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Is it possible?


love-instead

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I'm often told, or read, that it's not possible for young people (teenagers) to fall in love. I do believe that to many, it's just a word, from my friends' experiences, but I'd like someone else's opinion based on my experience.

 

I have loved my guy friend for about three years, with him only hinting at returning feelings for a small period of time, and then getting over it quickly. I can't get over him, as much as I try. If I have a dream where he even holds my hand, I wake up and feel a heaviness in my heart and sometimes I even cry. We never dated, and I've never actually had a boyfriend.

 

I really don't mean to sound pathetic... but I think I am.

 

I love his bright blue eyes, and how sweet and caring he is, and even though he has obvious flaws in his personality, I still love him. Even when he got that awful haircut, I still loved him.

 

But is it really love? What if that's just not possible at fifteen?

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There are many different shades of love.

 

There is love for your family.

 

There is first love, the kind you feel as a teenager and normally end up in tears over.

 

There is love at the start of a relationship, where everything is amazing and happy.

 

There is love 25+ years into a relationship where everything is familiar but still makes you happy.

 

There is love when you've never met someone, love when you've never touched someone, and love when it's not requited.

 

Just because you're young does not mean it's not Love, it's just not the same kind of Love you'd feel in a long-term relationship or a marriage, nor the kind of Love you'd feel for your parents or your own children when you have them.

 

But the thing is, if he genuinely does not return your feelings then you shouldn't waste your teenage years mooning over him. It would be better to accept that you probably won't ever date, cry a bit, then pick yourself up and start looking around to see if anyone else might be interested

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But the thing is, if he genuinely does not return your feelings then you shouldn't waste your teenage years mooning over him. It would be better to accept that you probably won't ever date, cry a bit, then pick yourself up and start looking around to see if anyone else might be interested

 

I understand, and I really want to get over him, but I'm having problems with that. For about a week I've been able to keep him off my mind, but last night I had a dream about him, and woke up and felt like crying. And now I'm back to square one and missing him again. Avoiding him won't work because he's my friend, and we do hang out and talk on the phone, although not quite so often as I've definitely pulled back a bit trying to get over him. I really value his friendship, and I want that to continue, but I don't know what to do...

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  • 2 weeks later...

In my past experience with getting over a guy all connections had to be severed, which means no talking, seeing each other or using friends to communicate. But the fact that you two are friends makes it a little more difficult. But as HouseKitten said, try shifting your attention to another guy, don't rebound but find someone who catches your interest and who also seems interested in you.

You're young, remember that, you're going to meet tons of guys along the path of life and yes, you will experience heart break, but it's all a part of life and will make you stronger and with each new experience comes new things to learn and figure out.

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I went through something similar when i was about 17, i thought i was in love with one of my friends. For about two years i hoped and prayed he would want to be with me but he never did. I didn't ever get over it on my own, it took someone very special to come along to drag me out of it. I went out with this new guy for about 3 years and i never looked back. I think about this teenage love i had and realise it was a crush, i was absolutely infactuated with him and guess it was lust more than love...but who knows, it could have been love; what is love?

 

Just wondering if you have ever told this guy you like him? I know you said he hinted he liked you but have you ever just told him?

 

Try not to waste your teenage years on him, you should be out having fun and building your career..easier said than done i know! This will pass eventually, it might take alot of will power but you will get over it and you most likely will go through it again at some point. It sucks but unfortunately its life.. I wish you all the best and hope that everything works out

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