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How much drinking is too much?


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Is drinking moderately frequently ok? Is binge drinking occasionally ok? I'm confused.

 

Hi everybody, I'm fairly new here as you can see by my post numbers. You guys offer good suggestions and many of you have "been there done that" so I'd really appreciate it if you could give me some pointers.

 

My bf is 22 years old. He has recently changed jobs where he found a number of co-workers he gets along with and gets invited for drinks by them fairly often. Part of last week & this week (a span of 7 days) he was drunk for 4 of those nights. I think that's too much. I voiced my concerns to him, I'll give you the gist of the conversation just in case there's some important details you may pick up:

 

*He was telling me how he got a day flu after drinking the night before, and spent the next day at work on the toilet & puking*

 

*I asked him how was feeling now and is he ok... etc.*

 

Me: Did you get home ok? Were you driving sober?

 

Him: Sober-ish. I stopped drinking 1.5hr before I left, and got home no problem.

 

Me: If you weren't sick today, and your co-workers asked you out for drinks again, would you go?

 

Him: I don't know... I really don't know.

 

Me: If you get drunk today, that would've made you drunk for 5 nights in 8 days.

 

Him: Wow (not sarcastic).

 

Me: When you look at it that way, that's a lot. Drinking problems sneak up on you; by the time you realize your body craves alcohol, it's too late, you already have a problem.

 

Him: That's why I occasionally drink myself sick so my body creates a negative connection to drinking.

 

Me: Binge drinking is not good either!

 

Him: I said I only do it occasionally! Like once every 5 times.

 

Me: How often are those 5 times though? If your co-workers invite you for drinks every 2nd day, would you go every time?

 

Him: I don't know, I haven't decided yet. This is a new experience for me, I've never been invited for drinks this often before.

 

Me: I know you're an adult so I should trust that you know what you're doing, but I just want to let you know that I will /not/ tolerate drinking problems and drunk driving.

 

Him: Yes, that's why I stopped drinking 1.5hrs before I left last night.

 

Me: Thank you. I mean, I know you're only 22 so you're still at the party phase, but please don't develop a drinking problem. My dad had one and I hated it.

 

Him: Ok.

 

Me: Can I trust you on that?

 

Him: Yes (very firmly).

 

*Then we went on to talk about other things*

 

This conversation took place 2 days ago. The next night - last night - he didn't call me; I'm afraid he went drinking again! Today's Friday so he might be off to some party getting smashed. Again! Am I being paranoid or do I have a valid concern? He has good character so I trust him on most things, but I'm afraid this would become one of his vices.

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Sounds like your BF is having some problems if you have lets say one beer then i could see it as okay but when you get to the point were your buzzed or sober-ish is a problem.

 

If this goes on for another week you might wanna have a talk with him. Tell him when he goes out for drinks he can get something non-alcoholic. He should tell his co-workers: "I've had to many drinks this week i'm trying to lay back for abit" If i invite people or someone for a drink and they have something non-alcoholic i can understand at least they came out i'm sure alot of people might feel the same.

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Him: That's why I occasionally drink myself sick so my body creates a negative connection to drinking.

 

I'm no expect of the subject of alcohol, but I don't believe this is how your body works. The more he drinks and the more often, the more damage he is doing to his body, and his body will not create a 'negative connection' to alcohol, it will simply start adapting so that he can drink more and more every time before he passes out or throws up or both. This happens all the time - I rarely drink so I only manage 2 alcoholic drinks on a night out, my friends who are on varying scales of drinking can manage more because they drink more often. If this is what he's seriously thinking then you need to put him straight because this sort of misinformation is causing him to hurt himself.

 

He is seriously damaging himself. Binge is drinking is never okay. People end up in the hospital after nights binge drinking because you are poisoning your body and at some point it will take drastic measures to stop you.

 

I think you have a valid concern. Just because you're only in your twenties does not mean constant drinking and binges are okay and will not having lasting effect.

 

You've spoken to him once, see how it goes now. If it doesn't calm down then I think you need to readdress it, because he could kill himself one of these days.

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