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Emotional affair or no?


belledejour82

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For the past few months my husband has been spending a lot of time talking on his cell with a female co-worker. I really hadn't noticed anything until I saw our bill. He went $100 over so I looked at the calls, they were all to her. When I asked him what was going on he just said they were friends and talked about work stuff. She calls when we are together and he won't answer. I tell him that this is very shady and he just says he doesn't want to upset me by answering. I decided to call her and ask her if anything was going on. She went on and on about how he adores me and that I am his whole life but she also said they are best friends. I told him that I didn't care what they talked about, that is was not ok with me that they talked so much. He acted like I was crazy! I told him he wouldn't be ok if the shoe was on the other foot. He said he wouldn't care but I know he would. He eventually said he would talk to her and that he would make it clear that it was not ok for them to talk outside of work. Well the cell bill showed up again and nothing has changed! I am at a loss...she says he adores me and there is nothing going on but they are best friends?? He won't talk to her around me?? This doesn't seem right at all

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something isn't right. I have a very cool male co-worker and we chat at work but never outside of work. if you do, it should be in couples ONLY. think about it. why would you want to talk to someone on the phone alot when you work with them and see them EVERYDAY!??!? and he lied to you by saying he was going to talk to her about it yet the bill is still the same!!!

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She would say that.

 

She's hardly going to admit to his wife that she has feelings or that they're closer than friends should really be.

 

It sounds dodgy. If it was all innocent then I don't see why he wouldn't talk to her when you're in the room. That stinks of deceit. He has at least some notion that what he's up to is not decent. I don't think he's told her anything about not speaking so much.

 

Show him the additional phone bill and confront him properly. It's good to have friends about this but calling that much? I do believe, and I know not everyone does, that a married couple should ideally be each others best friends, and if you have a best friend outside the marriage then it should be someone of the opposite sex. It's not always that way but I do not think the married people should have close relationships with people of the opposite sex - especially if their wife has told them she feels uncomfortable with it!

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Transparancy. if a couple does not have it, the relationship will break down. he is having an emotional relationship with this woman, no matter what they say about it. this is not above board and is very sneaky. last time this happened to me, years ago, he ended up marrying that 'friend'....and cheating behind my back.

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Since they're best friends, I would have asked her why you haven't met her yet?

 

Seriously, they're both hoping that you'll buy this pathetic story that they're trying to sell you. I'm sorry you're going through this, and it has to be your call as to whether you can ever trust him again.

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It's not like I don't think you can have best friends of the opposite sex (I have).

 

But this is very fishy.The huge amount of time spent apparently spent talking together, and his lack of transparency are clear clues that he is not being honest about the nature of this relationship.

 

Also, Her version of the story is worth nothing, as she has a personal relationship to protect.

 

I agree with you - this does not seem right at all.

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I actually have met her in person when I went to see him at work. She just tells me the same thing about how I am his world and such...she is also married and has 2 kids. From what I hear, her husband doesn't like this much either....

 

Speaking as someone who has had experience with this stuff, believe me, there is definitely something going on.

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