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My girlfriend got an abortion


rfish

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Okay so I need some advice hope this is the right category. My girlfriend started becoming distant shortly after Christmas and we really didn't see each other until new years eve after Christmas. New Years day we spent our last morning together. Two weeks went by we finally broke up officially. She mentioned she thought she was pregnant towards the end of December but I assured her she wasn't and it was due to alot of stress in her life due to other situations including money. She told me she was too stressed to have a boyfriend and she didn't love me anymore and saw no future with me. So that was that and she did say she took a test and it came up negative the day we split up. This morning after two more weeks I get a text of all things saying she had an abortion yesterday and that if I was any kind of a real man I would pay for half of the 420 she says she spent. She claims to be broke and can't pay bills? Why not ask me for the money first then I could of helped out and saved money for it? I would of supported her decision. I just don't know if she really had one, if it was mine, if I should pay I just don't know what to think. Ugh please help

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Uh I live in Canada so abortions here are free.

 

Id find out if she has a receipt? Its not being cold either. She told you she didnt love you, she didnt tell you she found out she was pregnant, and she didnt tell you she was going to have this abortion.

 

Is she with someone else?

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So she took a test that was negative and now actually she was pregnant after all?

 

This doesn't sound right. Where on earth did she get in done that it cost that much? I thought it was possible to have it free a lot of places now, unless you choose to have private treatment or something.

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Uh I live in Canada so abortions here are free.

 

Id find out if she has a receipt? Its not being cold either. She told you she didnt love you, she didnt tell you she found out she was pregnant, and she didnt tell you she was going to have this abortion.

 

Is she with someone else?

 

I don't think she is with anyone else but I don't stalk her so I really don't know it really doesn't matter to me or not if she is or isn't I just don't get the feeling she was really pregnant idk. She told me she wasn't right with herself and needed to be by herself.

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Seems very strange that one day she's had a negative test and then two weeks later she's already found out she's pregnant and had the abortion.

 

I agree that you should ask for proof with some sort of receipt from the clinic before you pay anything.

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So she took a test that was negative and now actually she was pregnant after all?

 

This doesn't sound right. Where on earth did she get in done that it cost that much? I thought it was possible to have it free a lot of places now, unless you choose to have private treatment or something.

 

I never saw the test so I really don't know if she even took that. It just seems like if this really did happen why keep me in the dark for so long then spring it on me the day after and expect me to have 200 bucks laying around. I mean if I had full knowledge of all this saw she was pregnant took her to the place then I would be happy to accept some financial responsibility

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Seems very strange that one day she's had a negative test and then two weeks later she's already found out she's pregnant and had the abortion.

 

The time span bothers me too, I'm not even sure you can get an abortion that quickly. Over here you have to see a doctor, then they have to refer you for the abortion, and you have to wait for an appointment.... it seems very convenient that she's managed all that in two weeks.

 

Tell her you'll need a receipt. If she hasn't got one, most clinics would probably have payment records so people can get receipts for insurance claims and so on.

 

Hell, see if she can even come up with the name of the clinic!

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I would ask to see proof of payment before paying for anything.

 

Agreed. Now I just question if it was mine at all due to the shadiness of all this. As soon as I ask that question she's gonna blow up and say of course its your etc.

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The time span bothers me too, I'm not even sure you can get an abortion that quickly. Over here you have to see a doctor, then they have to refer you for the abortion, and you have to wait for an appointment.... it seems very convenient that she's managed all that in two weeks.

 

Tell her you'll need a receipt. If she hasn't got one, most clinics would probably have payment records so people can get receipts for insurance claims and so on.

 

Hell, see if she can even come up with the name of the clinic!

 

If she lives in the US, she can walk into lots of "aboration clinic" and have it done the same day.

 

But yes, I would say ask for proof before even thinking about giving her anything.

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The time span bothers me too, I'm not even sure you can get an abortion that quickly. Over here you have to see a doctor, then they have to refer you for the abortion, and you have to wait for an appointment.... it seems very convenient that she's managed all that in two weeks.

 

Tell her you'll need a receipt. If she hasn't got one, most clinics would probably have payment records so people can get receipts for insurance claims and so on.

 

Hell, see if she can even come up with the name of the clinic!

 

 

I'm not sure of where the OP is from but things are very different in the US vs. England..

 

of all the people i've known who have had elective abortions, they've had to pay for them. My sister went to an abortion clinic and was scheduled for the procedure the following week. Depending on where you go, there's not a long wait unless there's medical issues stalling the procedure.

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I would not pay even if she produced a receipt because there is no way you would know if you were the father if she were pregnant.

 

Well yes that's true. But in most cases where an abortion is done there is no paternity test to prove who the father was. So you never totally know for sure. That could be used to let every guy off the hook because he doesn't really know for sure he's the father.

 

I think if you had unprotected sex and she can prove she actually had an abortion then there is at least the chance you were the father. In that case I think contributing towards the cost is fair.

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Well yes that's true. But in most cases where an abortion is done there is no paternity test to prove who the father was. So you never totally know for sure. That could be used to let every guy off the hook because he doesn't really know for sure he's the father.

 

I think if you had unprotected sex and she can prove she actually had an abortion then there is at least the chance you were the father. In that case I think contributing towards the cost is fair.

 

I agree with this & was thinking the same thing. On another note, you can say you aren't paying because you wanted the baby and she never told you about this decision (but you said in your post you would support her decision either way) so I think if she comes up with proof, you should give her something.

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Well yes that's true. But in most cases where an abortion is done there is no paternity test to prove who the father was. So you never totally know for sure. That could be used to let every guy off the hook because he doesn't really know for sure he's the father.

 

I think if you had unprotected sex and she can prove she actually had an abortion then there is at least the chance you were the father. In that case I think contributing towards the cost is fair.

 

I agree with this as well.

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I think if a women is with a man in a relationship and there are no particular problems it would be reasonable to assume he is the father. But in the circumstances as described by the OP, in which she grew distant, claimed a test proved she was not pregnant and then claims she was pregnant but had an abortion at the same time that she says she is having financial difficulties and asks for money in an aggressive manner; I would not trust anything she said, particularly since he was not even consulted before the abortion was supposed to have taken place.

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I think if a women is with a man in a relationship and there are no particular problems it would be reasonable to assume he is the father. But in the circumstances as described by the OP, in which she grew distant, claimed a test proved she was not pregnant and then claims she was pregnant but had an abortion at the same time that she says she is having financial difficulties and asks for money in an aggressive manner; I would not trust anything she said, particularly since he was not even consulted before the abortion was supposed to have taken place.

 

Well sure,sounds pretty suspect to me,however she had no consideration for him at all in regards to the abortion and then asks for money? I would let her pay for it herself,she might learn something.

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I just don't get how someone could say they are so into you in love with you etc then like a light switch be done with you then have the nerve to come asking for money out of the blue for something you really have no way of knowing is true or not. Why make it up just to get money out of me she could of just kept sleeping with me and asked me for money to help her out so that leads me to believe it could be true. Then there is the timing issue and the fact she is broke why spend your last 420 before knowing if I would give her half or not? I'm figuring if she was pregnant it would of been only 6 to 8 weeks so still time to ask me for help before spending rent money idk

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I'm sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend broke up. Did you love her? How deep was the relationship? I would recommend that before coming to any final decision, you meet with her in person. Be sure and act the way you'd want to be treated, but guard your interests at the same time. Be gentle on her; she is clearly someone with problems. You will be able to better guage her truthfulness about this situation if you talk with her about it face to face. Just my opinion. Plus it's a serious matter; not just asking you to pay for maxi pads. You know? Like, a life-changing decision was made her...we think. So just meet with her in person and then figure it out from there.

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