERY person we talk to WILL NOT come out and say "Hey...I'm a scumbag and I'm terrible in relationships" etc. Everyone is gonna play themselves up to be a good person..ALWAYS. Now the amount of rambling about themselves can also be a redflag. If you have to explain yourself way too much, say you're this and that..8/10 they're full of it. And might know that, or haven't found themselves yet. No one wants to be seen as "bad". One thing I seen every woman I've ever dated say is "if there's a problem or I feel as if we don't vibe or if I disagree..I'll say it straight up. I speak my mind". They kind of brag about how upfront they are. BUT THEY NEVER REALLY ARE. They wind up stringing that person along once they find things they don't like. Maybe on purpose maybe not. But that one person is now in the friendzone..and can't cope or understand WHY. Which they'll NEVER get that out of that "straight up" person, they'll have arguments about how things have changed. They'll be other people he or she is interested in and pursuing..but they'll never even say THAT. Almost like they want you to assume there's another person, so you can remain confused/hanging by a thread..and waiting for that argument to pop up about the situation so they can cut that thread. Now you've fallen...

 

I'd love to say there is hope for all the good guys and women. *sigh..but I dunno. We just really gotta practice PATIENCE. And remain humble..start thinking highly of ourselves. BUT also knowing OUR wrongs. Don't judge a book by their covers..but you sure as hell can know the isle that book is in and read the back..sometimes you'll get a good jist of that story..and is up to you to keep reading.

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Sorry for being such a jerk last night. I was just in a bad place emotionally.

 

Dating should be fun, and what I was doing was not fun. I'm not out to hurt women. I'm too much of a sweet heart for that.

 

To everyone, I am cured for now. I just need time to figure out what I want and I need to communicate what I want better in my relationships, and set boundaries so I know when they are broken, I am out of there.

 

Thanks for listening.

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It seems to me that you need to spend some time being single and realize what the single life is like. Personally, I think that you shouldnt take girls serious at this point in your life. You should be having fun, of course you are going to meet a lot of girls and have fun.

 

There is no need to punish women because you are trying to guard your feelings. I do think that means that you need to think through some stuff and experience things as a single person.

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