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Friend Zone...**** Off.


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At this point its up to me if I want to move on and furthermore, how long its going to take. My Ex made it painfully obvious that this is her new life and I should just go live mine. Why am I expecting an emotionally unavailable person to realize how good she had it and how good we were together. Sadly, my bitterness is seeping into what were amazing memories and I think I can say, I cannot be friends with someone who I adore like no other. How can someone depend on you for everything and then, drop you like a bad habit and treat you with utter disrespect. I am a very deep feeling and emotional person, so be it. But it just doesn't all up and I can't let it pass. Breaking up with her creating more complexes and doubt then I have ever felt in my entire life, almost like a 6 car pile up where the wreckage is so mangled that everything needs to be undone layer by layer. I hate feeling this way, I hate doubting what we had and truth be told, I did miss her today and part of me still loves her. When you reach a level of closeness with someone, I can't just turn that off as if it never meant something. I'll never be a buddy or a friend to you and how dare you lump me in with your friends when i've seen you at your rawest place. You think you have it all figured out, not so sure about that. I know I sound bitter, but I am angry, really angry...

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Don't be a friend then. Sure it should've been the 'good thing to do' but if you can't do it, don't do it. Again, those complexes and doubt is common and normal. Anecdote: took me well over 5 months to 'start' getting over my ex. I doubted, I cried, hurt myself, etc to ease my emotional pain. In the end, it's really no contact that will save you.

 

People come and go, it was good for you and her maybe, but it's over.

 

Most people cant handle being 'friends', and in ex relationships (especially the ones that has been close ) being friends is just another term of being civil, not necessarily real friends.

 

be strong and take care of yourself.

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bluen, the love comes in tides with the anger and its a painful experience and emotionally draining too. i am not a fan put it that way.

 

even if you could be friends this is not a good stage to even contemplate it....but im with you on the no friendzone thing...cant just be melting into their soul one min and then talking idle chit chat or about their new partner the next....i couldnt do it, my feelings ran too deep. friends just feels like a slap in the face, like the other deep intimate side didnt really mean owt cos they can jus switch that part of it off. mabes this aint the case but it sure feels like it when youre the one being friendzoned

 

it doesnt mean we are a-holes or spiteful or whatever just because we cant demote to being just friends...it means we are being honest and looking out for our own well being.

 

stay strong bud

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When a female offers you friendship, she is giving you a high honor. Friends are very precious to us and we don't take friends lightly. Sometimes we are closer to our friends than we are to our lovers. It's just how we are. If she offered to be your friend, she probably still cares for you quite a bit. It's just not in the way you want that makes you angry. That's understandable. When the pain subsides, you may be able to be her friend and that would be nice.

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Please thejisup.

 

I'm female and I think that's a crock.

 

I think when people offer you friendship right off the bat of a breakup are people who want to have their cakes and eat it too. They want the pleasure of having you in their lives at their conveinence as well as to help them lessen the blow from the aftermath of the breakup maybe so that they don't feel as guilty. Possibly sure they can be genuine in their feelings and if it evolved naturally after a good amount of time for healing that's one thing, but I think to offer someone a friendship who you know still loves you is downright rude. IMO.

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You are justified to feel angry about being offered friends. It shows no respect for your feelings. I agree with legnadee I think it is 'having your cake and eating it' and it is all about what they want.

 

Like you I reacted in an angry way to an offer of friendship. How he thinks we could just go out as friends and pretend as if nothing had happened I don't know. I do think he wanted a door left open, don't them them have the luxury. I think if they dump you then they don't deserve any of you.

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When a female offers you friendship, she is giving you a high honor.

 

She is giving you high insult, she gets to keep you around as a crutch until something else comes along. I don't care how good of friends you were before once you dump then the friendship ends too. As long as feelings are still there you either get all of me or none of me in my opinion.

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It doesn't sound like a friendship would be healthy for either one of you right now.

 

However, it's not always an insult to be offered friendship.

 

I've just broken up with my significant other of 5 months and we have decided to preserve the friendship that was always one of the strengths of our relationship. We've also decided that we'll give each other some time alone to re-group and let our feelings subside before we attempt to make the transition from being friends and lovers to being close friends.

 

Both of us are facing major transitions right now in terms of jobs (I have a new position and he may be facing retirement earlier than anticipated), geographic relocation (for my new job), etc. and it simply wasn't the right time for us to continue investing in a romantic relationship.

 

Maybe it's easier for us to envision converting our relationship into to a friendship because it was well thought out mutual decision made in response to a question I asked a week ago regarding where the relationship was going given all the major transitions both of us were facing. Although there was a certain sense of sadness about the loss of our romantic relationship when we discussed transitioning to a friendship on Friday, the decision was made in the context of mutual respect, trust, and affection for the other person.

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