Don't know where to turn....he's got me

[tspo28]

So I've been falling head over heels for someone I've known for a year now. He is everything I ever wanted and more...he makes me laugh, he's gorgeous, great job...

 

We went out with a group during the week and we were both sleeping over in the city b/c we had meetings to go to in the morning (we don't work together just have similar jobs) I roomed with my friend.

 

During our night he whispered in my ear that he thinks we should talk about where our relationship could possibly be going (we never kissed or anything just flirting) So I took a walk with him and he sped ahead of me so i started running saying wait wait to catch up. he got out of my sight for just a minute and while i was looking for him he ended up being behind a wall and when he saw me running by he grabbed me and kissed me....my knees just went weak, it was amazing.

 

So we walked back to his room and he told me how he loves being with me and he just wants to hold me well one thing lead to another and we did everything except sleep together.

 

When i went back to my room i felt like i could conquer the world, I knew this was someone I could love and be with forever

 

today i found out he is married.

 

i don't even know what to do at this point except to obviously walk away....do i tell anyone? do i confront him? or just ignore him?

 

my heart is completely broken...b/c i really thought i was falling in love with this person...

 

and how the heck could he have hidden his marriage so well after knowing him for a year?

[ToF]

I'm so sorry

 

Unfortunately, this sort of thing happens way too much. He is immature and a player in the worst sense of the word. I wouldn't tell anyone, unless you really need to vent to someone you can trust not to spill the beans.

 

Just don't ever talk to him again, unless you have to. And in that case, just be civil and end it at that.

 

He roped you in...and guess what? Got you to almost sleep with him even though he's made a lifetime commitment to someone else. You do not want this in your life.

 

Just write it out, cry it out, and move on when you can.

 

Hope you're doing okay.

[catfeeder]

What would you get from a confrontation, exactly? He already knows what he did, and he did it deliberately. Confronting him isn't going to instill in him the conscience he lacks, and the drama will only expose your vulnerabilities to one who clearly enjoys exploiting them.

 

Walk on, head high, and my heart goes out to you.

[Maya_A]

Is he supposed to be happily married or is it the kind of marriage that is only on paper and the two people are separated in every other way & heading for legal separation or divorce?

 

Not that it is ok, but it might at least explain some things...

 

And are you 100% sure of the 'source' that had you find out he was married? Could by small chance you be mistaken?

 

Yes, it would be something hard to hide for an entire year.

 

And why would he say he'd like to talk about where your & his relationship might be going?

[Ms Darcy]

If he's wanting to talk to you about your relationship, I would tell him there is no relationship because he is married. Then I would walk away. I would speak it to him aloud so that he knows you know and that it's not an acceptable stunt to pull.

[Taikero]

I would find out if he's in the middle of divorce proceedings and/or if they're officially separated. Find this out from someone who isn't him and is credible, someone who knows them personally.

 

If this is the case, he should have been up front with you but might have been scared to for fear you would break things off with him, even though he's trying to become officially available.

 

How you go from there is your choice. If what you say is true then he has deceived you, but you have to judge the truth of things and his intentions in deceiving you, and whether or not you believe he was going to deceive you about this indefinitely. Further, decide whether you see him deceiving you in the future. It sounds as if he's pretty good at hiding things.