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Broke NC after 3.5 weeks


hoorah2

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So, last night I broke NC with my ex after about 3.5 weeks. And this actually wasn't instigated by me (well kinda). Since NC, I've been receiving contact from her at least once a week, but the last week picked up a lot and she was calling/texting 3 times a week. So last night, she called me again and I picked up.

 

After getting through the normal "hey how are you" BS, i asked her "why are you calling me?" she responded with "what, i cant call you anymore?" and i told her i thought it was a little weird that she was calling me after she broke it off with me. She then said "well, i just wanted to talk to you cause miss you and still care about you and we are still friends."

 

Needless to say, that got me upset and we started arguing a little and what not (she still doesn't understand why i'm upset at her). After about 10 minutes of talking, we got disconnected, played phone tag for a bit, then i went to bed.

 

Is there any reason to look into what she said i miss you and care about you and what not, or just let it go and continue with NC?

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I'm going to assume that you want more than just friends. How painful would it be for you to switch gears and hang out as platonic friends? Sometimes the dumper still wants to comfort of the friendship and contact with the dumpee. Some might call this having their cake and eating it too. I'm not saying I'm strong enough to do this...but you might say something along the lines of, (if this is indeed the case) I am not able to be friends with you right now, I need more than that. If you want to check back with me in the future I will always listen and be your friend, but right now I'm not ready. Good Luck

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I say keep on NC and DO NOT become friends, at least not at the moment, if there is absolutely no chance of this relationship to work again.

In this case a friendship would inhibit you to go through the healing process properly.

If its over than you need to start the healing process so you could get over her.

She probably misses you as her crutch or something, and it seems that she is also having hard time with the break up, but dont forget something ,she was the one who dumped you, so you should not worry too much about how she feels, first of all take care of yourself, you are the important person here, much more important than her, and your first goal is to heal yourself and only then when you are more or less balanced, if you feel like helping her you can do it...although me personally i would not worry too much about it. My advice just let her know that if there will be no relationship , you can not go on with anything else, because eventually it would hurt you, so you have to think about yourself first.

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Dont look into it youll only drive yourself crazy. Stick to nc, if she wants you back shell ask for you back, my ex did the same thing and it was just a back and forth that in the end was not worth it. They just worry that youve moved on and want to keep you around (most of the time), dont let this set you back, do you and if she wants you trust me she will come running back.

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