Three weeks since the split

[woodst0ck]

Three weeks since the split and four days since I told her to move out of the house. Although I seem to have regained some semblance of sanity and a little more control, I still feel like my world has come to an end and when I'm low, I really don't see any hope for the future so what's the point of carrying on feeling all this crap.

 

She's popped back a couple of times since Tuesday to pick up items she needed and emailed me every day since then. Nothing really personal.... mainly asking how to set up her computer at her mother's house and personal email setup on her work computer although one was asking how I was and let her know how much I'm spending on housekeeping so she could transfer money from out housekeeping budget. On her last visit, she did give me a funny look and when I asked what that was for, she said that she had missed me.

 

I'm only putting down these details because they may be relevant, I'm not holding out any hope for a reconciliation although her family really wish we could work it out.

 

I wrote a thread the other day about whether I had done the right thing in getting her to leave. The general consensus was yes and I do feel it was right but her absence is causing me a huge amount of pain. I woke up in out bed this morning and reached out for her hand as I have done for years and and then I remembered and my world crashed again.

 

I know that I need to go through this but I'm beginning to feel that there's little point. There is nothing to look forward to and I really don't know whether I'm too old to start a new life (50)

 

Any advice?

[Kaytie]

I think you've done the right thing by asking her to leave. Both of you need space.

 

I am glad that she at least is still doing her part financially.

 

My ex left and so I am here in the place we shared. I completely understand how it is to wake up, reach for her, and then find nothing. Then the whole realization comes flooding back to you. I don't feel that as intensely as I did 2.5 weeks ago though so I know things will get better and less intense for you over time.

 

Considering what you are going through I'd be surprised if you could see hope for the future right now. That's why it's important not to think too long term when in this kind of pain. Focus on each minute, hour and day and try your best not to think of years and years down the road. Being married as long as you've been things are not just going to get better in such a short period of time unfortunately.

 

Plus right now it sounds like you and your wife haven't discussed or made any concrete plans as to what is going to happen. So you don't even have the closure or anything close to it because no decisions have been made. Feeling in limbo like that, although necessary in some situations, doesn't help the healing process.

 

Her daily contact is also difficult, I'm sure.

 

Have there been any further discussions as to what you will both do or do you have to just wait until the 2 month period?