Shy, Sensitive Guys = Not Attractive?

[shy2cool]

This pretty much sums me up. I am extremely sensitive, blush quite easily and would rather talk about emotional topics over sports. My favourite kinds of movies are dramas/romance/romantic comedies - not typically a guy thing. I dream about cuddles/kisses/mushy stuff a lot.

 

Is this not attractive at all?

[Mindelani]

Personally i prefer sensitive guys, and I'm sure there are many others who are the same. Of course it all depends on the individuals but I think sensitivity on both sides of a relationship means it has a better chance of success.

 

However, shy guys can be frustrating if the girls has to do ALL of the work so if you find that you are scared to make a move when the situation arises, you should just go for it!

[TBE_1989]

I find it highly attractive, and you sound much more like my type of guy than any sporty/macho for the sake of being macho stereotype It all depends on the girl.

[shy2cool]

Is it ok to admit that I like these things to women?

[TBE_1989]

Well, there's no point in it really, it'll probably come through in your personality.

 

Be self-assured and confident, despite your shyness.

[yeawutever]

Sensitive is a good feeling. Why would I go with a man who believed in ''Showing feeling or crying is only for women''. That type of mentality would be a turn-off. As for shyness, it would depend on how shy he is (severe, moderate or average shyness). If it's to the point, neither one of us are talking or I have to initiate the conversation 80% all the time (rather than 50/50) then it can be frustrating.

[pinkelephant]

sensitivity is good. desperation is not. lol

 

like, when i see these posts... oh do women like this or do women like that, i can't lie and say, yes i would find you attractive because i wouldn't. you don't seem like you have sense of self. like, who cares? you should find someone who will love you as you are. who cares what the majority of the women want? the majority of women (people!!) don't know what they want and only want things they are told to want. find a girl who can think for herself and one who appreciates the same thing you appreciate. at the end of the day, the person you are in a relationship with is someone you have to be honest with. you can't put up a facade for your entire life and neither can they.

[yeawutever]

sensitivity is good. desperation is not. lol

 

like, when i see these posts... oh do women like this or do women like that, i can't lie and say, yes i would find you attractive because i wouldn't. you don't seem like you have sense of self. like, who cares? you should find someone who will love you as you are. who cares what the majority of the women want? the majority of women (people!!) don't know what they want and only want things they are told to want. find a girl who can think for herself and one who appreciates the same thing you appreciate. at the end of the day, the person you are in a relationship with is someone you have to be honest with. you can't put up a facade for your entire life and neither can they.

That's the best post ever. Some people should stop focusing too much on what others think or how the media expects them to act and just be themselves. I know in terms of cooking skills, I'm a beginner but if a man demanded I be an excellent cooker, then he's not the right person for me. I would get over it and move on to the next one who appreciates me for who I am, not for what others think.

[BriarRose]

I love sensitive, shy guys (minus the romantic comedies). But I'm a little shy, too, so I usually don't end up with them.

[shy2cool]

I feel that I will never meet anyone. I lack the required skills to find a girlfriend. Girls don't want shy, sensitive guys.

 

All I have ever wanted these past ten years is to have somebody to love. I dream about having that special someone to do things with. I dream about hugging, kissing and all that mushy stuff. It's sad, but that's who I am. I am getting older but feel like an lost, unexperienced kid when it comes to finding love. I see couples everywhere and I wish that I had what they share together. It's depressing to know the fact that most of my life is well on track, but still don't anybody to share experiences with. I am not after just sex, but more the companionship. It's something that I so highly desire.

[mrvaughn]

I'm really shy & blush easliy, but there is this girl I like and she's super hot (not that it's the first thing i'm interested in...personality is) and i've been surprising myself by flirting with her a fair bit recently

[Theblueman123]

Guys who aren't in control, and who rely on women to be the dominant parter = unattractive. Guys who aren't needy, clingy and who are in control + some sensitivity = women's wet dream. Throw in good looks, and you have "the one".

[peanutbutterandjelly]

im looking for a shy, sensative guy... but theyre hard to find. Maybe it's because theyre all pretending to be someone else because society tells them that's not what women want.

[sns256]

im looking for a shy, sensative guy... but theyre hard to find. Maybe it's because theyre all pretending to be someone else because society tells them that's not what women want.

 

Yes this exactly. Us shy guys have always been told there was something wrong with being shy, and sensitive. So you try to act like some guy who can get girls, but it isn't who you are. Sad that you can't really find a woman who likes you for who you are.

 

That being said I was really shy and sensitive guy for 7-8 years. You know how far I got with any women during those years? No where, not even a foot in the door. Now that I worked on my shyness (I still have some, but it more of a reserved quiet) I can get can dates nearly every week. Only thing I'm battling through is finding someone special, and not knowing what to do.

 

So I guess maybe it is OK to be shy and sensitive. But only to a point.

[shy2cool]

Why can't I be a sensitive guy, but still be in control???? Why is this what women don't want???

[yeawutever]

im looking for a shy, sensative guy... but theyre hard to find. Maybe it's because theyre all pretending to be someone else because society tells them that's not what women want.

That can be the reason. Some of them try to go under their ''jerk mask'' as a way to impress us but we don't like phony men. We can usually tell right away when he's not being himself.

[StrawberryYogurt]

Guys who aren't in control, and who rely on women to be the dominant parter = unattractive. Guys who aren't needy, clingy and who are in control + some sensitivity = women's wet dream. Throw in good looks, and you have "the one".

 

This guy got right. Women do not like a weak dude. That being said, you can like romantic movies and be sensitive and still get a woman if you're in control and have some masculinity in you like playing and watching sports and telling other guys off when it's warranted and having self-assurance, but enough about me

[bruinsy81]

I feel that I will never meet anyone. I lack the required skills to find a girlfriend. Girls don't want shy, sensitive guys.

 

All I have ever wanted these past ten years is to have somebody to love. I dream about having that special someone to do things with. I dream about hugging, kissing and all that mushy stuff. It's sad, but that's who I am. I am getting older but feel like an lost, unexperienced kid when it comes to finding love. I see couples everywhere and I wish that I had what they share together. It's depressing to know the fact that most of my life is well on track, but still don't anybody to share experiences with. I am not after just sex, but more the companionship. It's something that I so highly desire.

It's not as simple as saying girls don't want shy,sensitive guys.Many do,actually.Most shy,sensitive guys fear rejection so they don't take the plunge and ask women out.And it probably doesn't have anything to do with your looks since all types of guys can be attractive to women .Appproach it like a scientist would,look at your lack of success objectively if you can.Try to break the patterns that you have developped.Examine what isn't working and CHANGE it .

[BrooklynGrrl]

This pretty much sums me up. I am extremely sensitive, blush quite easily and would rather talk about emotional topics over sports. My favourite kinds of movies are dramas/romance/romantic comedies - not typically a guy thing. I dream about cuddles/kisses/mushy stuff a lot.

 

Is this not attractive at all?

 

There is somebody out there for everybody. It's perfectly fine to be sensitive, but most women (even those who like sensitive men) like a man who has a healthy degree of confidence. If you're too soft or too shy women will either (a) leave because you're a whiner and a crybaby; or (b) take advantage and walk all over you. You do not want either in your life.

 

There are women out there who will love you for who you are! But if you already believe you're not going to meet her then you've already lost the battle; and if you're not willing to step out in faith then you've lost the war. What you need are confidence and exposure. You're way too shy to just go up to a woman and say "hi," so maybe you should join a few groups or meetups that match your hobbies and interests, and through that you'll be exposed to more females, and you'll be able to start friendships based off of mutual interests, and through that, maybe a relationship. Do what you love and love will follow.

 

OR: buy a really, really cute dog!!! Women will come to you, then just take it from there.

 

But no matter what: you'll never know until you try!

[shy2cool]

I am confident in what I do. It's just that I fear rejection so badly that I don't even want to have a go at asking out a random woman.

 

I guess I just assume that women want the typical masculine male. I am scared to show my more sensitive side on my dating profile even.

[JackAfrica]

Why can't I be a sensitive guy, but still be in control???? Why is this what women don't want???

 

In spite of the Cosmo inspired faddish belief that women really love sensitive caring guys, they don't. Well not as a contender to mate with anyway.

 

Here is the skinny- Imagine that you were a single nubile woman who lived a few tens of thousands of years ago. YOU were being pursued by two guys. One is a great hunter, a leader, strong and self assured, and has demonstrated his abilities to provide for you , shield and protect you.

The other guy is a sweet, caring guy who tends to hang back . He initiates little and seems eager to please you by decorating your cave. . He sits around the fire chatting with the girls while the other men are out hunting.

 

Which guy would you choose for a husband to mate with ?

 

And guess what, nothing has changed .

 

You see, a mere 50 years of feminism will not inflict one tiny dent in millennia of our evolution.

 

However there is one final point to consider about this that is rarely understood by men.

When a woman says they she wants a "nice caring" guy she means only after all your masculine attributes are well in place.

[shy2cool]

Thanks buddy, I guess that I am doomed then.

[DatingIsSoHard]

Read the book "How To Become An Alpha Male" from John Alexander.

Women might SAY they like sensitive guys but the truth is that their SUBCONSCIOUS MIND is REPELLED by sensitive guys.

[DatingIsSoHard]

Thanks buddy, I guess that I am doomed then.

 

No you are not. I'm also like you. I'd also rather watch a romantic movie than an action flick. I don't like any sports and absolutely HATE football or rugby.

But the one thing I'd never do is become one of a girl's 'male girlfriends' and watch such movies with them and all. That is a one-way ticket to the dreaded Friend Zone. There are ways to display Alpha characteristics without being physically strong. Take the typical gentleman, the corporate guy from Wall Street for example in a beautiful business suit. There are women who'd only want men like that and absolutely hate the rocker or the sporty type.

[pinkelephant]

WOW! this is horrible advice!!! be yourself. please, just be yourself. you can be a strong person without being all "alpha male" like. just be yourself and find your own personal strength! I'm really attracted to the strong quiet type and so are many girls I know. The key isn't to be someone you're not, the key is to find the strength in yourself.

 

I know it sounds cliche, but it is truuuuue.