Jump to content

amyb

Recommended Posts

I met this guy online and we had our first date about a month ago. I thought it went well and I actually really liked him. We have kept in touch through email since then, but he has not asked me out again. There is a bit of a problem: we live in different cities about 3 hours away. I drove to meet with him the first time, and I would not have a problem going again because I know my way around the city very well, and have been planning on moving there if I find a job (that is one of the reasons my online dating search was for someone from that city - Toronto).

Before our first date he had told me that if I'm ever in Toronto to let him know so we could get together. I made plans to go and told him and asked him if he wanted to get together for a coffee (so basically I asked him out first). So that's how we met for our first date. As I said, I liked him and would like to see him again but he hasn't made much effort. I know he is very busy (he has a demanding job and is also studying for his GMAT). After our date I emailed him but I didn't mention anything about the date - should I have told him that I had a good time? Maybe he thinks I didn't and that's why he hasn't asked to see me again. It could be that he's not interested in me, but then why is he still keeping in touch? If it were me I would lose all contact with someone I wasn't interested in. I'm very confused, because on the one hand he continues to keep in touch with me, but then on the other he doesn't ask me out. What should I do? Should I ask him out again? Should I mention our date and ask if he had a good time? It seems like it's too late for that now, I should have asked him in my first email after the date. I don't know what to do, but I don't want to give up on him yet either. Help!

Amy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would (lie) and tell him I was going to be in the city again (give a date) then ask the same thing. Say something like this.

 

I will be in Toronto again on March 2nd. Since I had such a great time with you last time maybe we can get together again..

 

See what he says. If he says no or he's busy then guess what it's not like you really had to be there anyway. (you can always say it got cancelled if he asks)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi amy - in my opinion, he doesn't sound all that interested in you, because he hasn't asked you out again nor tried to figure out a way to see you, despite his busy schedule. since you've been in contact for a month and he hasn't suggested seeing you again and you've definitely shown interest, i'd say move on. this guy might wind up being a friend, but likely not a bf.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi amy,

 

I think he might have met someone else. He could be keeping in touch with you because, while he did have a good time with you, he had a better time with someone else. Now he's just keeping you here so he has his options open.

 

That's nothing bad about you...but you don't want to be plan B, know what I mean?

 

-TOF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"If you have to work this hard, it's because it's not working".

 

=[

 

Very True!!

 

However my questions is who initiates most of these emails? If I were you I would stop initiating and see what happens, if he keeps emailing ask to see him again, if not forget him. Either way cut down on the emailing it can only take you so far, eventually one of you has to make a move.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Amy,

 

To be honest he doesn't sound interested enough. If he was, he would not have waited for you to ask him out the first time, then let you drive all the way to meet him (it could have been halfway?) and he would have asked you out again after... I mean you emailed him which is proof that you liked him and enjoyed the first date - what more does he need? It sucks, but I would give him the flick, you need someone who is more committed to giving you a proper chance - you deserve it. As for why he replies? He obviously enjoys interaction with you, but it's not enough for him to make a proper effort. I have been in similar situations before, and it has always been a case of them not being that interested and/or being TOTALLY incapable of dating - either way you don't want that.

 

Ammy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...