syxx87 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I need some people's advice! For those who dont know my story, here is the quick rundown. - Were together for 3.5 year - Broke up with me for her boss in the end of November because I didnt do the "little things" anymore, took the relationship for granted, etc. - Was in NC/LC for the month of December and she threw so many mixed signals at me. - She told me and mutual friends how much she missed me, loved me, and all the other stuff close towards X-Mas. - New Years, we all hung out and me and her spent New Years together, made out, and spent the whole day together talking about us, where we went wrong, and even the potential of reconciliation. - She got distant again after that and I finally had enough - Finally told her after New Years that we would be in strict NC while she was dating her boss and have been for about 5 weeks (A little over a month) now. - Found out this past week that she has been talking to my grandma on FB. - Found out through a mutual friend that she broke up with her boss this past Wednesday. Now for the latest, So the ex just called me and sent me a text saying "Uhm Hi. If you arent busy please give me a call. I mean if you dont want to then I understand but I would really appreciate it." I've been waiting for this for a little over a month now and I dont know what to do now. I want to get back together with her but I'm worried about being disappointed and hurt when I call. Good people on ENA, please help me! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Call her and ask what she wants. Let her explain herself. Then ask if you can meet somewhere in a very casual, neutral setting (like a coffee shop). Good luck! Link to comment
Theblueman123 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 - Found out through a mutual friend that she broke up with her boss this past Wednesday. She may be hurt from the breakup (with her boss) and is leaning on you and your family for support. I would suggesting finding out her true intentions (make her tell you straight up) before you progress any further. Link to comment
syxx87 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 Well I just got off the phone with her and I wont say it was awkward but it was weird. We just asked how each other were and she asked me if I would come over so she could talk to me about some stuff so I'm gonna go here in a few minutes. I'm just hoping for the best and hoping that I wont be burned again. Link to comment
ichiban Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Just dont be the rebound, safe guy. Keep your heart well protected. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Just remember; Don't expect anything. Keep your distance, emotionally anyway. Let her talk. If she's talking about him, then you can come back home, cry, and tell us all about it and we'll be here for you. Link to comment
bish0p2004 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Hate to say it, but I have a bad feeling about this as the OP has already made himself the back up guy and he will get burned again. Link to comment
syxx87 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 Thanks for all the advice! I'm going over there with my guard up! All I can hope for is the best. Link to comment
bish0p2004 Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Thanks for all the advice! I'm going over there with my guard up! All I can hope for is the best. My advice...cancel now. But, I know you won't. Good luck anyway Link to comment
iBroken Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 If you want to get back together with her, then go over and see her. However, dont go over expecting the world....just go listen to what she says and if she throws a reconciliation your way, tell her that you need to think about it and that you are hurt by her actions, and being the plan B (or something to that effect) Dont make any rash decision (but i understand its easier said then done especially when we find ourselves in the moment with the one we love) Link to comment
syxx87 Posted February 7, 2010 Author Share Posted February 7, 2010 Thanks Ibroken! So if everything seems to be going well, would it be ok for me and her to spend the evening with each other or should I keep it short? Link to comment
JBaker Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Keep it short. The way things have played out with you two you have to make her work for it. Just don't make it too easy for her. Like they have told you, tell her that you need some time to think about all of it (if she mentions reconciliation). Then give it a couple of days of thought before contacting again. This is good news though. She is at least reopening communication with you. Congrats. Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 yeah, whatever you do, dont run back into her arms and take her back. If I were you, I would have waited a few days to call her back, but it seems like you are set on meeting her tonight. keep it short and if she wants to get back together let her know you have to think about it. Link to comment
TimeToGrowUp Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 It's just amazing to me .......... How a woman could leave a man for her boss ... then the moment it ends with him, it's kosher for her to think it's time to call her ex- who she dumped in the first place. Link to comment
JBaker Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 It's just amazing to me .......... How a woman could leave a man for her boss ... then the moment it ends with him, it's kosher for her to think it's time to call her ex- who she dumped in the first place. If it is any consolation, it was almost a week before she contacted her ex. It could well be that dating her boss showed her how much she missed the OP. This would not be such a bad thing. If she was dumped by the boss it might say something else - but she dumped the boss, so... Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 It's just amazing to me .......... How a woman could leave a man for her boss ... then the moment it ends with him, it's kosher for her to think it's time to call her ex- who she dumped in the first place. Sad part is some are resentful and want their old partners back. Others just want a warm body there. Hard to decipher the difference. Link to comment
JBaker Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Sad part is some are resentful and want their old partners back. Others just want a warm body there. Hard to decipher the difference. That is why it is essential for the OP to take some time to figure it out. If she is just looking for a warm body then she may get angry and end any chance at reconciliation. If she genuinely misses him then she will be more patient. Taking a few days will also give him time to rush back to eNa so we can analyze the sh*t out of their meeting tonight. Link to comment
1guygirl Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Taking a few days will also give him time to rush back to eNa so we can analyze the sh*t out of their meeting tonight. yeah this makes it worth while staying up to hear the next installment... OP...go over now, see what she has to say....but dont stay too long cos we want you to run back over here and tell us allllll about it Link to comment
peanutbutterandjelly Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 sounds like a good saturday night to me! I wish you the best syxx, hope it goes well! Link to comment
Chris Knows Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Taking a few days will also give him time to rush back to eNa so we can analyze the sh*t out of their meeting tonight. Pshhh ... Update from the Iphone in the bathroom! Link to comment
JBaker Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Pshhh ... Update from the Iphone in the bathroom! I know that I will be personally offended if we are not receiving such live updates. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Hey guys, did I missed anything? I'm waiting for the OP to return! Link to comment
SeaDunkel Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Wow, we're all so pathetic, living vicariously through each other's meetings with our exes. Haha But I can't help it! This is exciting!! Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 Wow, we're all so pathetic, living vicariously through each other's meetings with our exes. Haha But I can't help it! This is exciting!! It's okay. I don't have a life. Link to comment
Tired Tiger Posted February 7, 2010 Share Posted February 7, 2010 I know that I will be personally offended if we are not receiving such live updates. I don't recall that JBaker guy giving us live updates. Link to comment
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