Broke NC... and glad I did...

[onground1]

I broke NC two nights ago... I did it on impulse after 30 days of being broken up. Actually, we first broke up a few months ago and she has been going back and forth with her emotions, each time destroying my hope a little more. Finally at the end of Dec it fully ended with an abrupt conversation that was then followed up by an email from her trying to explain her feelings. I read her email about 100 times...basicaly saying that while I am great, there might be a better fit for her out there and she needs to try and find him. Kind of like GIGS but a little deeper. I told myself, no matter how much I want to see her, talk to her, I must let it go. I was doing great until the other night.

 

I was experiencing something at the time that only she could appreciate and share with and I just did it...hit send and let that text fly. Right after I sent it, I immediately regretted it...until about 30 seconds later when she responded.

 

We then texted back and forth about 10 times and then we talked for about an hour. In that hour she was able to communicate more with me than in the past few months. I am not happy about her change in feelings, but I now understand where she is coming from and feel much better. By breaking NC, and learning a little more about her feelings, it has allowed me to better accept that this relationship is over, and undertand why, making my break from NC worth it.

 

I 100% believe in NC. NC is about healing, yet everyone heals differently. I was healing, but maybe needed that last bit of insight, closure you could say to completely move on. I got it, and now back to NC becuase there is no reason to contact her anymore. NC has helped me greatly, and used wisely, can be an amazing source of strenth and advocate for change, but it can also keep you from knowledge that just might be needed to completely help you to move on.

 

We are all on this site lookng for and also giving help and support to people hurting. There are no solutions that work 100% of the time, but NC has for me been the best tool yet, but just make sure you use it in a way that works for you, so you dont ever regret what might have been...

[furiouspsych]

Sounds like u got a better sense of closure from this...glad to hear it! It's those that expect to change their ex's minds that most often are disappointed by breaking contact.

[onground1]

Honestly, closure was exactly what I got. I think that is the hardest part of having someone break up with you when things seem to be so good and you dont get any real reason (GIGS). It was very hurtful for awhile but after some time had gone by (NC), I think we both were able to communicate better, and I am a much better place and able to begin to move on. I say begin, because as hard as this has been, I still have such deep feelings for her.

[Brigadoon]

Same with me 6 months after the break. It was nice to say a final "goodbye" to our relationship after the dust had settled and everyone was feeling better.

I agree that this is really the only way you're not gonna regret breaking NC, if you break it with the hope of reconciliation then you're not healed enough to break it, if you see what I mean

 

Oddly I now feel that although getting back together isn't even remotely on the cards the fact that we now feel well and truly over and all the hurt has gone means that at some point in the future we'd have more of a chance of remembering each other in a positive way and something happening.

Not the point of finding closure but a comforting thought to help you move forward and make you feel like everything thats happening is for the best