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Do you Dream about Long Ago Ex's?


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I had a dream about my last ex from 2 1/2 years ago and in the past I've also dreamed about my ex from 5 years ago. I can't understand it. While I was with the last ex I didn't dream about the previous ex. But over the last 2 1/2 years since I have not been with, seen, or even spoke to either and I randomly dream about them. It freaks me out, I mean how long will this go on?

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I still occaisionally have dreams that feature a boy I liked when I was in junior high and high school and who I haven't seen since we were both 19.....and I'm 45 now.

 

But, these tend to be pleasant rememberances for me...and nothing more. I'm quite happy with my life as it is now, and have no desire to track him down nearly 30 years later. I'd rather keep him in my memory as he was at 19 and younger. I won't be looking for him on facebook.

 

 

How do you feel when you wake up from these dreams of your ex? What goes on in the dreams? Do you feel like there's still "stuff" from that relationship that you need to deal with?

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My dreams are not nightmares, they are pleasant actually, the day to day of our relationship, conversations as if we were still together. I feel comfort and happy and almost like a sigh.

 

When I wake I am upset because I am reminded that it all ended and that I have been over it for a while, but the dreams make it feel like it was yesterday again that we were together. I don't want them back at all, but I miss that comfort so it upsets me.

 

I wonder if I am dreaming of them and they left that impression on me even thought we parted, did I leave the same impression and do they think and dream of me or am I a nut for this lingering in my subconscious this long. I have not talked to or seen either of them in years.

 

Btw, both relationships ended bad, one after repeated cheating and the other after distancing himself after we discussed marriage and decided we were ready, which of course he was not, but said otherwise.

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With a little more context, it sounds to me like you miss the good things about being in those relationships because you don't have those things in your life right now. Doesn't make you crazy, just means you're missing something you don't have.

 

When relationships end badly, it's easy to let yourself think the whole thing was bad...when, most of the time, it wasn't all bad. If it was truly all bad, we wouldn't have stuck around -- something good kept us there for a while.

 

 

That your brain is re-playing the good is, to me, a sign of healing -- you can acknowledge there was good and they weren't totally evil, y'know?

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Yes, I still have dreams about my ex that dumped me 14 years ago (I have met her twice since, she lives on another continent). She and my now ex were the two 'ones' I have had in my life (which is why I don't subscribe to the whole 'one' idea) and as I stated in another post, they have become the same person in my dreams - and I have had these dreams as recently as last week. They are both very different but come from abandonment/divorce backgrounds. It's funny that I still dream about a girl that left me 14 years ago, sometimes I wake up so perplexed that I tell my best friend and he says 'dude, tell her.' I could, but..

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I still have occasional dreams of my most recent ex. The break up was somewhat traumatizing and it happened several months ago. My most recent dream of him was him asking for me back, although I am currently in a steady relationship with someone I love. I just remember in that dream seeing him talk to me but my mind racing to find my current boyfriend so I can get away from my ex. The dream did shock me a little bit.

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I think, when you dream of these exes, there are unfinished business within yourself when it comes to them in a spiritual manner. What I mean is... Maybe because one of your exes cheated on you, now you have trouble trusting other people in your life now... And that comes back to your conscious when you go to sleep and there you see your fears; Your ex and the horrible memories.

 

It's something that, in the end, you have to fix yourself.

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  • 2 weeks later...
With a little more context, it sounds to me like you miss the good things about being in those relationships because you don't have those things in your life right now. Doesn't make you crazy, just means you're missing something you don't have.

 

When relationships end badly, it's easy to let yourself think the whole thing was bad...when, most of the time, it wasn't all bad. If it was truly all bad, we wouldn't have stuck around -- something good kept us there for a while.

 

 

That your brain is re-playing the good is, to me, a sign of healing -- you can acknowledge there was good and they weren't totally evil, y'know?

 

This is very introspective and makes so much sense.

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Yes, I still have dreams about my ex that dumped me 14 years ago (I have met her twice since, she lives on another continent). She and my now ex were the two 'ones' I have had in my life (which is why I don't subscribe to the whole 'one' idea) and as I stated in another post, they have become the same person in my dreams - and I have had these dreams as recently as last week. They are both very different but come from abandonment/divorce backgrounds. It's funny that I still dream about a girl that left me 14 years ago, sometimes I wake up so perplexed that I tell my best friend and he says 'dude, tell her.' I could, but..

 

Wow 14 years...very interesting how they become one and the same,because of this I think shes2smart's comment may play a part in your dreams as well. It's probably not about her so much as it is about the good time.

 

I wonder if you dream about them when you are in another relationship or is it only when you are not with someone.

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Is it possible that both these exes symbolize something(s) to you, rather than the actual persons? Were these dreams similar in nature?

 

They are similar in that we are still together or realize that we were apart but not anymore and that we are happy again. If I were to guess at what it symbolizes I'd say it symbolizes something I don't have anymore and have not had in a while. The fact that I didn't dream about the ex from 5 years ago until I broke up with the ex 2 1/2 years ago probably means that if I had someone special in my life the dreams would stop.

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