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Bar Kiss, no call back


tijuana

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I met a guy at the bar last week...

 

He asked if he could kiss me. I was hesitant but let him kiss my forehead. He ended up moving down to my lips and pushed for more. I pulled away and was a little quiet. He got my number but didn't want me to take his.

 

It's been 3 days now and I realize he probably is not contacting me. I don't need to be told that but I want to understand what he was thinking to begin with.

 

....and whether it is best to hold off with a kiss or go full-out makeout at a club

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He was looking for a fling. He kisses your forehead, he goes for more, you pull away, he senses your discomfort, he asks for your number on the off chance that he can call and hook up with you but didn't give you his number so that he has the option to never speak to you again. Essentially, this guy wasn't taking any of it seriously and wanted to just get physical. Not much to think about, really. It isn't a reflection on you at all, other than the fact that he thought you were physically attractive.

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Depends on what kind of impression you think is good or bad. Many women do the whole bar makeout thing because they think any attention from a guy is a good thing and that they must be leaving a good impression if the guy is that into them. Basically, bar makeouts are about purely physical gratifcation. I am sure there will be examples from women who have had long term relationships with a stranger they made out with at a bar, however, I think for the most part, bar makeouts are simply no strings attached physical gratification. If a guy thinks poorly of a women who is eager for making out in a bar, then he should basically think poorly of himself as well since he is engaging in the same activity.

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Thanks, I appreciate your answer but on the other note which is more separate from this situation do you think bar makeouts are ok? or simply leave a bad impression.

 

It really depends on the guy. You can find great guys who are fine making out within 20 minutes of meeting, just as you can find jerks doing the same. I think if you're looking for a serious relationship I'd probably err on the side of caution and not do the bar makeout thing. It's way too easy to misrepresent yourself in a negative way, and you have to get used to sifting through guys who don't want anything more. You have to be pretty good at reading those sorts of intentions and I imagine that would get old, but it's up to you.

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Thanks for the advice. I'm new to the club scene but it's just a horrible feeling.

 

I know now even more what he was doing and why but I can't help but hope that he calls. I know it's just a desire to be wanted and to get attention.

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Thanks for the advice. I'm new to the club scene but it's just a horrible feeling.

 

I know now even more what he was doing and why but I can't help but hope that he calls. I know it's just a desire to be wanted and to get attention.

 

I think we all have those desires at certain points, but the good thing is that there are places you can go to have both of those needs met and increase the potential of meeting someone who's probably interested in something more serious at the same time.

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I don't think that it was a dare. To put this in context, we were both with groups of friends and we were all sort of around each other and then he asked me if I wanted to get a drink at the bar a while after talking to people. He did not start off by asking me for a kiss. We were talking for an hour but still much too forward for my liking.

 

The 'little action' part might be correct but I doubt he was from out of town based on where he said he went to school and the fact that he ran into people he knew- but you never know.

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I'm new to this forum but what I find most interesting is the number of page views versus the number of replies. I often wonder if this is the same with all forums and people only reply to a few or whether this site is just filled with people interested in delving into people's lives without actually contributing.

 

It's interesting. The internet is a funny thing in the way that you get an almost uncensored version of people's lives because they feel the power of anonymity and you yourself get to look in without having to participate.

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I'm new to this forum but what I find most interesting is the number of page views versus the number of replies. I often wonder if this is the same with all forums and people only reply to a few or whether this site is just filled with people interested in delving into people's lives without actually contributing.

 

It's interesting. The internet is a funny thing in the way that you get an almost uncensored version of people's lives because they feel the power of anonymity and you yourself get to look in without having to participate.

 

Lots of people browse and read but don't necessarily reply to a particular thread, not just yours. Many people just like to learn what other people are going through because it helps to hear that they are not the only one experiencing a certain situation. Don't feel bad that people read and don't reply..not everyone feels comfortable replying.

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