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How much do you "clean house" before your date comes over?


citymouse

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I am exhausted and feeling a little resentful which I know is totally stupid of me.... tonight he's coming over for dinner and here I go again with the vacuuming, dishes, laundry, picking up junk, taking out the trash. Then I'll have just enough time to run out for take-out because I don't have the strength or the time to cook a big fancy dinner.

 

I kind of miss coming home to the dust bunnies and dirty dishes and not worrying about having to impress anyone.

 

I am exhausted in general. I feel like I'm trying too hard to be perfectionist... yesterday I ran myself in circles getting my nails and hair done, and shopping for lingerie (I came up empty handed after all that work too)...

 

We've been dating about six weeks so I guess I feel like I still have to put my best foot forward... does anyone else do this or am I going overboard?

 

By the time he gets here I'll be tempted to invite him to join me in bed for a nap... I'm sure he would have no problem with that though.

 

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I know how you feel, but I do that if anyone is coming over. I do try to keep things tidy everyday, but it is still the dust, floors, bathrooms, etc. that need to be cleaned for company. I usually take a day off work before a party at my house just to get ready. I just like to have a clean house for company.

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It's still early days in your relationship so you still want to make a good impression. Though, if you keep dating he's probably going to have to see the 'real' you at some point.

 

I can't remember how long it was into our relationship, probably a year or so, I'd texted my boyfriend to tell him I was coming over earlier than planned one evening; he wasn't ready for me - that is the dishes needed washing, stuff tidying up etc. Usually he would have asked me to give him half an hour or so, but as my appointment finished early and it was pointless me going home only to come back out again, he said that we needed to see each other as we would be normally.

 

It wasn't that great a shock because he's much neater and tidier that I am. I can wind him up by saying I can see a speck of fluff on the carpet. I swing from being a complete neat freak to being a total slob with little middle ground. I made sure he knew that before I started staying over and when I'm not there, he misses all my stuff...

 

I will have the same problem as you because he's stopping with me for a few nights next week and I'm exhausted thinking of all the cleaning and washing I have to do. There's more than usual because I've had a relative stopping with me who's as messy as I am.

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I know how you feel, but I do that if anyone is coming over. I do try to keep things tidy everyday, but it is still the dust, floors, bathrooms, etc. that need to be cleaned for company. I usually take a day off work before a party at my house just to get ready. I just like to have a clean house for company.

 

Yea I agree with this. I try to keep my house as tidy as I can so that when I do have people or a date coming over I don't have all that much to do. But usually if I'm having a party I do a real intense cleaning, but if I just have a date coming over I'll just vaccum and windex my glass tables and mirrors. Also I think it depends on who your dating, the last guy I dated gave off the impression that he wasn't the neatest person in the world, so I knew to him my house always looked clean and I didn't have to worry about every nook and cranny.

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citymouse, I think you're going overboard. While it's nice to put your best foot forward, why not show him who you really are, so it doesn't come as a shock, later on in the relationship?

 

As for myself, previous to marriage, I'm a clean freak so it never mattered when anyone came over, at least in reference to cleaning up.

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Yeah I know that same feeling. When I was in high school, my mom in particular is a pack rat, and hoarded everything and kept everything out, everywhere. It looked ugly and tacky. I was embarrassed to have any friends over, and whenever one of her friends would come over, she would make me do an entire overhaul of the living room, which by her standards means to shove all objects into her bedroom.

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I always did my hair and nails myself and shopped on-line. I just can't be bothered with running to and fro. And it saved me money, too, not having professional services done - I just won't spend money on that.

 

Just relax, have a glass of wine, the take out will be fine - he just wants to see you.

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if you keep dating he's probably going to have to see the 'real' you at some point.

 

 

 

I think after running myself in circles the past two days, I am ready to let it all hang out next time around. Well, maybe not all of it!

 

 

Just relax, have a glass of wine, the take out will be fine - he just wants to see you.

 

You're right. I'm sure if I hadn't vacuumed and mopped, he never would have noticed... I think I need to relax a little more and stop taking all of this so seriously.

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I think after running myself in circles the past two days, I am ready to let it all hang out next time around. Well, maybe not all of it!

 

 

 

You're right. I'm sure if I hadn't vacuumed and mopped, he never would have noticed... I think I need to relax a little more and stop taking all of this so seriously.

 

That is all you are going to spill to us? Lol! Hope it went well....

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I used to do the same thing! Take all day to clean my apartment if someone was coming over. But it got too much & I just stopped doing as much. It helped that when I started paying attention to other ppls places, they were just as messy as me! Only I didnt notice at first because I wasnt visiting them to look for dirt, I was there to see them. Which is probably the same in reverse.

Maybe try cleaning a little less each time. Plus its normal to have dishes in the sink, dust on the floor, maybe some toast crumbs on the kitchen floor lol most ppl do at some point

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Plus its normal to have dishes in the sink, dust on the floor, maybe some toast crumbs on the kitchen floor lol most ppl do at some point

 

I have black tile in my kitchen so every toast crumb shows! LOL

 

 

 

That is all you are going to spill to us? Lol! Hope it went well....

 

It went pretty well but there were some twists and turns... I posted a new thread with an update.... I think though that after last night I am going to feel more comfortable letting him see the real me, toast crumbs on the floor and all. I hope that's a good thing. I just have a lot of insecurities and the way I usually cope with it is to turn into a control freak/perfectionist which is exhausting & I don't want to do that anymore!

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I try to keep things relatively tidy, especially if I have a visitor (female or otherwise). But some weeks the dust bunnies, dishes, and laundry accumulate and even when I clean up for a guest, all I can see is all the crap I've missed.

 

But I must be doing something right, or most people are slobs. Here are three actual quotes from first-time visitors. Interestingly enough, the first quote was from a stoner chick I took home whose car was a disaster area of candy wrappers and old junk food, and the second quote was from a girl who was Korean:

 

"Wow your place is so clean. Most guys' places are a mess."

"Your place is so clean. It's very Japanese."

"So are you a neat freak or what?"

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