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She kept one of my things, what is that about?


mgirl

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I know this is weird, about a stuffed toy, but please read on!

 

I recently broke up with my ex. We were only together about 6 weeks, but dating was intense etc. We broke up because when i asked if / when we'd become a "we" (as in, prioritise each other first), she flipped out and kicked me out of her car. Anyway, after lots of emails and her re-iterating that a romance is just not possible (i sent her some brutal emails and she said she had too much self-respect to continue with me, fair enough), i accepted that it was over. She seemed to show no remorse or indication that i was important to her.

 

Anyway, she became attached to one of my stuffed toys, a little monkey. We used to play with it at her house, along with her other toys, just for fun.

 

Once it was over, she immediately suggested we exchange our things and offered to do whatever suited me. During this stage she was very polite, almost clinical. I was clearly distressed and angry, how could she be so casual about it? Didn't i mean anything to her?

 

Anywah, last night, she finally came over as she knew i wasn't going to be home. We had arranged this and she was fine with it. I left her stuff out and she returned mine. She also sent me a text message thanking me for putting music on her iPod.

 

Please note: a week earlier, when talking about returning our stuff etc., she'd said in an email, "you won't like this, but i am going to give the Monkey a hug and kiss before i return him to you". Out of anger, i said "keep the f'g monkey" (obviously it was the last thing on my mind!).

 

Anyhow, last night, i got home from work and she had returned everything except my monkey. Why? The weird thing is, she returned some things i had actually given her, but chooses to keep the monkey.

 

I feel ripped off, betrayed (like she just wanted to take yet another thing from me)... This also comes on the back of me being quite generous throughout our time together: shouting dinner, and generally being a little more giving than her.

 

I messaged her earlier this morning saying "is there any reason you kept my stuffed toy?". Surely, she must have known i only said this out of hurt / anger (frustration) the other day? Whilst i really didn't care if i got him back, i don't think she should keep it. I have decided that the only way i can move forward is to retrieve it, mainly so that we don't have anything of each others and therefore no excuse to see each other, unless it is to talk, which she clearly doesn't want to do. she has done this all through text message and email. We haven't even talked.

 

It's like, i'm not good enough to be with, but she'll keep something of mine?!

 

Why do you think she kept the stuffed toy?

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I think she kept it because you said "keep the effin monkey" - even if you did say it in haste.

 

She just text messaged me and said that. What a clown, 37 and she still has to text message. Breaking up with someone over text message, classy.

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She kept the monkey because she likes the monkey and you told her to keep the f'en monkey. Pure and simple. No other reasons at all. By the way, no harm intended, I found this post hysterically funny... am still having and it is giving me the best laugh ever in 2 1/2 years! Thank you!

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She kept it because you told her to. Maybe because she actually wanted it.

 

If I was in her shoes, and I asked to keep an item and received a text to "effing keep the item", I would probably keep it. Especially because if you said to keep it (especially with that tone) it would almost be a slap in the face for her to return it. Almost as if she was trying to make you angry by going against your wishes, you know? She probably thought you wanted her to have it and thought it would be spiteful to return it when you said to keep it.

 

Anyway, if it's really so important to get the monkey from her than ask for it. But honestly it sounds like you're really still angry and can't see through the anger. I would advise you to just let the monkey go.

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She kept the monkey because she likes the monkey and you told her to keep the f'en monkey. Pure and simple. No other reasons at all. By the way, no harm intended, I found this post hysterically funny... am still having and it is giving me the best laugh ever in 2 1/2 years! Thank you!

 

No, i know! It is so dumb and ridiculous, i am a 40 year old woman!!

 

Sunny, you're probably right. I guess it just makes it easier for me to get it and then we don't have to see each other, no excuses if you know what i mean. Golly, part of me wanted her to keep it because i wanted her to be reminded of me, but another part says "just get it back, she wanted a clean break, maybe you should do the same too". The monkey is representative of my heart, she still has some of it, and i don't like it. I want some control back!

 

This is so silly..

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Hi Mgirl

 

Honestly - try and let this go. You told her to keep the blasted thing even though that may have been in anger/haste.

 

You say she broke up with you by text and that IS pretty childish, but her booting you out of her car may well have been a hint to you!

 

Walk away and let it go hun - life is too short, eh?

 

Mark

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Yeah, i know this is stupid. It's not like i'm going to be on the phone or anything demanding it back, i just want my "self" back, i don't like giving part of myself away to have it taken for granted.

 

Anyway, live and learn. I'm going to go back to being a cold heartless person, it's easier that way. If anybody wants a piece of heart, they'll have to work for it In the meantime, i am thinking about a nice packet of chocolate biscuits and to make some lasagne for dinner!

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Yeah, i know this is stupid. It's not like i'm going to be on the phone or anything demanding it back, i just want my "self" back, i don't like giving part of myself away to have it taken for granted.

 

Anyway, live and learn. I'm going to go back to being a cold heartless person, it's easier that way. If anybody wants a piece of heart, they'll have to work for it In the meantime, i am thinking about a nice packet of chocolate biscuits and to make some lasagne for dinner!

 

Hun - take yourself back - don't rely on the stoopid monkey

 

Only you control you - or at least, that is the way it should be.

 

And don't be cold and heartless because you will never pull it off!

 

Lasagne sounds fab - you have given me the munchies now... but just a tip - have the lasagne before the choccie biscuits

 

Mark

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